his ex left him destroyed the marriage and split up their childrens home. my husband was left with nothing. fast forward to me we fall in love and marry, she calls the daughter twice a day and recently bought the daughtera cell phone and will only speak with her on cell phone. daughter s7.. she says she wants daugther to call me mrs. JOnes but daughter has her new boyfriend on speed dial and calls him by his first name. she sued for child support after we got married even though we have daughter 3.5 days or more dependant on her needs. Should i be concerned. blended family hard enough without this crap..
2007-02-10 16:14:42 · 5 answers · asked by queenninza 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This woman sounds extremely manipulative and I would be very worried about what this woman is feeding her daughter. What a load of crap telling her daughter to call you Mrs Jones....she is trying to make you out like you are not all that important. No, you dont get called Mrs Jones, you are her fathers wife, and you will be called something that his daughter wants to call you, not what this woman wants her to call you. This poor girl, she is going to be so confused....and I reckon from the sounds of it, she is trying to turn his daughter against you, at the very least she is making you sound quite insignicant in your husband life. I think your husband needs to step in and put some strict guidelines in place. If you two have the majority of custody, then your husband has rights too. Take the cell phone off his daughter...tell the ex to ring the home phone explaining that these secret calls are affecting the daughter and things need to be a little bit above board. As to the child support, this situation needs to be taken to court and an court order made as to joint custody. It needs to be put in writing how many days you have the daughter, etc....if you two have her more than the ex, then she cant sue for child support....but it has to be dealt with legally. It sounds like the ex is manupilating the whole situation. Your husband has to be strong....he needs to seek legal representation and get the custody thing sorted out legally. This girl is 7 years old....she shouldnt have a cell phone....its just another manipulative trick so the ex wife still has some control. Her control needs to be taken away and you and your husband have to stay firm and show a united front. The daughter has to know that you are her fathers new wife and you are just not another Mrs Jones on the street. Dont let it go on for too much longer....get the cell phone off the child and if the ex wants to call her daughter then she uses the land line....get some boundaries going and take away this womans control. How would this be affecting the daughter? The mother sounds like she wore the pants in the marriage and still wants to wear the pants even when they are divorced. The daughter is only 7, and she is young enough to accept this situation. You are right, its hard enough without all this crap. It can stop, but your husband needs to be firm and take the cell phone off his daughter for a start.....show this woman that she cant manipulate your lives....show her who has the control. A person will only do what they are allowed to do. This woman can be stopped, but you and your husband have to work together as a team to stop her.
I wish you all the luck in the world...but more than that...I wish you heaps of strength.
2007-02-10 16:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married into this baggage so you should not be surprised your life is not "happy ever after" She can not make the daughter call you Mrs. Jones, let the daughter call you what ever she wants under the circumstance. (How about the Chinese word for mother... muqin, pronounced moo cheen) When she is in your house I would turn the mobile phone away from her and let her only have it when she goes to her mothers. (her mom can't do anything about that, and don't listen to her belly aching about it, don't argue either) You had a lousy lawyer if she got child support, but let her have it, it would cost more to hire a lawyer and go back to court, she obviously asked for it out of spite.
You really thought she was going to be your best girl friend? Grow a thick skin and just pretend she is retarded and doesn't know any better.
2007-02-10 16:35:56 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get thee to a counselor pronto, Missy,and find out what's been driving your compulsion to hook up with abusive people. This dude is playing head games with you. Do you actually believe that he has undergone a comversion from manipulator to emotionally healthy just as a result of being dumped by you. Sorry, Lady, but if you believe that, then you really are conceited. He's just trying to get back in, and over a short time, the manipulation and abuse will return to old levels, then escalate. Stay away from him and get some help with your self esteem and boundary issues. They're hurting you, and they're preventing you from enjoying the wonderful life which you deserve.
2016-05-25 08:28:09 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand it's hard but it's not your husbands fault what his EX does to bugg you...realy it can be hard but you either accept it that this goes on or do something about it. Like have the custody rights ironed out a little better...maybe nuisance charges...My Hubby's EX g/f from 4 years ago has been bugging us alot and we just don't answer the phone...
2007-02-10 16:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get used to the headaches. They never go away.It was a package deal. You should look before you leap.
2007-02-10 16:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by killmylandlord 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋