When two fatal hearts collide with envy
Of each other’s perfect lives
Wanting to live in a way shown simply
Only to wake up to a lie
Embracing emptiness to the bone
Grasping what has never been
Melting into one who stands alone
For anything to make a true friend
Keeping loyalties true to fate
Wishing for something less than perfect
When perfect was never all that great
Because perfect makes past not a regret
Shallow waters pool above the ice
That is frozen ever so deep
Sinking right through would really be nice
Because there would be depth we could keep
But as for today these envious hearts are broken
There’s a lot more headed their way
They talk much yet never have spoken
Because there’s nothing left to say
What do you think it means/ Is it good bad. okay? How could I improve it?
2007-02-10 13:46:52 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
It says a lot. You are expressing a coming together, a realization of what is not, then go on to wish for more yet accepting the futility of it all and as it lies it simply was and nothing more.
2007-02-10 15:55:19 · answer #1 · answered by Sage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was absolutely beautiful. The poem brought tears to my eyes!
I am loyal to one (hopefully not for long), but my heart is with another.. Shush.... I feel like i embrace emptiness every minute of my life..and am very much aware of it. It's been a VERY difficult journey.
I think you should publish the poem
2007-02-10 22:39:02 · answer #2 · answered by Soulfulgrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It comes from your heart and experience and that can be the only way of poetry. It speaks of that seemingly endless quest of us(humanity) searching for completion
2007-02-10 22:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by elflocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its talk about when friendships are broken. I liked it a lot, I thought it was really good.
2007-02-10 21:55:52 · answer #4 · answered by karen v 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was okay. I had trouble getting into it. There was a break in the flow. Keep going though
2007-02-10 21:54:39 · answer #5 · answered by Charma 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i like it . Im not an expert at poetry but ive read a lot of boring stupid stuff online and yours is great ...
2007-02-10 21:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by BabyGurl2011 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
;-) keep up the good work
2007-02-10 22:11:03 · answer #7 · answered by asianator14 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋