If you found out you had a long lost brother who was adopted....?

Question

what kinds of things would you assume about him? Would you assume your personalities were similar? Do you think he'd be helpful to know? Would you want to meet him? If he was in danger, would you help him?

I am taking a class on moral reasoning / moral cognition - and this is something we've been discussing in a limited way. I'm curious about what people outside of the class think.

Answer 1

I think there is a very normal yearning to find and meet one's biological kin! No matter how successfully one grew up in an adoptive family, that yearning to see someone who looked like--or very much like yourself. We adopted our daughter as a baby and at 18 after high school, she asked me if I'd go with her to Berkeley where we adopted her, to look for her birth-mother. I said "Yes, of course" so we did. She looked at Berkeley High School year books as I knew her last name-which had been listed on the adoptive papers. Couldn't find any leads. Six years later, her birth-mother found her and asked her to come out to Berkeley to her and her family! She even sent a ticket for her, but my daughter wanted me to come with her! That's the last thing I wanted to do--I guess out of fear that I'd lose her. But she said, "MOM! You're my MOTHER! You've GOT to come with me!" I did and it turned out extremely well!! I can share lots more of the events--amazing similarities in some physical features AND even mannerisms, gestures and sense of humor!! They'd never spent even a minute together after birth! All genetic.

Answer 2

If I found out that I had a long lost brother who was adopted, I would want to meet him in person. I'd assume that we'd have some of the same traits, because of or genes. I've always wanted an older brother (instead I got stuck with two younger sisters). I think that I'd really like to get to know him, and share things with him and find out what his life was like in comparison to mine.

Answer 3

I would assume that we'd have some similarities (due to genetics) and some different outlooks (due to upbringing). I don't know if he'd be helpful to know, but I think I would like to meet him and get to know him. If he was in danger, I would help him- I would help anyone in danger if I could.
A friend of mine's mother discovered that she had a half-sister and the two families met- they truly enjoyed each other and were amazed at how similar they were in opinion, lifestyle and outlook.
I would hope that I oculd be accepting and understanding- blood is blood, after all, and calls to itself.

Answer 4

I rediscovered two brothers in 1986 not seen since 1956, and a sister in 1994 who only made contact so she could gleen medical history information, then broke it off.. One brother was in the United States Army and was about to be discharged for problems with his credit. He was loaned a large sum of money by me to assist with his money problems. 21 years later we don't speak or have any open relationship period. I have never seen dime one of the loan. Second brother took sides in the money mess with brother one, and we no longer have contact or any open relationship.
When I reestablished contact with these two in 1986, knowing what I know now, I would not have bothered to make contact.
My advise to anyone seeking contact with a sibling or siblings that you have not seen since childhood, let it go...no good will come from from it. It's not worth the bother, lost funds, or the spitful disregard of anothers feelings.

Answer 5

I would certainly want to meet him. I would not make assumptions regarding personality, because I have three brothers and we all have different personalities.

Answer 6

I'd wonder why my mom gave him up......I'd meet him if possible, let him know who I am , but you gotta be careful, he may not want to know the truth.....
Once a relationship was established , i would be there for him....unconditionally !