is it me? he says i do things to make him mad but i dont have a clue what im doing wrong. he says he wants to leave me but says he cant live without me in the breath. this as been going on for about 7 months. what am i doing wrong? is it me or him thats crazy?
2007-02-10 16:39:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
They react in one of two equally horrible ways: they will attack or they will withdraw. Be wary of wandering into this dragon's cave -- narcissists will say ANYTHING, they will trash anyone in their own self-justification, and then they will expect the immediate restoration of the status quo. They will attack you (sometimes physically) and spew a load of bile, insult, abuse, contempt, threats, etc., and then -- well, it's kind of like they had indigestion and the vicious tirade worked like a burp: "There. Now I feel better. Where were we?" They feel better, so they expect you to feel better, too. They will say you are nothing, worthless, and turn around immediately and say that they love you. When you object to this kind of treatment, they will say, "You just have to accept me the way I am. (God made me this way, so God loves me even if you are too stupid to understand how special I am.)" Accepting them as they are (and staying away from them entirely) is excellent advice.
They can't see that they have a problem; it's always somebody else who has the problem and needs to change. And they criticize, gripe, and complain about almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time.
2007-02-10 17:11:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its u, it sounds like ur husband has some issues that he needs to work out. The 2 of u should sit down and have a heart 2 heart. There is something wrong if he can say that he luvs u and hates u all n the same breath. Let him know that u don't want to continue n this relationship if this is not what he wants. Let him know that he needs 2 talk 2 u when he has a problem and not make the comments that he has been making.
2007-02-11 00:46:29 · answer #2 · answered by 2good4hem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its him obviously, dont even think it could be you. If he says you are doing things that are making him mad, then he needs to be specific and tell you what those things are. He sounds like he is very immature.....a person cant come out and say you are doing things that make him mad, but cant tell you what. If he could tell you what, then maybe you could do things differently. If he wants to leave you, but says he cant live without you, then he needs some help....even it its just to work on his ability to express himself a bit better. This man will drive you crazy, unless he can be a little bit more specific and express himself a bit better. Dont accept it....dont take responsibility for his inability to communicate. He has a real problem and dont think for one moment you are doing anything wrong. If he cannot tell you what you are doing wrong, then he has the problem. All you can do is keep on doing the same things because you dont know what it is that is making him mad. He's playing mind games with you...thats a form of abuse. You are blaming yourself for something that is making him unhappy, but he wont tell you what it is...so realistically speaking.....who has the problem? I think you need to start thinking logically and not emotionally....He is making you feel guilty for something you havent got a clue about....thats mental abuse....its crazy. He has to stop doing this. If he cant live without you, then he has got to start being a bit more adult about this. You have to value yourself a bit more and not accept his shite. You need to tell him straight that you are doing nothing wrong, and if he wants to keep you, then he needs to be a little bit more reasonable because he is being totally unreasonable and blaming you for something that is his problem. Maybe he has a mental illness, in which case, he needs some help. Love him, sure, but see the writing on the wall too...he is the one who has a problem...a big one it seems, and only a professional will be able to help him. You are a victim of mental abuse...make no mistakes about that.
2007-02-11 01:01:44 · answer #3 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a very fine line between love and hate ..im serious i know this after two wives and many girlfriends..so its normal dont sweat it and if it bothers you just divorce him and well the next one will be the same but then again consider being single . you have many options
2007-02-11 03:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is crazy. Get some couples counseling. Maybe that will help you two get to the root problem. Then you can work on that.
2007-02-11 11:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is abuse. A man doesn't have to hit you to be an abuser. What he is doing is emotional abuse. You are doing nothing wrong.
2007-02-11 00:48:41 · answer #6 · answered by pisceswoman87 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicole1....i just can't figure this one out....i think more information would help....i personally think you might be feeling a little bit guilty...send me a e-mail..mikjmiz711@yahoo.com.....good luck
2007-02-11 00:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by michael m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does not know what he has
i hate to tell you this but it is the truth
2007-02-11 00:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by jaybar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs therapy!!
2007-02-11 12:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by Chloe [: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋