Do you put on a front when you are at work?

Question

Being a 'nice guy', I find I need to put on a bit of an act when I am at work. I pretend to be more assertive and direct than I actually am. People at work don't really see the real me.

I am interested to know if anyone else does this? Do you behave naturally at work?

Answer 1

According to Carl Jung, we all put on different masks, or facades, during the course of our lives. In fact this is not only normal, but it is also necessary.

As human beings, we all naturally fall into different roles in different social groups. This is where we get our different personas (which literally means person or personality).

What you must realize is that if you’re being more assertive and direct than you feel you "actually are" then there is a reason that you are behaving in this manner. It could be that your work persona is in fact that direct and assertive (is that such a bad thing?) or that you as a person would like to be more direct and assertive in other areas of your life and find work to be any easy avenue to release these desires.

Either way, don't sweat it. Just try to understand yourself and where these different actions and impulses are coming from. Often times our motives can be found not only in our subconscious (completely unknown) but in our preconscious as well (not currently aware but ready to be called to conscious thought).

Check out Dr. Boeree's web page on Jung and his personality theory, it'll shed some more light on the different masks we where as people and the important purposes they serve.

Answer 2

No, work is a more formal environment so you have to try to act "professionally". Some of the people I see as clients I would just as soon tell them to go home because they're not suited for what they're trying to do, but I can't do that so I just wait until they figure out the same thing. Does acting more assertively at work work for you? Why don't you try it the other way for a while and see what happens? Then you will know.

Answer 3

It's not so much that I put on an act but I definitely have a different demeanor at work. I like the structure of being at work, because at home if I can get away with not doing something I won't do it. At work things have to be done and people organised. You have to do what works for everyone to get along and get the work done. You just adapt to what works in a given situation. I wouldn't tell lies or make claims I didn't believe were true though. At home I'm mum and wife so its a different, more relaxed atmosphere.

Answer 4

Of course I do, who doesn't? Work is work, it is not my social life, I'm there to provide a service and make MONEY. At work I am pleasant, and pretend to be interested in my co-workers lives. You don't know who you will need on your-side to move up the ladder. That may seem shallow, but money is money, and I got bills to pay. Outside of work, I have dark, and perverse side, if I brought that into the work place i wouldn't have a job for very long,

Answer 5

I've been both, but usually a front helps to make the office run smoothly and efficiently. If everyone acted like they normally did at home, there would be more conflict.

Answer 6

Sadly, I think it is best to put on a front at work.

I worked for the state for 32 years. Most as a "consultant" who was sent in to other agencies to resolve problems. They could either ask for our help - or the Governor sent my agency in to fix problems before they made it to the news reporters.

Our supervisors (I was one for 5+ years), didn't get to be a supervisor unless we were good at reading people - by personality types. What makes them tick? How to manipulate them?

When I first went there, I thought my 1st manager was a real back-stabbing, lying, butt-hole. I was right. But he taught me a lot. Looking back, he was the nicest of all the managers. After he left, things got a lot worse.

Say you had a lot of confidence. And he (Don) had a difficult project coming up. He would confide (you thought) to just you. Don wasn't sure if we should take the assignment. You would say something like "I could run it."

BAM! You just swallowed the fish hook. Don really thought the project was a bad assignment. And his other supervisors - who were more experienced than you - had all said they didn't want to take the assignment. Don would make you feel like he was doing you a personal favor by letting you lead the asssignment. But really, you were helping him out. Don might even say something like "well with your experience, I didn't think you should take on an assignement like this. It might be too hard for you." You would feel insulted! You were going to prove to Don that you could do the work. So you begged him for the assignment.

After Don left, we had to work with other Managers (Larry, Dale, Toby). The stuff they pulled made Don look like a Saint.

I would be called into a meeting and told I should give an employee (say Carol) a hard time. And that I should set Carol up. We developed computer applications. I would be told to take Carol - who knew the programming language "XX" and put her on an assignment using programming language "GG" and to work her a** off until she resigned. If one of my staff had experience using XX would take 40 hours to write a program, I was told to give Carol only 20 hours. Make her work nights and weekends to get the work done. If she didn't I was to write her up for not being able to do her job. I was told to make sure none of the employees who knew the language helped her write her programs. The reason for all this ? Carol would not have sex with one of the Managers. The Managers were all married. And Carol was married.

I refused.

Was told my problem was that I needed to relax. That I should go out at lunch with a female employee, have a few drinks, relax, have a good time, and bill the time to my customer.

I refused. I was married.

Next day, Ann came in and asked me to lunch. Said NO.

Next, Linda came in and asked me to lunch. No.

A couple of days later, the Deputy Director's secretary (we called her his sexatary) came and asked me. No (She too was married).

My Manager called me in and told me I had pissed off the entire female staff (that I must think I was too good to party wth them)

When I was walking back from the customer one day, someone whistled at me. I looked around - no one was on the street.

Started walking again - again got whistled at.

Saw the sexatary in a parked car. Went over to say hello. She told me the Deputy Director was in the liquor store getting them something to drink and then they were going to her house to relax. That it could have been me. And then she rolled the window up.

I guess they had to go at luch to avoid her husband.

Eventually all the Managers said I was not being a "team player". I was only given the most difficult assignments. I finally found a job someplace else and resigned.

Answer 7

I cant behave naturally at work im always too nervous! naturally i am quiet and hardly noticed, but in work because im nervous, i babble on about absolutely nothing! its got me into trouble a few times!

Answer 8

I work in a mad house. The humour in our office is brutal, you think someone has reached the basement with a joke and then someone goes one level down. It is kill or be killed. Away from work I am really quite quiet, but self preservation has forced me to be more forceful. Still it has helped in my life away from work, so it can`t be all bad.

Answer 9

i work in a high school,of course i put on a front. they really don't need to know i behave worse than the kids.

Answer 10

I think it would be hard to NOT find a person that does not put up some kind of front at work/school/whatever.