I was so hurt by this. These guys at my school wre saying some awful things about my hair. They were saying that my hair was "nappy" and that I was "bald-headed" and that I used to have "good hair until I cut it" I hate the guys at my school. I used to have long hair down to my waist and now the guyus don't like me anymore because I don't "relax" my hair or wear it long. I'm tried of looking at an Ebony or Essence magazine with a Black woman with straight hair, Why can't we wear our own hair texture? And even if we do, our own people are always making us feel bad for having "Nappy hair" I'm tried of it. i'm tried of ignorant guys turning me down just because I happen to love my hair extra curly and turning me down because I'm not "light-skinned"
2007-02-10 16:28:30 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Speaking from a fellow "nappy"...I noticed when I cut all of my relaxed hair off, I received quite a few compliments from hispanic and white men. With black men it was about 50/50 (compliments vs. insults); and with black women I received 1 compliment for every 2 insults. But even taking all that into consideration...would you really want to be with a man who didn't think you were beautiful?
The reason I pose the question like this is because I have been going through the same thing since I did my BC in April. My desire to be my God-given beautiful self ruined one of my relationships. Couple that with being at a college where hispanic women are even more so the creme of the crop than usual, I was beginning to lose my confidence. But if you really think about it--there is only one man that has to think you are beautiful on this planet and that is the one you will marry. All others can take a hike! There is someone for everyone and there is someone for you too. Truth of the matter is that right now (and forever) your opinion matters most so if you think you're beautiful then you are. Be confident (kno you are beautiful because you are) rather than convinced (believing you are beautiful because people have told you).
You'll be fine and remember to sport those gorgeous kinks and curls!
2007-02-11 07:09:04 · answer #1 · answered by Jovani 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
This world is so focused on an idea of beauty that takes the white
race as the superior arbiter of what beauty is. Its hard to fight
against, hence the insults of "nappy" hair or being too dark or
having too wide a nose, etc. Every race seems to be afflicted with
this "envy" My background is Latino/Native American +, a real
mongrel or as we like to say... a hybrid. Yet look at all those Latino
women trying to go blonde, when it makes their skin tone horrible
and turns their hair a weird orangey shade. Or the Asians that
are undergoing eye surgery to give them "Western" eyes. Its
a hard thing to fight against as it is so persuasive, but you can
set your own standards of beauty and rejoice in the person you
are. The imbeciles who deride you are not worth your notice,
there are still people out there who value honesty, just look
around and you will find one.
2007-02-10 16:37:25 · answer #2 · answered by Caiman94941 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I love Black men, but they make me so angry at the same time. Some of the stuff they say is so ignorant it's like they don't like being Black. I used to hear that a lot when I was younger, but now people compliment me on how I look different. I stand out. Take a stand girl and stand out. Be proud! Those guys have serious problems.
2007-02-11 12:29:51 · answer #3 · answered by Do_As_Infinity 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way, my hair a year ago was very long and of course relax and then I decide to go natural did the "big chop off". My mother cry, and my now ex boyfriend stopped talking to me. I noticed a decline in guys trying to ask me out. I think that most of Black America is brainwashed to believe that beauty equals light skin, long straight or soft wavy hair but beauty to me is so diverse and complex.
2007-02-10 16:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
So what? If you were meant or if most black women were meant to have straight hair they would've been born with it or it the first time they relaxed their hair it would've stayed straight; but no your hair on your head is meant to be curly so wear it natural and get over what some fools think of you; when you have that flowing long hair that you can press anytime what are they going to say then?
2007-02-10 18:22:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wear my hair natural, although I do press it from time to time, and I love my natural hair. Those guys are immature and close minded, they don't know what beauty is. You should be glad that those guys turned you down because they are idiots who don't love or like you for who you are. You want a guy that loves you no matter what your hair looks like but at the same time appreciates your unique beauty.
2007-02-10 17:06:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'll bet that your hair is beautiful!! I too wore my hair short and natural for 2 years. But, I live in a city where the gay population is extremely high, and I found that I was receiving attention from the wrong gender, but, that's another story.....
The guys that tease you are insecure. They do not feel good enough about themselves to appreciate your Nubian beauty. The way that they are responding is actually a good thing: it gives you the opportunity to weed out the ones that are not worthy of your attention. You'll meet a nice young man who can appreciate your true beauty, and you'll know that he is genuine.
2007-02-10 16:34:56 · answer #7 · answered by C. J. 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
I can't really empathize with you, considering I'm white. All I can say is be strong and wear your hair however you like it! People who really matter don't care, and those who care don't matter. I think this whole "relaxed" hair thing is just a trend, like everything else, and before you know it, the girls with relaxed hair will be the ones getting ridiculed. Respect yourself. If you don't, no one else will. That's the number one lesson I've learned in life.
2007-02-10 16:36:43 · answer #8 · answered by munkees81 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
To be honest. I prefer black girls with their natural hair. I guess its to gain acceptance to have long straight "white people's hair," or "good hair." I'm half Latino and half white and I haven't dated many black girls (not by choice) but if I ever do, her cute "nappy" will be fine with me. Just be yourself, don't worry about those knuckle heads.
2007-02-10 16:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I find it hard that having short hair and darker complexion would
prevent you from being noticed and accepted by guys. Maybe
you have issues with your self esteem. Also you might want to
consider a make-over. Sometimes how a woman dress and
acts are a bigger turn off than her physical appearnce.
2007-02-10 16:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋