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She wants to be the only child and I want her to be happy for her to be a sister.

2007-02-10 18:00:32 · 13 answers · asked by Alexis W 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Trying to Conceive

13 answers

let her know that although she may be angry now, she'll love her little siblings later. also let her know that she has no choice in the matter. you are already pregnant and are going to have two more babies.

2007-02-10 18:04:55 · answer #1 · answered by stephieSD 7 · 0 0

Perhaps if you involved her in the pregnancy, she'd be able to get a little more excited? Each week you could show her, from either pictures in a book or online, how the babies are growing and what they look like at that stage, etc. Let her feel your belly when they kick, etc.

Also, tell her all the advantages of being a big sister! She'll have two little siblings who will greatly look up to her...when she's 16 and able to drive, they'll be 8 and thinking that is SO cool (as well as many other things she'll be doing...little siblings usually adore their older siblings and want to be just like them). She'll get to share a special bond that no one else in the world will have--only siblings know and understand.

My stepdaughter had been an only-child for 13 years and was a little surprised when we told her she was having a little sister, but she is SO into it now...she adores her sister! But I also let her be a part of everything that I could...I wanted her to not feel left out. And she's SO looking forward to all the great milestones her sister meets.

Sometimes it just takes a little while to get used to it all. You could also tell her you'll still have a "mommy and me" day for just her, for as long as she feels she needs it. That would be really sweet. Reassure her that these babies will NOT take her place in your heart, but that they will each have places of their own, just like she has. And she's already got a special spot in the family...she's the firstborn! She should feel lucky. =)

I hope everything works out...I'm sure it will...just give it some patience and love and understanding. =)

2007-02-11 02:29:15 · answer #2 · answered by Megan V 4 · 1 0

Give her responsibility... like "Kaylia, what color do you think i should paint the baby's room?" If you make her feel like she is helping with decisions I think she will be happier when the babies come. She will take the role of caretaker. Is she from a previous marriage? In that case it will be very important to make her feel like she is no less loved than the twins! :)

2007-02-11 02:05:25 · answer #3 · answered by bigblackandbeautiful99 2 · 2 0

there is probably alot of fuss about the twins so she is afraid that she is going to be pushed aside...you will need to spend more time doing things with her such as taking her to the park and not talk about the twins the whole time...in time she will be excited once she realizes that she will be an equal...if you do have her help pick out the colors for the babies room you should have her pick out a color for her own room at the same time...i've had parents go through this and they just set alittle time aside each day for just the older child to assure him/her that everything is going to work out and in time they will get along great.....

2007-02-11 02:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by buschchick 4 · 0 0

Dont spoil her!!!! Tell her dont be a selfish kid... who cares if shes not an only child... tell her something like, "ok kaylia if ur in my tummy right now and this baby im carrying right now is u.... what would u feel... why wont u give this baby a chance to live??"
Wow..... I'd be pissed if i was her dad.

2007-02-11 02:06:49 · answer #5 · answered by Help me 3 · 0 0

She has to come to terms with it-- the rest of the children do. I would suggest finding a nanny or a good babysitter to get to know your child so when you and your husband are extremely busy with the twins, your child wont feel so neglected. Try very hard to make her feel special, despite how busy you'll be. Maybe buy her a pet fish or something..

2007-02-11 02:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by Christine4tw 3 · 1 0

First of all how old is this kid. Is she is old enough to put the thoughts together that Mom and Dad are having new babies and I'm not going to be the only one any more. And how much attention does she get for saying these things. I know that often we feel like we are sell outs for having more kids and not having the spoiled only child, but kids will say whatever they have to for attention. Not that you don't give her attention but they really love to have that focused attention, like oh my god, you don't want us to have another baby or two. Instead ignore it when she says these things and reinforce the good. Say out of the blue sometimes, "I can't wait till you have your babies, you are just going to love having them to play with". Meet her interest, I'm sure she likes to have someone to play with huh. Or wow Momma must really love you if she's gonna have this big belly to give you some baby siblings to play with. Get her interest and make her feel like they are for her too. Once you get her interest tell her about how much fun it will be to feed them and change their stinky diapers and all that good stuff. help her to read books to them in your belly, she'll love them in no time.

2007-02-11 04:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by t2ensie 3 · 0 0

your daughter will adjust to the new arrivals,you need to be patient with her, try including her in everything you are doing as to setting up the nursery,buying clothes etc, I'm a mother myself of twins and when i had my 3rd child my twins were excited when i told them mummy was having a baby but as time got closer they had their nose out a little but i included them in everything that i was doing for the baby they helped me set the nursery up and got everything ready even helped me pack my hospital bag. My twins are 6 years old and their baby sister is 10 mths and they love her so much and do everything for her . Your daughter just needs to adjust that their is going to be 2 babies and that you love her just as much,and when your twins are born try to explain to her that mummy is going to be very busy and that you need her help with the babies. She will be fine. Good luck and congrats

2007-02-11 08:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by blue eyes 2 · 0 0

Tell her how important it is to be the big sister...how the twins will always look up to her and ask her how to do stuff, that she will be the star...plus if she's like my older sis was, you get the beat the crap out of your younger brothers/sisters...lol

2007-02-11 02:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by Steelhead 5 · 2 0

maybe what you could do, if she is old enough, is let her now how much you'll need her to help out with her new sis or bro's let her know that you'll need her help picking out outfits for the babies and how much of a big help she will be.You could try and get her excited about assisting you when you bath the babies by passing you bath wash, towels and stuff.Just keep letting her know that you still love her but your having babies and that is that.

2007-02-11 07:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

oh man i was like that when i found out my mom was pregnant with my younger sister. you can't MAKE her be excited, but i know that as time goes on and she seems the new baby she will get excited and be happy. just give it a little bit of time.

2007-02-11 02:03:39 · answer #11 · answered by ricleigh 3 · 2 0

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