Ive been with my on again off again b/f for 5 years and i want to get married but he doesnt see a need to. Right now were off again because off course he wont marry me. Says he will be with me but doesnt ever want to get married. I want to leave him alone but cant because he has a father like relationship with my daughter. Been in her life since birth. So should I be satisfied with out marriage?
2007-02-10 10:44:16 · 18 answers · asked by lovelyladycd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no make him fess-up, or cut off the booty, he'll come around.
2007-02-10 10:49:30 · answer #1 · answered by DASH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel about wanting to get married! At some point in a woman's life... you do feel the need to marry and recieve that committment. The best advice I could give you is...
*Don't try to push him into marriage, because that will make him push away from you.
You have to be patient... soon enough he will come around (ON HIS OWN). Besides, you don't want to get married to a man, who isn't even ready. (You'll end up getting divorced; FAST)
But if deep down inside you want to get married, find someone who feels the same. You don't want to waste another 5 years of disappointment.
Good Luck
2007-02-10 19:20:18 · answer #2 · answered by CUTIE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, how do women get themselves into these circumstances? Why would anyone buy the bread if they're already eating it? You sound like a weak person, what's this off again and on again nonsense. What kind of example are you going to be to your child, don't you have a backbone? Sounds like the problem is with you, make up your mind and stick to it.
2007-02-10 23:38:35 · answer #3 · answered by Lonely Bàstard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have wanted marriage for five years WHY do you keep a relationship with a man who OBVIOUSLY doesn't want to get married? So now YOU don't want to break the "father daughter bond" between your child and him because YOU don't have the backbone to leave? Don't put the blame for this on your daughter, it's not her fault you keep yourself tied to this man.
2007-02-10 20:42:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want marriage with him you can hang it up. He's been so use to being with you without getting married he probably feel like why should he. If he has told you that apparently he doesn't feel the way you do. I believe the saying you can love someone without being in love with them and that may be your case. He doesn't have to be with you to still be in your daughters' life. You have to decide what you want and what you feel is better for you and your daughter. Never settle for anything less than what you feel you deserve.
2007-02-10 19:03:48 · answer #5 · answered by Monique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he is never going to marry you and if you want marriage someday then dump him as he is a dead end to you. He is not wanting commitment and that is not a good sign. You can leave him and still let your daughter see him at times and do things with him. You guys can still be friends but no more then that. I hope you will find a man someday who will want to marry and raise your daughter as his own.
2007-02-10 18:57:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush things, but at the same time he needs to step up to the plate and if you really want to marry him you guys should take some serious time off To decide if you really can't live without each other. There may be some one better for you anyway. Good luck though
2007-02-10 18:51:00 · answer #7 · answered by chekayao 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can know if you would be satisfied without marriage. If marriage is important to you... write down the reasons WHY it is important... and share that with him.... it may or may not change his mind. I admire him for being straightforward with you... he has stated his intentions. Men are fairly simple... and if he has stated it, take him seriously. He obviously wants to be with you despite your demands for marriage and your lack of belief in his feelings towards marriage.
If marriage is more important to you than the relationship he has with you and your daughter, then be honest with him. You'll never move on to someone who DOES want to marry you as long as he is in your life.... so let him go. You know how he feels.
But, if you decide that marriage isn't as important as having a loving, trustworthy, decent guy who loves your child... then let that idea go and enjoy the relationship... for as long as it lasts.
I am not going to bring religion into this... that is a personal value system.... you can chose to apply religious principles to this issue if you like..... but ultimately, you have to decide for yourself what marriage means to you and what this relationship means... and if marriage is indeed your goal... then move on. This guy isn't going to help you get to your goal.
2007-02-10 18:51:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he is clear. He spoke to you in a straightforward manner and, by staying with him, you have to accept the fact that you may not get married, ever. If you don't like this, get away quickly.
He isn't fooling around or lying to you. He just wants something else. Love him or leave him, but at least respect the fact that he speaks his mind.
2007-02-10 18:56:15 · answer #9 · answered by Pepinos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he says he's never going to get married. Seems pretty clear that it isn't just a case of ot being ready. If marriage is very important to you, than maybe you should move on.
2007-02-10 18:50:10 · answer #10 · answered by learning_to_live_616 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no need for him to commit to you if he's getting everything he wants with no commitment
You deserve better. can you trust God to give you better or change your man's heart?
If you cut him off, he's either gonna have smoke coming outta his ears and pony up with the ring, or he's gonna forget you, and if he does, he was not the man for you.
tough to go it alone, but maybe, just maybe it's the right way to go.
blessings,
frankie chocolate
2007-02-10 18:50:45 · answer #11 · answered by frankiechocolate 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋