This is for anybody whom has been divorced and is back on the dating scene....I am recently divorced (for about 7 months now).from a 2 year relationship with my wife.. however there is a very nice girl that i go to church with. She is single as well and we've been doing simple things like going to the coffee shops or going out to grab lunch together frequently. at least three to four times a week..
I know that she has strong feelings for me even though she has not expressed them, and i think i like her too.
My question to all the recently divorced out there is how long do you all think one should remain on one's own before starting back up in the dating scene?
2007-02-10 13:49:34 · 24 answers · asked by mac daddy answer man 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are a lot of people out there today that don't even wait for the divorce to be final to go out with someone else. You have already waited for 7 months. You should ask her out when you feel comfortable with starting the dating scene again. No one should be in charge of that but you. However, I commend you for feeling the ink should be dry on the divorce papers first. Good-luck!
2007-02-10 13:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by Tonya M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's good to take some time, but how much depends a great deal on the person. The issue isn't really the time, per se, but whether you have (1) healed enough from the trauma of the breakup to make a rational decision, and (2) learned enough during the healing process to avoid making the same mistakes again.
For some people 7 months following a 2 year marriage would be enough; others would need much more time to do the work involved. It might help if you got an outside opinion, not just from us, 'cause let's be honest, we don't know you, but from your close friends or your minister or your counselor if you have one.
2007-02-10 22:28:00 · answer #2 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time varies, depending on the person, and the relationship. If your marriage was empty, it would be quite easy to get over, and moving on would occur sooner. If you were deeply in love, it may take longer to get over thoughts of this person. As long as your relationship is in the past - no unfinished business, and emotionally you can give yourself to another - go for it. If you're discussing your past relationship with this girl, that's a sign that you're not ready to move on. Out of fairness to her, you need to be able to offer her your whole self.
2007-02-10 22:08:41 · answer #3 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mental health counselor, I use to tell my clients to give themselves 6 months OFF of dating for every 1 year they were married. Alot of times we think we are ready but we are really bringing out old baggage into the next relationship and no one really wants to do that!
2007-02-10 21:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by sandrabrownma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard that 9 months is approximately how long you should wait before dating if you were married or in a long term relationship. That way, you can make sure that you are emotionally ready to give yourself to someone else and hopefully not make the same mistakes in your next relationship.
2007-02-10 22:28:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This all depends on the person, its all about when you feel comfortable. Everyone is different. If you really like this girl I say go for it. Its all about finding the right person. And has very little to do with time.
2007-02-10 22:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by c ekim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you only live once, go for it ASAP! Wait r u waiting for, why do you think you should wait. Because theres a rule saying you have to, did your ex-wife say that you need to wait 7 years to date again, did she? If not then go for it cuz life is running out and you are just sitting there watching the hour glass drain and drain and drain.
2007-02-10 21:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by DDR QUEEN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is their own person. You have to do what is right for you. If you feel like you are ready to go for it then go for it. You know what is right and wrong for you don't let other people tell you what is acceptable and not. Good luck to you in everything you do.
remember this in everything you do. If you don't take a chance you don't have one.
2007-02-10 21:56:19 · answer #8 · answered by daisy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is too soon if she reminds you of your ex in small ways.
It is too soon if you haven't figured out what went wrong and how to keep repeating the patterns so it won't happen again.
It is too soon if you think about your ex (good or bad) more than about once a month. I mean think about her, not just remember something you did once..
2007-02-10 21:58:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're doing the right thing and getting to know her before you think about something serious. I like when a man take me to places like that. That shows they are interested in my mind and caring for me, wanting to spend quality time with me OH!!! this is about you, sorry.
2007-02-10 21:59:39 · answer #10 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋