My BF of 4 months doesn't compromise.We spend most of our time together within his dorm room.Our only dates have been ones I personally initiated. Ive talked 2 him many times about how our relationship shouldnt be spent in his room,&how we should include our friends when we spend time 2gether,rather than only hang out alone,& he's agreed but hasn't acted on it. I've invited him 2 go out w/ my friends & I, but he has social anxiety so he doesnt usually come.
So I've realized that we operate in different social mannerisms.I now go out with my friends more &see him @ a more personal level.
Here's the real bummer-He does not want to celebrate VALENTINEs Day with me!
His theory is that V-Day is a superficial creation of society, and he hates it.I explained to him why I enjoy it.He told me that he is uncomfortable with my expectations from him as a male in this relationship.It hurts me that he is overlooking my feelings of wanting 2celebrate our relationship b/c he wants 2 make a statemnt.
2007-02-10 13:38:49 · 13 answers · asked by dancer87 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I only wrote about the bad and not the good--
I am still with him because we share a lot of the same interests. We love being together.
Most importantly---We live in the same residence hall in college, so we spend lots of time together. He initiates a lot of our "hanging out." The problem lies in the dating outside of school aspect.
2007-02-10 14:38:15 · update #1
he even came to visit me over winter break, flew across the country, when my mom invited him (to surprise me).
he makes me feel special every day, except he wont listen to me about v-day
2007-02-10 14:40:14 · update #2
Honey, it's obvious that it's all about him. You can do better. Cut him loose and find a guy who cares about your feelings too...not only his own. Compromise is the ONLY way a relationship will work.
2007-02-10 13:43:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-11-03 02:53:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was you darling i would ditch the man. He obviously is not the right man for you if hes not willing to compromise whats the point in the relationship, serioulsy comprimisation is what makes a relationship work. To be honest with you the man sounds like a drag and a bore which is far from what you are. If all he does is sit in his dorm all day with you i would have to question if hes actually proud to have you as a gf and wether its worth bothering with the vampire. The fact he doesnt want to celebrate valentines day all just to make a point shows how much emotional problems he has, it's clear the man has issues.
2007-02-10 13:53:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is probably right about Valentines day, although us girls love a bit of superficial romance - if the rest of the time together is good then you can ignore the valentines thing - however it does sound a bit cheap of him to not go out anywhere - maybe his concern is not the superficial romance but the financial implications. You can celebrate your romance any day and as I am sure you know you don't need to spend loads - suggest a picnic or something similar.
2007-02-14 05:34:32 · answer #4 · answered by TreesRGreen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you love someone...you want to do everything to make them happy. Is that what he is doing? You do what makes him happy, spending most of the time in his room alone. What does he do for you? Move on and find someone who will care about you and want to make Valentine's Day special for both of you!
2007-02-11 03:17:05 · answer #5 · answered by mermaiden 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So why are you going out with him if you are so mismatched?
Let him know that maybe you need a more compatible relationship maybe the thought of losing you will get him out of his shell a bit more, if not, and should he remains firm then maybe he is not the one. If it is a problem more deep seated that he may suffer from a social phobia then maybe you should ask him that he needs to help himself to bring himself out of it - at least for you as you cannot spend your life in his room.
2007-02-10 13:42:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know maybe your bf have a past memories on his past gf so why he don't like any more celebrating a valentine.Or maybe his past gf brake to him on the day of the valentine so why he don't like to recall it again?
Or maybe he want you to suprise on the valentines day?
Its up to you if you want to believe it any of the chooses.
2007-02-10 19:09:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is being honest, so acknowledge that.
I would suggest that you "take a break", so you can explore other options. You deserve a BF who wants to be with you and understands your needs.
2007-02-10 13:47:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask him to realise your feelings, tell him what you want out of the realtionship and ask him what he wants out of it, if he continues his ways then tell him you are considering leaving him as you feel you want different things, hope this helps xx
2007-02-10 13:44:18 · answer #9 · answered by Jenz90 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
drop him love- he dont care bout you- obviously- kuz any guy who trully loves you-- and wants to be with you- wouldve made ever attempt to make you happy- and celebrating valentines day- its a day to definately celebrate- he's no gud- plz- find someone who will do anything to make you happy :) ------- *hugs* happy -early- valentine's day *muah* lol :D
2007-02-10 13:47:36 · answer #10 · answered by SealedWithAKiss <3 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋