I was justified to do this, right?

Question

My ex and I have had major problems int he past couple of months and years. Most recently we are together b/c he was running around with another woman and he let her talk **** to me on the phone and she lied about being pregnant but I guess he likes liars b/c he stayed with her.
I don't want him back to let you know. I know he is a loser and if you see my other ?s you know why he is a loser.
Anyway, we just settled on the fact that he can't have my son visit him in VA b/c I do not want to travel there and he must come to my state to see our son and he agreed. He also agreed to child support and I will have this signed and notarized. But I also told him that my son will not be around this woman. and he agred.
Now why when he called to talk to him 2nite, he let that woman get on the phone and didn't ask me if he could? I hung the phone up on her. Now should a woman who wrecked a home be talking to my son? I don't think so!
That's not a part of the agreement never will.

You are missing the point, she first siad she was tired of hearing him talk about our son so much and I don't care about her but he needs to ask me if its ok to have her talk to him, he knew I would say no.

He is not staying wirth his father and his father has spent 8 years locked up in prison and our son is 9. He will not be with him, he also admitted he relapdsed on did drugs again in dec. He is on probation.

MY ex is an heroin addict trying to be a free man and he says he didn't want us in his chaos but he puts this roach on the phone w/o my permission. He has not paid support yet people. I have been handling this on my own for over 9 years and I will be damned if this dude that never gave a dime tries to run things.

Answer 1

Unfortunately you have ZERO control over who sees your son when your ex-husband has him. That is one of the most devastating parts of divorce, you lose the "partnership" in raising a child with morals and values and you have to let your baby go into a world without you. It sounds to me like your ex-husband doesn't put a lot of value on honesty, morals and values so I wouldn't expect a lot from him, meaning nothing he does or doesn't do should surprise you.
The one who will suffer most in this is your son. Try to put him first as much as you can from here on out. Imagine how he must feel right now to have his dad put so little importance on him as to move to another state to be with another woman. Spend a lot of time with your son and try not to date or bring any more chaos into his life. He should be your absolute number one priority from here on out. Good luck and I am so sorry that you find yourself in this seemingly impossible situation!

Answer 2

You are obviously young and naive as to how the law works. You can get things signed and notarized all you want, he will not be forced to pay child support until you have a judge order it. Also, when that happens, visitation will be set. There won't be any stipulations as to whether or not this woman can be around the child at all. Judges do not get into issues like that without due reason. What you stated about her is not reason enough to do this.

When the visitation is set, you will be forced to meet in the middle on travel. That is just the way it works. You sound very selfish. He must still allow you to walk all over him concerning the child. If I were the father, I would have already had your @ss in court on this matter. You do not have the right to just make rules concerning the child, and how the father sees him.

I can probably venture a guess as to why he left you.

Answer 3

I can understand how you feel about this other woman, she played a major role in breaking up your family, but most of the guilt has to be placed on your X. As for this other woman, if your X has visitation rights and I am sure he will if hes paying Child Support, unless you can prove him unfit. If your son goes to visit his father, hes gonna be around this other woman. Probably the best thing you can do and you may not be able to for awhile, until the anger and hurt passes, is try to get along with this other woman for the sake of your son. If you and she are at least on speaking terms, she is less likely to resent your son. She may even end up being his Step Mother some day... Think about it!! Good Luck

Answer 4

OK, then if that's not part of your agreement, he broke it. But what did you teach your son by hanging up on her? Would it have been better to take the phone, say "Give the phone to (ex)" and take it up with him? Then if she refused, tell her you were ending the conversation and hang up the phone. It just causes all this intense emotion around your son where his parents are concerned and he really should be the focus right now, don't you think? I mean, you say he is but your actions are somewhat immature and selfish. If you don't want him back then be calm, and if he breaks the rules confront him maturely. Show your son a better example than your ex.

Answer 5

that is in basic terms it, i do not flow round justifying something. i flow about my business enterprise searching ahead to to be commonplace and revered. I supply the note of that i choose given back to me, and quite i do not often have any problems with having it. for sure, I comprehend the actual shown actuality that i'm not wearing a doggy gown to the food market and humping rocks likely makes issues a touch a lot less complicated for me. L

Answer 6

don't scare your son by making a scene. Be the bigger person. Listen on the extension if you need to, just to make sure she's being appropriate with him. Then when your son hangs up, you can speak to her just to remind her that she's a no good filthy lying cheating homewrecking skanky azz vd infested flea ridden shopliftin marginally retarded heap of clap ridden dung. Then politely hang up the phone and revel in your good manners and the righteous example you have set for your child!

Answer 7

Since your ex is a druggie, you should get a lawyer and don't allow visitation until he cleans himself up. NEVER let your child be taken by a druggie to another State. Just get those psychos out of your life if possible.

Answer 8

I feel you completely! I would have done it for the point that is your child and your ex's not her's yes they are together and some point in time you will have to get used to her being there but the wounds are still fresh and you just need some time to get over it. You may be over him but there is still some history there and it takes time to get over that...

Answer 9

I agree with you on some areas. you said, your son shouldn't be around a home wrecker. honey your ex is a scum bag cheater and I dont think your son needs him as a role model either quite frankly. But it is his father and as Long as he wants to see the kid and the kid wants to see him i guess theres not much you can do. get a restraining order on her so she cant be anywhere near your son! I wouldn't talk to that ***** either! there is nothing between you and her and she should play NO part in raising your child! Explain that to him, tell him you dont care who he dates or screws around with but they have no place in your childs life!

Answer 10

Since his other woman talked disrespectfully to you on the phone, you are right to not let her around your son. Your husband should get a spine and at least defend the mother of his child.