I sometimes think its me that has it all wrong because I expect to spend a little time with my husband in the morning and evening every day. I have a need for his attention and touch.....but he can go on for weeks caught up in his work......then when he finally does spend some time with me I always feel like I am so lonely and just too demanding of "alone" time. So I back off again.....but its getting old. I dont think its unreasonable to expect a 5 min conversation in the morning, a hug and a kiss before work. If I take the focus off all this together time....he seems to do fine. I dont even want to talk about our sex life...his BP medicine makes that a joke....I am just talking about time to be close.....should I just give it up? I wonder if I got into a new relationship if I would just be too dependent? am I the one whose unrealistic thinking that the closeness between us shouldn't be vanishing???
2007-02-10 15:56:45 · 10 answers · asked by Sweetserenity 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I need daily attention.Like a kiss and a hug when he leaves for work.Then the my lunch time phone call to say hi and a few flirty text messages throughout the day.A kiss and hug when he gets home from work and maybe the occasional snuggle time on the couch while watching a movie.I have to take my attention were I can get it my hubby works a lot so I can afford to stay home with our son.So he really doesn't have much time for us to spend time together face to face that is why we do the text message thing.And also their is my number one necessity when it comes to his attention.I have to have him snuggled against me or I can't sleep.
2007-02-10 16:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are social animals. We need to communicate and have physical contact with others. Some sociologists suggest we need at least two hours of skin-to-skin time each week. That's about 15 minutes a day. That doesn't mean sex time but it does mean holding hands, massaging, cuddling, and so forth.
A new relationship is certainly not the answer. Don't let your husband get away with it. Make him stop and give you a hug and kiss each morning and evening. Insist on it. I'll bet you make sure he takes his BP medicine. Make sure you both get your embrace medicine.
2007-02-11 00:30:01 · answer #2 · answered by SA Writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't selfish. I can almost guarantee that I'm more medicated than him, for BP and other things, and can function (although not like before) and still enjoy togetherness. Touch is a big deal, a lack of it is a deal breaker. If he's a spouse and feels like this, he's the one who's selfish. There are four critical times in every day of each married couple. When you wake and greet each other, when you part in the morning and say goodbye, when you meet again after work at home and greet each other again, and when you say goodbye to each other before going to sleep. If you aren't getting this, it's time to see a counselor. I find it heartbreaking when I hear things like this, because I was widowed young. Why don't people realize what they have?
2007-02-11 00:25:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your thinking is perfectly normal. You are not asking something unreasonable.
Make sure that you haven't overlooked telling him what you want. Men need it spelled out they are not intuitive.
My husband is the same way as yours I just had to address this very issue with him today. He treats our children with the same neglect and now our daughter has a new baby and he neglects her too.
We all feel like we are a bother to him.
He has succeeded to visiting our daughter and bavy tomorrow and I know that he will have a great time.
Sometimes he just gets to preoccupied and off focus.
2007-02-11 00:28:13 · answer #4 · answered by greatnewsbearer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being unrealistic or demanding.
Between a husband and a wife daily attention is a 'Given' . However busy we are, we should make time for our spouses.
You need to talk to your husband about this. You are not someone that he should make time for, only when convenient to him. You know that you are important to him, when he makes time for you.
Good Luck.. TALK TO HIM and tell him what you feel.
Remember.. COMMUNICATION is the key to any happy relationship. He may not know how you feel.
Good Luck.. once again..
2007-02-11 00:22:21 · answer #5 · answered by amoreflowers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot find happiness within yourself, please don't pretend that he is the one who can make you"feel" better. I've been married for 15 years and spent several of them in the near same situation that you are in. The difference is that I stopped pretending that the problem was him not communicating or toutching like he used to and started looking for the answer within myself. You are responsible for YOU! you are the only person taht can make you happy or sad. You get lonely because YOU allow yourself to BE lonely. Change how you look at yourself and he WILL notice. Mine sure did and we are much closer now.
2007-02-11 00:20:12 · answer #6 · answered by mom tree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I demand attention all the time. I call the cell phone, text, or email I miss him and tell him what were gonna do when he gets home. I just ask for it and usually get it. Try to stay busy, that, for some reason, always gets there attention.
2007-02-11 00:24:40 · answer #7 · answered by Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like alot of time and touch. I love to cuddle and hold hands and just spend time doing fun things with him like talking and shopping and things like that.
2007-02-11 00:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no sweetie its called marriage. my wife is like this and i have to remind her every once in awhile about it.. but well after awhile it gets to the point you have to accept it or divorce .. its just a fact of life..if your partner cares they will understand and if they dont they dont need to be your partner. ok
2007-02-11 03:58:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your husband about this
2007-02-14 17:20:31 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋