My husband insist that it is okay to sleep with our 7 year old daughter.?

Question

He is 36 years old. I tell him that she is to old to be sleeping with him and he insist that she is still a baby! I work night so it is usally him and her. I tell him that when I was a child I never slept with my parents. Who is right and who is wrong I say she is too old! He says she needs to sleep with him and will carry her to bed with him even when I put her to sleep in another room! Please clear this up for me thanks!!!

Answer 1

i know many parents male and female that sometimes nap with their older kids. however this behaviour every night on the part of your husband is excessive. sure its possible he is doing this according to the most "innocent" part of his imagination, but your daughter needs to develop her own space and sense of identity, and should have done so a lot younger than this.

put a stop to it immediately, and buy your husband a large doll to sleep with for company while you work ;). don't take "no" for an answer - she is not a baby anymore. there is no more reason for her to be in his bed nightly than there is for him to bath with her.

Answer 2

I think 7 is too old to sleep with parents. In some cultures children do sleep with parents until around 5 or 6 but it is not normal for our culture. Maybe he has a hard time sleeping alone. It sounds like it is him and not her because you said that she goes to bed alone and he wakes her. I know that when my boyfriend works late I can't sleep unless I have our 3 year old in the bed with me because I am not used to sleeping alone. You also have to consider if something creepy is going on. Trust your gut and don't second guess if you think he is up to something. Just because a child sleeps with a parent doesn't mean they are molesting them, but you also have to watch for signs because the ones you least expect are usually the perpetrators. Talk to your daughter about what is appropriate and what isn't. You may be able to get a sense of if it is innocent or not. If it is innocent, still talk to your husband about why this bothers you. Good luck.

Answer 3

This is really not at all normal. You need to insist that your 7 year old sleep in her own room, and in her own bed. Even if she is 'still a baby' and needs to sleep in the same room as a parent, I don't understand why she couldn't/shouldn't sleep in her own bed. Your husband's insistence on this point is far out of line. Talk to you daughter when he's not around and get her thoughts on this as well.

Answer 4

She is too old, even Dr. Phil says you have to stop that waaay before 7, in fact I think he says you shouldn't start at all, period. I understand if she has a nightmare but not as an every night deal. Why does it bother you though? Unless it's causing you problems I would just let it be- or are you thinking that because she is a female and he is a male that it's inappropriate? Sounds like he is the one that wants her in the bed, find out why. If you have suspicions that anything's going on, I would videotape him.

Answer 5

At the age of seven, a child needs to start learning her/his independance and sleeping in their own room.

Some kids are spoiled and still like to sleep in the bed with mom or dad.

Some kids might be afriad of the dark and want to sleep with mom or dad. If the kid is afraid of the dark, then you need to go to the store and buy her a little night light so she can see around her room and she has nothing to be afriad of. (I love night lights, and I'm 27! lol)

So, in my answer to your question.. No, it's not okay for your hubby to sleep with the 7 year old girl, because she needs her independance(even at the age of 7)..She is NOT a baby anymore (she is probably in 1st or 2nd grade, right?)

I have a five year old son, and he has his own bed, he does not sleep with me in my bed. (I sleep alone).

If my five year old son can sleep alone, then so can your 7 year old girl!

Good Luck talking to hubby and making him see things your way, hunny!

Cheers

Answer 6

I say society has a lot to answer for, if we werent all so busy being worried about what was going to be percieved as "not the right behaviour" We would all remember that when we were kids it was one of the best things, snuggling up between the two people who ultimately made you feel safe and Loved.
BUT THEN YOU READ THE QUESTION AGAIN, and again and Im sorry to question this but, he actually gets her out of her own bed and puts her in with him?
Im sorry Im going to say this but that makes me feel uncomfortable, I slept in my parents bed for comfort and reassurance after bad dreams etc, But I was never carried into their bed from my own when I was asleep.
At 7 she isnt a baby, she is sleeping in her own bed, he's bringing her into bed with him, I dont think this is healthy for anyone.
And this is from someone who slept in her parents bed!

Answer 7

Your husband is probably a sicko. That is what I like about women. Men can give them all the signs, and when they get caught molesting the daughter, the wife says, "But he was such a good husband." Of course, the wife will NEVER MENTION THE HINTS, the husband gave. Someone needs counseling.

Now just pretend to leave one night and sneak back in after the bedroom lights are off and see what happens.

Answer 8

My daughter's less than 2 years old, and I love her so much, I couldn't stand NOT to sleep in the same bed as her. It's a loving bond I have with my daughter. I don't think it's necessarly wrong, but She's getting a little bit too old for it. Still, you need to tell him that she's not his baby anymore, and he needs to let her become independent.

Answer 9

I would interview my little girl extensively about daddy sleeping with her. If I was certain (and I do mean drop-dead certain) that there was *nothing* sexual about it, and my 7-yr old was fine with it, I would allow it absolutely. (And no, I wouldn't say a word to her about sex, although I would certainly ask every leading question. Furthermore, in another discussion *totally* unrelated to daddy, I would make sure and teach her that it is *never* OK for any grownup to touch her private places, unless it is the doctor or mama --"No, not even daddy, honey, because he's a man, and men don't get to touch little girls that way, even their own little girl. Daddy would never want to touch you that way. Even if he was playing a game or just having a secret time, he would never do that. If he did, I would have to have a talk with him".
[And if I did have to have that talk with him , you better believe the police would be having it with us.]

Barring any possible hint of sex, I would say it's not unhealthy at all. (I am strong about the sexual part because that is the biggest concern). You better be 100% certain on this one.

Answer 10

It really is time to cut the sleeping strings, It defiantly does not sound excitable, Even if your hubby means well it could cause problems if the wrong person interpreters the situation in a less than stellar way.