My wife and I have been married 14 years and in that time I have been teaching for 11 years and have had two beautiful girls. I'm job starts at 5:00 a.m. which allow me to be home so that I can pick up the girls from school do home, clean house, help with their homework and do my own homework and have diner waiting when the wife get home. If I'm lucky I get to bed by 11:00 p.m. Assuming she's not in the mode. Why is she so unhappy? She works for time also and goes to school. She is doing everything she wants? Please Help me understand.
2007-02-10 14:36:32 · 19 answers · asked by SA41TX 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Something is missing for her. Ask her what she needs to be happy. Maybe she wants to be the one that gets to pick the girls up and spend the rest of the day with them taking care of the house and family. Maybe she just needs a change.
2007-02-10 14:46:11 · answer #1 · answered by HereIAm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly feel like a better system needs to be developed here. You are doing a lot and she is doing a lot too. I think that you need to talk. Plan some "alone" time where the two of you can talk...Maybe you should pick a time where the both of you can come up with a better system because it appears that the both of you are on burnout to me.....Set aside some time for laundry....get the girls clothes together for a week and iron them like on a Saturday. I am not trying to be mean or anything but she needs to help you around the house and with the kids. I know she is in school but still.....I feel that the both of you can get a lot more accomplished if you take the time to plan when is cleanup day, laundry time......You also need to be up front with her and explain to her that everything is going to be ok if she is having a time with school and work..reinforce her but that attitude is going to have to change. If your girls are old enough to help around the house then let them help. I THINK A MAJOR THING THAT WOULD HELP OUT IS PRAYER. PRAYER HELPS AND IT CHANGES THINGS. Prayer and talking things out. You can plan a little something special at home or at a park or just some place where the two of you can just breathe without the girls.....I hope this helps.
2007-02-10 22:53:49 · answer #2 · answered by Luchiana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others. I have been there, doing that. Sometimes you get weighted down with things you are doing to help make the family progress, until you forget about each other. Sex even feel like a to do list. You don't feel like a woman, you feel like a robot.I'm sure you don't have weekend things to do. Why don't you get a babysitter and take her out to just relax. Tell her the things you use to tell her about herself, walk slow, holding hands, rub her gently on the back and neck. Don't speak about work, school, the kids. Buy her a long stem rose, before you leave lay out a pretty night gown for her and tell her can you hold her tonight. That might spoil her so much so, that she wouldn't want to go back to the regular life. You are a good man a true man. Don't think for a second she doesn't know that, she's just tired, stressed out. Sometime you think women are doing what they want and that's not the case, they are doing what they have to do. Plus you are doing all the thing with the girls that she is missing. Talk to her and ask her what can you do to make it better for her.
2007-02-10 23:05:07 · answer #3 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sounds like she has it pretty good. Maybe she is just in a rut and thinks that things could be better. Have you tried talking to her about what is wrong? I know i wouldn't mind what she has. I work full time, have 2 kids, and take 3 college courses, meanwhile still doing most of the cooking, cleaning and homework help. My husband helps some, but I would definitely appreciate more. Maybe somebody needs to let her know how good she really has it.
2007-02-10 22:45:39 · answer #4 · answered by becca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife was a stay at home mom. The kids were all in school and I work fulltime. I did the housework cooking cleaning and got the kids to bed. She was never happy or in the mood either. We were married 13 years must be after 10 they quit on ya.
2007-02-10 23:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you have written, it seems life revolves around working, schooling, and your children. Where is the relationship time for you and your wife? Where is the time for the romance? With the divorce rate being so high, you would think it would click with people that they spend too much time raising their children, working and providing financially, that they forget about each other's personal needs. They dont take the time to romance each other and the pressures of daily living seem to take over, and the relationship ends up going to pack and poo. Statistically speaking, couples in their 50s seem to divorce in mass. That is because they have spent so much time rasing their children and providing for their needs that when the kids grow up, they find they have nothing in common any more...so why stay together. Marriage is not just about the kids, its about learning how to grow old together. That seems to be lacking in your marriage. Maybe its time you both sat down and re-arranged your schedule so you make time for each other. Find the romance again, and maybe your wife will find her happiness again.
2007-02-10 22:44:33 · answer #6 · answered by rightio 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask her why she is so unhappy about things. See what she has to say to you about this. Does not hurt to ask you know. She just may be really tired from her day and need rest. Do you guys ever have a day off where you can just spend time together? How about marriage counseling?
2007-02-10 23:03:45 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is very lucky! You do a lot for the house and the family...what do you do for each other? You both are going through the motions of living but are you really living...talk to each other and adjust priorties take time out for each other, date night or something...
maybe you need a couples vacation
best wishes!
2007-02-10 22:56:20 · answer #8 · answered by Q T pie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the answers you received were really good.
I would just add that she may be depressed. Clinically depressed. You need to talk to her about how you see her acting.
Talk to her and keep at her.
Pray and ask God to give you wisdom and understand of the situation.
You are a nice husband for caring. God bless!
2007-02-10 22:48:17 · answer #9 · answered by autimom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work is the problem, she has that stress that needs to go...thus why she is so unhappy. She would rather be staying at home and doing the things a woman is designed to do...not trying to offend women, but it is an inheriant part of who you are...
2007-02-10 23:20:57 · answer #10 · answered by St.Jeb 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋