Ok wife and I are going thru rough times I love her and want her back she moved out a week ago, yet we are going to go to counceling weekly and have a dinner date once a week. She asked me for sex a couple nights ago she said "no love making just bend me over and f me hard" I did something i never did i turned her down. She asked again the next night after we went to counceling for first time and I could not resist so I did her good. Will continuing to give her sex weekly while we are apart make her want me back more or less? should I say no, but I am afraid she will seek it elsewheres if I don't give it to her and don't want more issues in our problems we already have. What do I do??? should just have sex with her when she wants? I really want to work out issues out and have her back with me I love her so much!
2007-02-10 09:41:32 · 14 answers · asked by Sorry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ummmmmmmmmmmmm... that is a pickle. Explain to her how you feel.. Tell her that you are trying to work on your marriage and you feel that she is concentrating on the wrong thing. Granted you love having sex with her but you feel there are so many other things that you guys have to straighten out or you wood not be in counseling. Right now she feels liberated because she is not living with you, but she does not want to cheat so she is using this time as if she is single. I think she is trying to rekindle the flame that you two used to have... But if there is something bothering you be honest about it and see what she says. good luck man... glad to see that a man is fighting for his marriage...
2007-02-10 09:48:28 · answer #1 · answered by Shonda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm.... Sounds like a test. To see if she has control over your sexuality.
I think she's playing with your heart. Perhaps, tell her that you guys are going through emotional relationship problems right now and you don't know if it's such a good idea to do this until you get things settled. Say that you don't want to get hurt and that having sex is hurting you because there are so such uncertainty and unresolved issues.
If you do what she wants, then she might no respect you as an individual. She might eventually go somewhere else anyways if not already.
Or perhaps she just has a high libido and still needs it regardless of the emotional crazyiness, perhaps that's why she doesn't want you to make love to her.
Best thing to do is to talk to her. Ask her if she still cares for you and perhaps confront her with your differences. Good luck.
2007-02-11 02:55:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you withholding sex to punish her or because you really don't feel like it?
Sex shouldn't be used as a tool or a weapon in a relationship, but commonly it is. Withholding of it, or promising it for various reasons is wrong.
You have to get to the bottom of why you don't want to? Are you just hurt and angry right now and not feeling sexual towards her (understandable from what you say you are going through). Or are you just pissed and this is some control or leverage you have over her?
Figure that out and you have the answer to what you should do.
2007-02-10 18:22:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is great. But you need to reestablish your relationship with your wife. It's very good that both of you are going to counseling trying to resolve the problems that both of you are experiencing. You need to rekindle the spark in the relationship, take her to her favorite restaurant or to the beach. Go back to your old make out spot. Take a long walk on the beach. Rent a DVD Movie that both of you enjoyed. Have fun again and instead of just having sex, maybe you and your wife can start making love again.
"Take care and good luck to you and your wife."
2007-02-10 17:56:42 · answer #4 · answered by angels 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why not you never know if things will work out. Did you do her good when she was living with you. Maybe thats the problem. Sometimes its good to put all the feelings aside and just get into some down and dirty sex. Go for it and enjoy the moment.
2007-02-10 18:56:28 · answer #5 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not the answer. And if your going to do thing like you are married and still together, then why be apart? If she goes else where, then is sad as it is...it wasnt meant to be. You cant hold no one down. Sex should never be that serious, so if she cant live with out it and respect you for what you say when you say no, then it wasnt meant to be.
2007-02-10 17:50:24 · answer #6 · answered by BE HAPPY! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not have sex with her during this time. This is a bad time and do not do it. If it is only for sex and no love involved then do not do it. Keep working on your marriage and take things slow. If she goes and looks elsewhere this is not fault of yours anyway as you are not living together anymore.
2007-02-10 17:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you guys seem to be getting along and you guys are still having sex i don't see a problem as why you guys broke up in the first place.
2007-02-10 18:00:57 · answer #8 · answered by Momof1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... I think it might help your relationship. Keep doing her good. I think it's a good sign you both are staying within the relationship, rather than looking for someone outside the relationship.
Have you considered asking her to go away with you for the weekend? Have a mini honeymoon?
2007-02-10 17:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by *Just Married* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know, but sex is supposedly the last thing to go.
One thought: If she's getting it good from you, chances are, she's not getting it elsewhere.
2007-02-10 17:44:55 · answer #10 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋