Help!!! My best friend told me she was gay. what should I do next time I see her?

Question

I mean, I don't know whether I should be weirded out or what. I don't have anything against gay people, but I never really been around them. When she told me, I think I reacted all wrong. We were talking on the phone and she just said it. It just was silent for about five minutes and then I hung up the phone. I don't know why I did, but I just did. Then she called back like an hour later and I said the phone got disconnected, and I asked her if I could call her back. What should I do or say next time I see her? I don't want things to be wierd, but it kind of will be now. I'll still be her friend or whatever, but I don't know what to do. I mean will she ever be like straight again? This was like the biggest shock of my life because we would always talk about guys. I haven't even had my first boyfriend yet and she's had like five. And now my other friend is saying she is gay too. and like my best friend also has a girlfriend now. It seems like all my friends are tuning gay.

Answer 1

Treat her the same way you always have. Her being gay shouldn't change anything between you.

Answer 2

Well, it sounds like you and your friends are pretty young still. In most cases, too young to label themselves.
Sexual experimentation is normal, although you (and I for that matter) have never even entertained the thought of giving lesbianism a try.
Also it is very common now for young women to get "friendly" with other girls because of the widely accepted "hot lesbian action" that's strewn about the media these days. Teenagers follow trends, sexuality now being one of them.
Of course, your friends may actually be gay. In which case there's no reason to not be their friend anymore. I'm sure they know your sexuality, and know that you aren't swinging that way. I'm sure it's weird (my friend came out as bisexual recently), but it doesn't change the dynamic of your relationships with them. They are the same people they were before. Just remember to be honest. I'm sure if you told them how you are feeling, they'd understand, and perhaps give you some time to accept it all. They'd appreciate your honesty much more than you ignoring them.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

Perhaps the reason she has had so many boyfriends is because she is trying to figure out who she is. If you do not have a problem with homosexuals, then the fact that your friend is experimenting with this lifestyle may seem okay with you once you have a chance to digest it. I think that you should talk with her outside of school and let her know how you honestly feel. Let her know that what she told you caught you off guard. Tell her you really had no idea that she might be feeling that way, and that it is okay with you. If she needs someone to talk to that you will be there for her. Let her know that although you are not gay, that her choice is okay with you. It may seem that "all your friends are turning gay" but now that homosexuality is more acceptable in our society, people are more willing and able to identify their preferences earlier in life. I can completely relate to how you feel. Two summers ago my best friend of 11 years began dating other girls, and she hid it for a very long time from me. When it came out, it was very shocking and I was more hurt that she lied to me than the fact that she was in a gay relationship. After talking to her and telling her how I felt and learning how she felt and what she had been feeling for so long, it made us even closer. Don't avoid her, and don't give up on this friendship over who your friend chooses to date. Friendships are far too valuable!

Answer 4

Tell your friend the truth. That she caught you off guard and it wierded you out a little. She obviously trusts you enough to share this and coming out can be very hard. I had a similar situation when I was in high school. We remained friends and still did everything that we did before she came out. We just set ground rules and if either of us got out of line then we knew we wouldn't be able to handle such stress. We are still friends. As to whether or not she will ever be straight again. It's possible. She could just be going through a weird phase. Try to be patient with her and set some ground rules. She is really going to need you, probably now more than ever before.

Answer 5

You should really consider how your friend is feeling. She trusted you enough to come out and tell you. You then react like something is wrong, and it's probably bugging her right now. She must feel that you are avoiding her. Don't lie to her. If she was your best friend then you should be supportive. Doesn't matter if you werent around gay people. That totally contradicts your statement of not having an issue with them. You obviously do a little when you don't know how to accept your best friend. Talk it over with her, and try be supportive, that's all she's needs at this point. Its not easy coming out.

Answer 6

no, she will never be straight again, and none of your friends are turnig gay, as to what you should do - jsut act like you always have around her, just because you know now doesn't change anything, the fact that she told you means shes probably known for some time now, apologize for acting wirdly and reassure her that everything is still cool between you two, you noght even try thanking her or congradulating her on coming out, then just get on with yur life!

Answer 7

First of all.. someone is either gay or they are not,,, there is no turning to it..
second of all , if You cared about her before You knew she was gay , then what is the problem? if she was a good friend, then continue being her friend.. True friends are hard to come by , she may need Your support... I personally would talk to her about it.. it may help You both feel better about the situation.. It doesn't mean that she expects You to be gay also.. it just means that she cares and trust You enough to confied in You something very personal...

Answer 8

At your ages being gay is probably just experimentation. Most teens go through at least the thought of being with someone of the same sex as them but they don't all act upon it. Those that do are just trying to find out about themselves. As adults there are a lot of women who are bisexual. Strangely enough, a lot of men seem to enjoy women like that. Don't ask me why and I am a guy. You can still be their friend and not participate in their sexual activities. However there is one real good advantage to all this. . .THERE WILL BE MORE GUYS FOR YOU TO CHOSE FROM. Good luck.

Answer 9

Don't feel bad about how you handled it, because she should have told you this information face-to-face! I reacted the same way. I have a friend who is bisexual & it was hard for me to deal with it, at first. But she is still my girl & she knows that I don't 'roll that way', so we don't encounter many problems. I don't spend time with her like I used to, because to a certain degree, I am a little homophobic & I can't be as open with her as I was, before she 'came out the closet'. All I can tell you is to talk to her in person & even if you weird out, express yourself!! But remember, it probably was hard to finally tell you, after pretending all these years, so take her feelings into consideration as well!!

Answer 10

If your friend (God forbid) was in a car accident, could you still be friends if she couldn't walk? What if she dyed her hair blond? Started exercising 3 times a week? This is something that just is, no need to panic. Just let her sort this out, and if she needs your input, give her your honest opinion, but be nice if you know you may hurt her feelings. Don't worry so much about it, I would be shook too, and you might even let her know that you were taken back by it, just don't let it break up your friendship.

Answer 11

Just bc she is gay dont mean to she will hit on you. Just act completely normal. she is still the same person. she most likely has been gay a while and you didnt know it and you liked her. she is still the same person. this also might be a hard time for her so just be a friend and listen and be supportive. i have a lot of gay friends and they act the same as my straight ones.