Please help..i could really use some advice about a friend of mine?

Question

ok i have a friend he is 24 years old,he has just finished his studies and came back home and we've talked about his life right now and he said that his life sucks..that he has lost interest of everything..his job is really boring because it's too easy for him,he doesn't want to meet new people because there's no meaning in doing that..or he can't fall in love right now because his is not ready for that so he meets girls just for a night(although he misses being in a real relationship)....he said that nothing important happening and that drives him mad...i told him a mllion times that it's the little things in life that are important and not the big things....he said he misses the challenges he had as a college student...but i told him not to stay in the past and move on......i can't hear him talking like that he is so young and he misses so many things....what more should i tell him?can you think of anything good to shake his head?thanks for your time...i appreciate that

Answer 1

It sounds like he has the post college blues. Very few of his expectations are being met and he's let it slide him into depression. There are several life principled that I have learned.
1. You won't get more until you are grateful for what you have.
2.. If you give off negative energy, that is what you will attract. It's
called the law of attraction and it is real.
He may have to adjust his expectations for awhile and not let it get him down. I don't know what career he has prepared himself for or what the demand for it is now. The world is changing very fast and some old axioms no longer hold true. It's those who can adjust that will be able to make a decent life. It sounds like a good time to reflect and hopefully will decide to make the best of his situation. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It's all in attitude.
Hope this helps. I wish you success in encouraging him to see something good in his situation. He may need this experience to make him a better man.

Answer 2

Boy. A couple of phrases come to mind: "This too shall pass" and "The world does not owe anybody anything" He sounds like he needs a real challenge in life to set him back on tracks, the life isn't just going to throw an interesting challenge in his lap. Part of the challenge is finding the challenge. A lot of people just out of college feel the same way, they're jobs suck, it doesn't seem worth the burden of the student loans, and he can't afford a vacation or an adventure. Challenge him to figure out something that involves the creative process, not the result. Make him draw a picture of your face once a week as a personal favor for example, and challenge him to get better at it and find a hidden talent maybe, or tell him "you need to have some fun" and take him out to kaeoke night and challenge him to sing a song, or even bet him a few bucks that he won't do it (assuming that you will lose the ten bucks-for his benefit) find something that is creative, artistic but still realatively inexpensive. Hope that gives you some ideas.

Answer 3

There are many things out there that can keep your friend active and keep his mind challenged. How about helping others less fortunate? Perhaps doing volunteer work? Remind him that there are less fortunate people out there and he should consider himself lucky to have an education that most people around the world can't have, a life to call his, as many don't even have a home or food to feed their families. He needs to put in perspective what life has to offer so that he can appreciate his own life. Perhaps changing his job to a more challenging one in which he also enjoys what he does will give him the will to go on. He might want to seek adventure with groups of friends that would bring some excitement in his life. Perhaps outdoor activities, like mountain climbing, hiking, water sports. There must be something he likes. I hope it's just a phase he's going through and that he finds the happiness he deserves. If it's something that doesn't go away, he may need to seek professional help, as he may be suffering from depression. Good luck to him.

Answer 4

So why can't he go back to school for another area of study, if that is what he is missing? Or he could try to find a job that is a little more challenging to him. There are a lot of little things that happen in ones life to make it interesting. He is single and has a job, therefore, money. Why is he in a stalemate at this age? There are so many things one can do. How about religion, or politics, or helping others in need? If he does not show any interest in these after your suggestion, he may have some clinical depression brought on my the loss of the familiar,like his studies and should see a doctor or therapist for treatment. Good-luck!

Answer 5

Firstly, your friend should ask her date to wear sunglasses. If she can't look him in the eyes, that's the least he can do. I always take the 3 step program. It works for me, no idea if it works for girls too. 1. I buy flowers. That, combined with my smile, usually works quite well. 2. I buy chocolate. That, combined with my smile and some random flowers usually works well. 3. If all that fails, I use the line "And I was just gonna propose tonight! If you don't lighten up now, the whole evening is ruined!! The proposal won't happen anyway now, your fault!" That last one always works. She feels guilty, I'm off the hook. My point: your friend should make him feel guilty for not being there with her, during her drunk night. She obviously got drunk, because she missed him so much. She should make him feel that! Btw, why do have friends like that? Tsk! Alcohol on random days. No good!

Answer 6

Sometimes the only way that people can get past an issue like this is on their own. All you can do is to be supportive of him and let him find a way. Maybe he needs to find a similar environment to the one he was in in College to hrlp him assimilate back to a normal routine. If nothing else and you begin to fear for his safety and well being, if you know any family or friends of his and suggest possible therapy or other psychological help.

Answer 7

Have him take (or give him) the test for depression. If he is depressed (he sounds like it) then he needs professional help.
An alternative diagnosis is ... well lets just say there are other mental disorders which disturb ones sense of well-being. At 24 he should have plenty of energy for volunteering in the community. There's plenty of challenges that he could try. He sounds like a victim, not in control of his life. That is a choice you make, not a condition you find yourself. TEll him to choose to take control of his life. Recognize the fear, digest it, then ignore it. Fundamentally, ther is just not much you can do for him. It is his life and you're not going to change it very much. Its a mistake to think that people change much because of external influences...but just like a woman to think she can change a man ;)

Answer 8

Well, you could always remind him that his life could be a lot worse! Everyone isn't lucky enough to get an education and then have a job to pay the bills (even though it's a job we don't like) so yeah, just tell him that his life could be a lot worse. Tell him to count his blessings instead of focusing on what he hasn't achieved yet. He's young and has his whole life ahead of him. I wish you luck, my dear.

Answer 9

he's definately suffering from major depression and he should seek some type of counseling, so if you feel that you are close enough to him to bring up this subject i'd recommend that you do and make sure that he knows that your'e only doing it because you care so much about him..

and also try to talk to him about the things that he does still have interest in, or that interested him previously.. that may be enough to jumpstart his interest in life as a whole again

Answer 10

tell him to stop crying about it tell him that life is to short to be worrying about the big things tell him to live life to the fullest and stop moping around like a big baby(well maybe a little nicer) remind him that he has people who care about him and that dont like to see him like the way he is.