Im grown but still kind of young and I have been with my husband for 4-5 years, married only a couple of months. I like to party and go to the club, and he doesnt. He tells me that the club is for single people. So am I wrong for wanting and going anyway? Should he just deal with it, or should I be more understanding to what he wants and wishes?
2007-02-10 14:11:09 · 14 answers · asked by BE HAPPY! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im still young and I just dont want to miss out on the fun life! When I ask him to come with me, he doesnt want to because he doesnt like going to the club.. :(
I love him to death and I would NEVER cheat or do any funny busines
2007-02-10 14:20:59 · update #1
Of course you should be able to go out, just because you marry someone doesnt mean to say you lay down and die. And all the people who have said clubs are for single people dont know what they are talking about. I see lots of married couples who go to clubs, mainly for the entertainment. They have a few drinks, they have a dance, and they are together socialiasing...there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. As a matter of fact...a family who play together, stay together....that includes going out socially with each other, whether it is to a club, a pub, bushdancing, bushwalking....anything.....and if you want to do it with him, then hes the one with the problem. I could understand if you wanted to go alone, but you want to be with him and he should be proud that you want to do things with him. I think he has really outdated ideas, and he needs to be a little more upbeat. Just because a person marries, it doesnt mean you have to stay at home and do the cooking and the cleaning and not do anything else. Most successful marriages have two people in it who want to go out, who want to spend time with each other socially. I think you are quite right in still wanting to do things socially with him. Clubs are not just for singles...thats absolutely rubbish. If he continues to be a stick in the mud...and thats what he is, then you are going to get very bored with that lifestyle, and while you say you love him to death and would never cheat on him....give it time because you wont feel that way in 10 years time. You will feel bored and taken for granted. He needs to get with it. He needs to understand that a successful marriage is based on what the two of you want/need, not what he just expects of you. He has outdated ideas, and you will, with time, get very sick of being the "dutiful" wife, doing what a "dutiful" wife does, based on the perceptions of an old "stick in the mud". You need to have it out with him. Yes, you are only young, and maybe you need to tell him, when you signed the marriage certificate, you didnt think it meant signing away your rights to have a good time socially. You are married, not dead, maybe he needs to be reminded of that.
2007-02-10 14:36:19 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is a compromise every day. There are somethings that each person will have to give into. I believe that there is nothing wrong with going out every now and then, but making it an all the time thing is dangerous. When people party or go to clubs they tend to do things they wouldn't normally do. Things that could eventually put their marriage in jeopardy. See if he would be willing to go off with you, somewhere that he can feel comfortable and the two of you can enjoy together. Or maybe you can Have one "girls night out" a month or so, and he goes with his "guys". If that isn't possible and he is still having problems, then you need to ask yourself what is more important, your marriage or a night out on the town. Try to find the best solution, and be open with each other. It sounds to me that he loves you and just doesn't want to think of you out in the clubs where more than "innocent" dancing and drinking goes on. Good Luck, honey. I hope it works out for ya!
2007-02-10 14:24:54 · answer #2 · answered by Angela K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its quite clear, that you got married to early. The reason I say this is because... you still wanna hang out and party... instead of just being a "normal wife". You should have waited on the committment. Besides I don't think you and your husband knew too much about each other... cause you are interested in things that he doesn't care about. Are you even on the same page? Try communicating, and telling how you feel.
Good Luck
2007-02-10 14:43:42 · answer #3 · answered by CUTIE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Decide which is more important - the club or your husband. Start from that. Hopefully, you'll choose your husband. Give up on the clubs for a while, and then say to him, "Hey, you know, I really want to do something fun with you. Remember when we used to go to clubs?" or whatever. Try to find a way to let him enjoy it, too--or else find something else you can do together to replace it. If you choose the club, well...
2007-02-10 14:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by cy ko tic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, you say underaged and egaged, then you say you are married. so are you confused about that too? Yes I think you are wrong because most women out there are having the problem you are having. If you are not careful you will end up having it too, right when you are ready to settle down. I agree that clubs and such are for single people. but you have to be the one that decides what is right. have you thought about how you would feel if it were you and not him that felt this way?
2007-02-10 14:18:10 · answer #5 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a lot of rubbish. Clubs are for whoever want to go to them. l'm 49, been married 30 yrs and often go out to clubs or pubs. l went out last night with friends to the casino, hubby had to work but he doesn't mind me going at all. lf your husband doesn't want to go, that's his problem but you go and have fun. Life is way too short to sit around and watch TV. You can do that when you're old , you are still young, enjoy life !! Best of luck. Oh and my husband and l both go to clubs and pubs together also, he loves to party as well !! l believe you are never really too old to party !!
2007-02-10 14:29:24 · answer #6 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude, once you are with someone, you have to take him with you. imagine if it were the other way and you stayed home while he was over at the club dancing and having a good time with other people. how could you just leave him like that? yes, you were wrong, since you got married, everything is different, he is your other half. Love is sacrifice, and if you truly love him, you will give up your crazy life style or convince him to go with you.
2007-02-10 14:16:40 · answer #7 · answered by Curly 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Did you guys talk at all during the 4-5 years. I would think this matter would have been clear at marriage time. Why would you want to run to clubs alone? When you marry, it's time to plan fun things together.
2007-02-10 14:16:15 · answer #8 · answered by Nort 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
yes, i think he is right when he says that the clubs are more for single people. maybe he could work with you and you him.....(one weekend you do something he likes and the next he takes you out to the club). or how would he feel if you and a bunch of your "girlfriends" go to a club. talk to him....but try to understand his feelings too and he needs to do the same.
2007-02-10 14:16:21 · answer #9 · answered by Latino Heat 4ever 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yep, yer married now.
Married life is full of wonderful things, experience them and quit hangin out with all your single friends every weekend. Once in a while is okay but only like 1 time every few months or so.
2007-02-10 14:17:46 · answer #10 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋