My husband and I have been married for 13 yrs. and always had a great sex life, but lately he has been going to bed early and not been interested in making love. He holds me and assures me its only because hes tired or he says it is because I never give him the chance to want me FIRST. Are there others out there with this same problem? and does it last a long time?
2007-02-10 14:42:05 · 17 answers · asked by HappyGirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe you need to believe what he says, and not second guess him. Maybe the tired thing may not be true, but I think the part about not giving him the chance to want you first, could be a very relevant reason why he has lost interest in sex. If you are always initiating sex, then it kinda takes away the equality thing. Men are strange creatures, and it doesnt matter how much publicity there is on equal rights, they still like to feel like a man. They still feel like they should have a little bit of control. You are taking that control away from him....you are deciding when sex will take place, and you are not allowing him to make those choices for himself. Maybe take the passive role for a while and allow him to be the dominant one....maybe he will feel like more of a man again when he feels he has some kind of control when the two of you have sex.
2007-02-10 14:53:42 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If this has only started after 13 years consider yourself lucky. I started to notice having to set time aside for my love life the year we were married. The 2 years before that it was wonderful . Thought that I was in heaven. And it simply has gone from one excuse to another. It's trouble with the X. He's tired after work. Too much on his mind. Now I am hearing that blood has to get to it. What ever that means. Guys don't realize that us woman would prefer the truth even it if hurts like hell. Because the rejection is worse than the not knowing. This has been going on for 9 years with me. I don't remember the last time. And we don't sleep together either. That all started from the very beginning because of his snoring, but back then at least we started out in the same bed. Well I stopped going to bed with him because he use to say "well if you'd only come to bed" Well I tired that, and that didn't work. But you sound like you have a better chance then I do at getting this fixed, mine dosen't even hold me. If he did that would be all I needed.
Good Luck
Blackie
2007-02-10 14:56:08 · answer #2 · answered by Blackie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my husband, when he is having a hard time at work or some stress going on he just wants to go to sleep and hold me. He calls my a nympho for wanting it more then once a week. It comes and goes, depends on what is going on at the time. Right now he is gone on business for months at a time so its every single day again when hes home.
2007-02-10 15:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is tired or is just slowing down a little and doesn't like being under pressure to perform.
I think that most men would love it if their wife initiated sex more often.
I think a good discussion, away from the bedroom, is in order.
2007-02-10 14:49:26 · answer #4 · answered by marchhare57 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As far as this wife is concerned , there can never be too much sex.. is he going out without You? is he acting in a way that is not normal for him other than going to bed early?
2007-02-10 14:47:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes i should make this a copy and paste message its called marriage.. you should talk to him and be honest and tell him this bothers you and please try to change ..if that doesnt work try it again and finally file for divorce and after divorce dont get married again stay single so that you can have that great sex life all the time..its normal for everyone to go through this and what they choose to do about it is their choice.. live with someone that want make love to them or keep being single and keep romance alive with different people or just say well it happens and deal with it..
2007-02-10 20:18:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure there are others. Maybe your husband needs to have his testosterone levels checked. Maybe he's just tired. Men can't always be ready for sex at any time.
2007-02-10 14:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by crazywoman88 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is a support group for people like us. It is called SWAGE. We've been getting a lot of new members daily. Nice people who are sexually neglected (yes that is what is happening to you if you look beyond the bogus excuses). Here's the URL for the group. Nobody understands who hasn't been through this.
2007-02-10 15:22:54 · answer #8 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe he really is just tired out.
Talk about it away from the bedroom and listen to what he says. We do have emotions too, we just don't always know how to express them.
2007-02-10 15:03:46 · answer #9 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's a man out there that doesnt want sex??? OMG! Call 911
2007-02-10 14:45:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋