When you have a fight with your husband, wife, partner or friend do you tend to just let it go in seconds, minutes or weeks later. I can have a strong disagreement with my hubby and a second or two later forget all about it. My friend on the other hand would not speak to hers for weeks and weeks. What about you?
2007-02-10 14:42:51 · 18 answers · asked by mama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I need some space to calm down after a fight or argument. I like to go for a drive or out to see my parents or something, not leaving him just geting a breather from him. My husband on the other hand is over it the second the fighting stops and is ready to move on and gets upset if I leave for a while and says that Im "leaving him", even if it is just for a drive and not a day or so with my parents.
2007-02-10 14:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to a grudge holder....and a bad one at that, it was for 21 years till I had even spoken a word and seen my brother and my family it was from 5-10 years.
I can tell you this now, a heavy weight has been taken off my shoulders and I don't get mad easily. Now if I'm put in a situation that I feel that bothers me, I ether tell the other party that I don't care "with a laid back attitude" or I just leave or quickly change the subject at hand.
The biggest lost was the years I could of had with my family and I had told them that I was sorry for my bitterness that I had for them and for the time lost... some was still mad at me for not talking to them, but all I did as they say "throw the ball in there court" and now the weight would be on there shoulders to rest and for them to forgive me for being gone for so long.
I still talk to my family even today and who am I to judge them when all I do is hurt myself....I love'em for who they are and only hope now that they too can get over the bitterness they have between themselves.
2007-02-11 03:21:23 · answer #2 · answered by david b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Years ago and in my first marriage i was and i was so bitter and angry inside that i woould bottle it all up inside and not deal with or talk about it and i would run away instead of dealing with it and facing the problem. Not the right way to respond at all and it was a very bad time for me and my life and my first marriage ended in a sad way. I now years later and in this marriage do not like to hold grudges any more and i have learned that forgiveness and letting go of things is much easier then what i used to do and be like. Forgiveness is a great healing tool and i feel much better when doing so. I am a much better person now for it then what i used to be. Sometimes you just live and learn from things. It is much better to do things the right way and to try to learn and forgive then to hold on to bitterness and anger and respond the wrong way. Forgiveness and letting go is a choice and it is the right one BUT the sad part is some people make a choice not to forgive and hold on to bitterness and anger and unforgiveness and no to do the right thing or repsond correctly to things. Either way it is a choice you make on how you respond to things. One thing i have learned is that we are not responsible for what happens to us but we are responsible for how we respond or react to things.
2007-02-10 23:10:48 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a grudge holder and I hate that trait in me. I'll do anything I can for a person even after they have done things to me, but I won't ever look at them the same. I look at my husband and I wonder what does he think about me and my attitude? I don't hold it for weeks and weeks,but I can really hold it. I start talking to you again and if he make me upset again I'm sure to bring it up plus whatever we are fighting about.
2007-02-10 23:14:33 · answer #4 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People close to me, I flare up very easily at. Five minute tirade and then two minutes later I'm talking about the weather and totally forgot that I was ever angry at all. People out of my inner circle on the other hand, I can hold a grudge forever. Yikes! My poor family! :)
2007-02-10 22:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by answergrrl3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the queen of grudge holding I have not spoken to my mother in 14 years and counting nor have I spoken to my siblings in over 10 years There are just some things you cant forgive people for and just cant forgive my family for the things They've done.
2007-02-10 22:49:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will hold a grudge on somebody that is not with me anymore or that I hardly ever see anymore if they really hurt me or did me wrong. If I have to constantly be around a friend or someone that I am in a relationship with and we argue then I will talk it out with them within 24 hours!
2007-02-10 22:50:41 · answer #7 · answered by Michael C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can get over a fight with my partner rapidly but, my friends almost never. Go figure. After being stabbed in the back by a friend I can never trust them again.
2007-02-10 22:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I CAN HOLD A GRUDGE FOR A LONG, LONG TIME!!!!
BUT WHAT'S THE BEST PART IS WHEN THE GUY COMES BACK AND STARTS WHINING AND YOU FINALLY GET THAT CHANCE TO SLAP THEM DOWN. THAT IS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD!
2007-02-10 23:57:34 · answer #9 · answered by KAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wont talk for like an hour....then after I cool down we sit and talk...cuz god know's how bitchy I can be at time....specailly if I was really hurt....
But somethings are worth not forgeting....like being cheated on...one can not for get that heartbreak....but if it's like 2 hours late being home....yeah I'll be pissed and after yelling not talk for an hour then after that it's convo time!
2007-02-10 22:48:04 · answer #10 · answered by So you think you know me!? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋