What are some favorite quotes you like to post on your profile?

Question

facebook profile/myspace, whuteva

i prefer ones that mostly anyone who knows me can get, and I love humor

Answer 1

Here are some of my favorite quotes from different sources but mostly the little “Quotation Dictionary” that I always have handy. I typed about half of them (my book has 320 pages…) into Microsoft Word (where I can get some accents if needed) and Copy/Paste them into Yahoo! Answers. I may get around to do the other half before your question expires…

Some are funny, some are deep, some are both…at least I hope, but all are for your enjoyment. Some made it on index cards on my bathroom walls so when I look around, I can absorb the wisdom of great women and men.
I wish I could come up with one thing to say on my own one day, something like “the more you know others, the less you know yourself” or “you can catch a mouse with a cat but you cannot catch a cat with a mouse” whatever any of those would mean…

I apologize in advance about the space I’m gonna take, forcing some people to scroll up or down desperately in order to get out of my answer because they do not care to read it (their loss…). I wish I could just provide a link but there’s none.

Here it goes:


The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.
Jean de la Bruyère

The most profound joy has more of gravity than of gaiety in it.
Michel de Montaigne

The mind is like the stomach. It is not how much you put into it that counts, but how much it digests.
Albert Jay Nock

God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.
Jewish Proverb

Patience and time do more than strength or passion.
Jean de la Fontaine

Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
Dale Carnegie

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts.
Orson Welles

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Oscar Wilde

Don’t tell me that worry doesn’t do any good. I know better. The things I worry about don’t happen.
Anonymous

He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has.
Henry Ward Beecher

Youth is a wonderful thing: what a crime to waste it on children.
George Bernard Shaw

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does.
Steuart H. Britt

The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.
Chinese Proverb

The people who make art their business are mostly imposters.
Pablo Picasso

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
Ed Howe

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
H. L. Mencken

A human body is an ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
Christopher Morley

Hasten slowly.
Augustus Caesar

Every man has three characters: that which he exhibits, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has.
Alphonse Karr

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.
William James

The church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back.
Charles deGaulle

Common sense is very uncommon.
Horace Greeley

When a man makes a woman his wife, it’s the highest compliment he can pay her, and it’s usually the last.
Helen Rowland

To confess a fault freely is the next thing to being innocent of it.
Publilius Syrus

Courage is grace under pressure.
Ernest Hemingway

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
Anonymous

We believe at once in evil, we only believe in good upon reflection. Is this not sad?
Madame Dorothée Deluzy

We don’t seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business.
Will Rogers

To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Elbert Hubbard

Never spend your money before you have it.
Thomas Jefferson

All human activity is prompted by desire.
Bertrand Russell

One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.
French Proverb

All celebrated people lose dignity on a close view.
Napoleon Bonaparte

Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.
Maurice Seitter

He that has learned to obey will know how to command.
Solon

I have never been hurt by anything I didn’t say.
Calvin Coolidge

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.
H. L. Mencken

Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom.
George Iles

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
Charles William Dement

Beauty when most unclothed is clothed best.
Phineas Fletcher

I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Fanny Fern

When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.
Richard Amour

He who will not economize will have to agonize.
Confucius

You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.
Elbert Hubbard

Education is a progressive discovery of our ignorance.
Will Durant

He who opens a school door, closes a prison.
Victor Hugo

The only people who never fail are those who never try.
Ilka Chase

Many a man never fails because he never tries.
Norman MacEwan (by the way, does anybody know who is or was Norman MacEwan?)

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.
John Ciardi

The employer generally gets the employees he deserves.
Walter Gilbey

Man is his own worst enemy.
Cicero

The only real equality is in the cemetery.
German Proverb

An error doesn’t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.
Orlando A. Battista

It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
H. L. Mencken

All modern men are descended from a worm-like creature, but it shows more on some people.
Will Cuppy

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.
Vernon Sanders Law

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Mark Twain

We have not lost faith, but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession.
George Bernard Shaw

Nothing is wonderful when you get used to it.
Ed Howe

Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.
Ed Howe

Fashion is the science of appearances, and it inspires one with the desire to seem rather than to be.
Edwin Hubbel Chapin

To find a fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.
Plutarch

We confess small faults, in order to insinuate that we have no great ones.
François de La Rochefoucault

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
Marie Curie

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren’t.
Sacha Guitry

It is better to be faithful than famous.
Theodore Roosevelt

Let us be thankful for the fools; but for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Mark Twain

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Josh Billings

No man is free who is not a master of himself.
Epictetus

I disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it.
Voltaire

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have these three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience and the prudence never to practice either of them.
Mark Twain

The only way to have a friend is to be one.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Wilson Mizner

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
Albert Einstein

Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.
Kahlil Gibran

Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
Benjamin Franklin

Glutton: one who digs his grave with his teeth.
French Proverb

In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.
Benjamin Franklin

One should eat to live, not live to eat.
Benjamin Franklin

If God did not exist it would be necessary to invent Him.
Voltaire

If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion.
Goncourt

The best way to love God is to love many things.
Vincent van Gogh

Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
Walter Winchel

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
James Reston

Gratitude is a duty which ought to be paid, but which none have a right to expect.
Jean Jacques Rousseau

There is no fire like passion, there is no shark like hatred, there is no snare like folly, there is no torrent like greed.
Buddha

Answer 2

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. Douglas Adams Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. Douglas Adams The world always seems brighter when you've just made something that wasn't there before. Neil Gaiman Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Terry Pratchett Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages. Terry Pratchett The only certainty is that nothing is certain. Pliny The Elder I'm just looking for an angel with a broken wing. Jimmy Page To be what you want to be, you must give up being what you are. Cat Stevens "We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe." -Johann von Goethe As long as I know my head's in the right place, my feet are on the ground, I think I'll be fine. Jack Osbourne "I can honestly say, all the bad things that ever happened to me were directly, directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I mean, I would never urinate at the Alamo at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress sober." (Ozzy Osbourne, MTV News Online, 1992)

Answer 3

Can you hide the Oak Tree in a Flower vase?
Do not answer a fool according to his folly
or your will be like him yourself !
Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control

select the best from the above taken from Bible.

Answer 4

personally I like Rocky Horror Picture Show ones

Answer 5

The key to immortality... Is first living a life worth remembering. - Bruce Lee

Old favors are soon forgotten. - Elaine Cunningham

It takes a big person to admit that they're wrong... It takes a bigger person to accept responsibility. - LastManDancing.

Answer 6

The one I try to live by:

"Whatever You Are, Be A Good One." Abraham Lincoln

Answer 7

I don't post any. I like a low profile and like to say I am nobody special.

Answer 8

the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese

Answer 9

"Trust God or die!"
"God can use the jawbone of an ***!" -Winkey Pratney

"God is not a cosmic kill-joy!" - Al McBryan

"To the degree you are a mirror, you are disposable." -Dr. Henry Cloud

Answer 10

"if people are going to like me there just going to have to like me with my glasses on" buddy holly
"we intrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating" monty pythons flying circus