How can you tell when you are ready to date again?

Question

My b/f has been divorced for 4 years. He dated a woman before me for 3.5 years and they broke up and then I started dating him shortly after their break up. I thought they were probably a rebound but am I a rebound. When does this rebound thing end? If she was his rebound from the divorce and then he started dating me doesn't that mean he broke up with the rebound and started dating me after he recovered from the trauma of the divorce? Just trying to figure out this rebound thing?

Answer 1

I dont think 3.5 years is a rebound, may have started that way but it didnt stay that way. You could be rebound, only he knows for sure. Just take things really slow, if he is wanting you for rebound but you are taking things slow he will lose interest and leave.

Answer 2

One thing I've learned is that men work differently than women do when it comes to relationships (dating/breaking up, etc). You shouldnt think of yourself as a *rebound* or a *slumpbuster* or *transitional person*. Some people just go thru life never having NOT been in a relationship. You cannot waste time worrying about if you are a rebound or not-just be yourself and realize YOU hold the torch-afterall, he IS with you now, not them. Any concerns you have-you should have good open/honest communication with him about it. The very least he should do is hear you out-it takes 2 to make a relationship work.

Answer 3

Wow many of you feel she should go out and GIT-R-DUN?

This may sound crazy but when I got divorced from a 10 year marriage I waited 1 full year before I started dating.

Now if Ive dated for only a month or so, then yes move on within a few weeks to collect your thoughts especially if you were really into this person deeply. Sadly since we humans are emotional creatures we have the tendency to don't want to feel empty inside and alone with our feelings and fears and all to often move on. Even for the sake of just sex it still becomes a bad habit to practise moving from one conquest and failed to another without understanding the pain of true loss.

Pain belongs in our lives just as much as the pleasure. Don't ruin the purpose of our soul.

Let me include something here OK.... Now if your not having safe sex lets just say you have 6 months to a year to have an actual HIV, Herpes or aids outbreak can show up. And your last partner has been long gone. Do you want to chance spreading these terrible diseases over a little emotional alone time???

Answer 4

Dont worry your not a rebound the woman he dated prior to you was his rebound for the soul perpose that he needed to get his feelings back in the right place the last woman he dated has probably just to prove to himself he was ready to move on she was just not the one he wanted to have a relationship with. In this case of a divorce you should give him space and time to heal no matter how many years go by its a mark in someones life that will stay with them forever. Just be the woman that he didnt have be understanding loving and most important always keep the door to communication open.

Ms.NuNu

Answer 5

there is no way to tell if you are or if she was the rebound. just forget about it and have fun! rebound relationships can actually work in the long term. Rebound rel. is just a word guys use so they can have sex straight after breaking up with a girl and then they can dump the rebound guilt free.

Answer 6

Every person is different. I know it is SO cliche, but you will know. Some people are able to get out there right away, while for others, it takes months or even years.

I think many people start dating right away because of the rejection they feel. If they are dating, it makes them feel better because someone is interested in them and it makes them feel desirable. Especially if it's the person that was dumped.

Rebound usually happens with the first one you date after the break-up. The relationship usually doesn't last long, either. Again, it comes back to feeling rejected by the one you had a long term relationship with.

Answer 7

Rebound is a myth. Either he has issues to work out, or he doesn't. After a divorce, many issues must be worked through. He will go through girl friends until he confronts his issues from his failed relationship. There is no time limit or number of girls he has to go through before his relationships are better. He just needs to start the recovery process.

Answer 8

Your boyfriend doesn't seem to like being alone much. He seems to have to have someone there. That would concern me.
You can tell a person is still in rebound when they are still emotional about the person they split with. When they don't care, then they are ready to date. That's the long and short of it. Dating someone who is broken-hearted or angry is like being a band-aide. If you're okay with that role and willing to carry on with it, then go for it.

Answer 9

There is no such thing...it's a myth...dating someone is about finding things that you have in common, embracing them and using that to live your lives. You will know if the relationship isn't going anywhere...and you get do-overs so if it doesn't work, it was a life experience.

Answer 10

When you are completely over and past a break up.When your not dwelling over another person,or placing faults on someone your intrested in based on something you previously went through in a past relationship.