Feeling real low, insecure about myself and my future. Any advice on how to get through these hard times....?

Answer 1

Try to evaluate your position in life: what are your opportunities, what are your priorities, and how many risks you are willing to take? Then do what you can. If you fail, at least you tried. If you half-succeed, then it's better than nothing. Take a day at a time. Don't try to make everything in one day. Every day should have its own mission that you set up to complete.

As for confidence--it usually follows with the rate of success in the rest of your life, such as economy, lovelife, social life, etc. It's always a good idea to build yourself a stable identity, or else you may succumb to any negative perception coming from other people.

Try to be as active as possible in order to distract yourself from yourself, but also take the time to think about you. If you can, do sports. It usually raises your confidence, as well as your well being. Or do some reading. Two classical novels that have tried to explain the meaning of hapiness is The History of Rasselas by Samuel Johnson and Candide or Optimism, by Voltaire. They are short stories, but can be very inspiring. Or do anything that you may hold interest in. Good luck!

Answer 2

It's hard; I feel for you..having been there many many times myself. I find it is helpful to remind yourself of several things:

1/ There is only one and can only ever be one YOU, and make it your goal to be the best YOU you can be; dont compare yourself to others ever, as they can never be as good at being you as you can be!
2/ Recognise that this feeling/feeings won't last; like everything else it will pass and you will see better days, and feel better about yourself.
3/ Learn something/ immerse yoursef in something that interests you and gets you into the 'flow'; could be poker, piano, a new language, a sport, anything!
... Meditation, yoga, stuff like that has definitely helped me in the past.
4/ While you are worrying and feeling insecure about yourself, reaise that people are too busy worrying about themseves to judge you. They are thinking about whether THEY measure up!
5/ The future...is uncertain, just try to enjoy stuff in the now, as the future will happen anyhow, and cant be fully planned. Take care of the 'now' (i.e.enjoy something now) and the future can only be improved as it is made by a continuous string of nows!

Hope this helps and you dont think it is a lecture! I have had severe problems with depression and still do from time to time, but I always know it will pass, and that alone gives me hope.
Hope is the promise of better things, no?

Oh, I just remembered something else...DONT THINK too much,EVER... it feeds the bad thoughts, and NEVER EVER helps! ....Did you know...YOU CAN NEVER THINK YOURSELF OUT OF A DEPRESSION,.... because it's a feeling, not a thought!...You have to change the feeling!
That is why people are told to do something that gets them away from thinking; also why meditation, yoga etc is good, but any physical activity works just as well!

Best of luck, many people go through this and your sensitivity is a strength, remember that too!

Answer 3

Forget about the things you don't have, and the things that are making you feel insecure, and focus on the things you do have.

People tend to get caught up in the "grass is always greener" way of thinking, and fail to recognize the things they have and take for granted.

Instead of feeling down on yourself for what ever reason, think about the things you have going for you.. be it great friends, family, hobbies ect. Even things as simple as having the ability to walk on our own, or able to see and hear. Can you imagine life without those abilities?

Things could always be tougher, and things can always be better. It's where you focus your energies that is most important.

Thinking negativlely will only add to your feelings of insecurity and fear of the future. Sometimes it's hard for people to not think this way. It's due to hormones. Sounds cheesy, but do a little physical exercize and your body will release the right hormones to help you feel better. From there keep smiling, and focusing on the positives.

Don't compare yourself to other people. Be greatful for the things you have and want to accomplish for yourself. Be who you are, and you'll gain the confidence you are looking for.

Answer 4

When you are in this frame of mind do anything you can to escape it. Ice cream. Hot bath. Stupid old black and white movies. Telephone a friend and talk until his ears turn red. Don't keep all those awful things going around in circles inside your head. Share the grief. Call your friend and say it. The more people you connect with (like on here) the easier it is to bear because you are letting go of it. You are not unique when you feel so terrible. News flash! We all go through it. You are in good company. It is called - Life. I wish I knew a close friend who knew everything about computers so I could keep my available free space on my C drive from filling up all the time, but that person has not yet stepped in off a cloud, so what to do? I do not upset myself further by ranting about the injustice of the world that I do not have a computer literate friend yet. I become patient realising that God already knows my frustration and is sending me someone even as I type this to you. Have some Faith, in other words. It is not just you. Everyone has these low points. Me, included. It is tremendously helpful to unload on someone. Sounds mean, doesn't it? But what is a friend for? A compassionate ear, is what. Let some of that awful unhappiness out where you and someone else can see it and talk about it instead of hugging it to your chest and being in turmoil. Drop the turmoil and go sit down. Put your feet up. Watch a Godzilla movie. Go to bed early. It is mid-winter. What does that tell you - you have the mid-winter blahs. On top of everything else. Feeling better yet? Go play the piano in the other room. Call your friend back and tell him what you forgot to tell him the first time that is the real reason you are so unhappy just now. Tell him you are tired of your wife. You are not doing either of you a favor by keeping it inside where it is driving you nuts. Get vocal. Jump up and down. Go for a walk. Connect with someone. Just reading this will help you because I am way over here in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. where it is very cold tonight. I am typing out my heart to you trying to get you to lighten up and realise we all feel shaky and like we are little tiny people in a little tiny boat in a great big ocean (sound familiar?) and that sometimes we get so low you could knock us over with a feather (sounding even more familiar?) See? We all go through this. The more you tell others about what is bothering you the quicker you will find your true friends and often they can put things into perspective so you don't have to keep lugging all this angst around with you like a big bag of rocks that is shafing your shoulder as well. There. Thank you for posting your question, and I hope I have helped you be a part of the human race enough so you can make some PG Tips tea and enjoy the rest of your evening now. Take good care and God Bless You!

Answer 5

I usually feel my lowest when I owe debts. Review your finances, see how you can save and pay off your bills. When you don't have the burden of debts, you will start to feel like you have options and are free. You can quit that crappy job, you can travel. You can't do those things if you get caught up in having a new car all the time or buying the latest gadget. Live under your means and you will be amazed at how much better you feel about yourself and your future.

Answer 6

Unfortunately when it comes to times like this, it's best not to shut yourself away but to talk to others about it. but make sure you find someone that is willing to listen and not twist the conversation around to themselves. this is your time to be selfish and do things that you make you feel better (without harming others), be it eating a lot, going for a run, or just watching some tv. saying that, try not to surround yourself with depressing situations. don't watch a program about death or debt, watch a comedy. if you feel fat, by low fat food and eat a load of that (my fave is skinny cow ice cream!). find something that you can do that you enjoy, a stress relief. it may not be the answer to all your problems and you may feel down when you are done, but remember for a short time you feel great and as you continue to do this you will hold these memories and boost your mood. trust me, from someone who suffers from cyclothymia for the past two years, these things have really helped me get out of my low moods.
And remember, the hard times are just stepping stones to the good times.

Answer 7

Keep your head up....get outside as much as possible, dress in the clothes that make you feel the best and treat your self to special treats like chocolate or a really good movie or what ever you think is special it doesn't have to be exspensive just something that makes you feel good...I have a rule not to fret over anything that will effect me six months down the road...if this problem is really big..talk to someone about it..you don't have to go through it alone...Be Blessed

Answer 8

Faith Go to a quiet place, close your eyes, get on your knees and pray. God will hear you, Let Go and Let God. I am NOT a religious freak. I have been where you are and then some...FAITH is the answer. Leave it to God and know that you will be OK. A shrink might not be out of the question, if you can't muster up the faith to know things will turn back around. As a last option, before you do anything crazy, there's some seriously effective prescription medication availabe also. Feel Better

Answer 9

I went through a really rough patch and I didn't know how to deal with my life. One day I decided that I needed to get out of the house and just get away from everything, be on my own. I started walking one day and just kept going. I did this regularly and eventually I was walking about 12 to 15km at a time and just thinking about things and clearing my head.

I think the change of scenery and seeing other people going about their daily business or just out walking around with other people or pets or whatever helped take my mind off things.

I know it sounds kind of dumb, but it really worked for me.

Answer 10

You could try seeing a personal coach; many of them are trained in therapeutic and other techniques that could help you to get out of this state and focus on personal achievement.

Look in the Yellow Pages or go on line, then ask for their details (qualifications, cost etc.). Some personal coaches are hypnotherapists as well. Make sure they are fully qualified before you get involved.