torn betwen two men. what should i do?

Question

I'm finding it hard to choose between two men. i left my husband a year ago, we went through ALOT of tough times. basically it broke down, cos when things get tough he gets angry, and i get like i need a hug. it eventually drove us apart. i was abused before, i like things to be calm and loving. for a year or so it wasn't like that at all.

I fell for my new man. totally and completely head over heals, and i've never loved anyone as much as him. he was my friend for 3 years first, and he makes me laugh so hard, he's sexy and loving. but he is a perfectionist, if we have kids and they misbehaved he would wack them with a belt. if i put on weight he'd get me running. sometimes he doesn't like the way i say or do little things.

with my husband even though we were different, he never told me how i should be. now he's trying not to get worked up about things so much, and i am starting to get feelings for him again. he wants to get divorced and then re-marry so we'd start fresh.

i just dont know what to do!!

Answer 1

Get the divorce, sometimes that really wakes up peoples feelings.Kinda like no strings again, and no pressure.

Answer 2

You gotta follow your heart on this one hun.
When u told the story, the new guy the "perfectionist" reminded me of the movie...."Look whos talking". lol How Kirstie imagined her little boys socks all in a row in the dresser when she went out with that one guy who found a spot on his fork and somethin in his water? lol I think that would be a miserable life myself.
However, i will say that I honestly believe ANYONE can change if they truly want to. Hubby sounds like he has a new outlook on life....especially the life with u.
To me, i am leanin towards the hubby. You will never be satisfied unless u give him another shot because he is where your heart is. U know it.
U dont have the feelings for the bf. Even though he is perfect in every way, u would have to go through life with a sort of paranoia if u gained a couple pounds over the holidays! Lets face it, nobody wants to nibble at a Christmas Dinner for crying out loud. You wanna dig in, and feel comfortable enough to do just that.
I pick the hubby hun. Sorry, but being comfortable far outweighs anything the bf has. Just my opinion.
I wish u luck in whatever u decide. Best wishes for a bright future...:)

Answer 3

Stand your ground. Assert yourself. Don't be a doormat. Find a man who is neither abusive nor perfectionistic. Find a nice man and move far away from these two. Stop talking to your ex. Ex'es are always lovely until you get back together awhile. Unless he has done things like go to counseling and taken anger management courses, he is still the same guy you left. What makes you think he's changed? It is easy to be nice to someone you don't live with.
As for Mr. Perfection/control freak, are you serious? These "nice" guys don't seem so nice from here.
Like the other answerer said: Take a break from men, get strong in who you are and what makes you happy, consider counseling, THEN meet the man of your dreams. Ditch these guys and save yourself the hassel. Best of luck.

Answer 4

You no what to do and you also no who the better man is for you .In case you don't stick with your husband you loved him once and sounds like you never really stopped loving him .It just got buried along the way like so many other marriages.I'm telling you do not marry your now boyfriend .He will turn on you just as soon as you get married.Your husband is at less trying and besides that you no your husband would never hit you and to remarry you is such a loving thing to do for you .That is his way of showing you just how much he loves you.It doesn't come much better then that.

Answer 5

ok, allow's attempt this; Prioritize what's maximum significant to you, and make sure out what's on the best of the list. Staying in united statesa.? protection? Being in love?? make a plan, and stick with it. The "being in love" element can dry up quickly once you have not any abode or monetary stability. the position do you want to be in 10 years, and what do you want to be doing? it really is time to advance up some. it really is time to be someone that you may note of and respect. take an outstanding seem interior the reflect and word that guy, then be that guy.

Answer 6

You need to live without MEN for a while!
Have you ever been on your own? If not, then TRY it!
You should see if some counseling would help your marriage, before you throw it away. Your new man seems like a shallow, controlling jerk------while your husband sounds like a man who truly loves you.
I advise you to live apart from your husband---but do NOT violate your marital promises.
See how you like that, and THEN make your decision.

Answer 7

Back away...quickly. Honey, to paraphrase a song, You're looking for love in all the wrong places. Do you really want someone who belittles you and may hurt your children? Be strong...keep telling yourself how great you are! You don't really LOVE the cad. It's lust! Physical love may be exciting and heart wrenching, but soul mates find warmth and kindness and support. I hope you find a NEW sexy soul mate who will treat you with respect. In the meantime, hold your head up and don''t ever let anyone keep you down. Life is too short to waste on losers!

Answer 8

Don't be crazy,dump those two. Start over this time look for someone that is Fun with No hang ups.....Don't let anyone run your LIFE. There are a lot more Lovers out there than Abusers.Face the Facts..

Answer 9

My opinion is to follow your heart,if you think this new man in your life will not work out in your feature,then I think you should leave him alone now,if you think you and your husband can work things out then I suggest you try to talk things out with your husband or you can just go solo,nothing wrong with that.

Answer 10

your husband doesn't seem to want you back and this other man seems like hed abuse your kids if you have any so id for get him and i would talk to your husband if he wants you then give it another chance if he don't divorce him and find a new man