I'm married and pregnant with another man?

Question

I have been married for 6 years, and I think I'm pregnant with another man whom recently I met. I had being faithful untill I met him.
My husband, he had being abusing me for years of the beginning of our relationship, I'm from Japan and I didn't know I could call the police then, I thought I have to change him for his sake, to be better person. Someday, I couldn't even go out, because I had all the ugly scars.
I was being patient and made him go to see the counseler for his problems and supported him. It took forever, but now, he has totally changed and have better job and treats me like I'm a princess. But the problem now is, I feel that I'm done with him.
I met this another man and I'm afraid that I'm pregnant with him, but at the same time, I think that maybe, it is a chance to divorce. But, the another man is a busy professor, he is 20 years older than me and tells me to divorce, but I haven't told him about the pregnancy and I don't want hurt my husband. I'm in the mess.

Answer 1

wow girl...don't tell your husband about the baby...he might go back into the abusive rage he was in before. i'm not going to lecture you about how wrong you are for this but if you don't feel the same about your husband you should get out. it sounds like you don't respect him and that is completely understandable with everything he put you through. you should leave for the baby's sake.
good luck and congrats on the baby...i think

Answer 2

File for a divorce from your abusive husband. Get out now and dont look back. Leave him now and start to move on with your life. You should not have to stay with an abusive husband. Once the divorce is final then move on with the father of the new baby on the way. Go to http://www.drphil.com and email him and ask him for help and advice and see what can be done to help you here. Is there an abuse hotline you can contact over there in Japan? If so then call it and get help now! The abuse hotline here in the states is 1-800-799-7233

Answer 3

Yes you are and even bigger than you realize...now it is not just you he can abuse but a little baby due to be born...I understand that he went to counseling and is doing better but do you not think this will tip his emotional state with the knowledge you, his wife, have not only cheated on him but are also pregnant and possibly not even with his baby? And even if you didn't tell him now that the baby might not be his, what if a year or 2 down the road he finds out and before you can leave he hurts the baby out of anger? You need to leave now. If you find the other man is the father of your child then decide if you want to be together after your divorce. Being pregnant you have to do what is best for the unborn child and his/her safety

Answer 4

I agree with a couple of people on here. Abuse does not warrant adultery. If you didn't know what you could do back then, why is it that you know now? Anyhow. Do not tell your husband about the pregnancy. If you must divorce, leave first, then file for divorce. He might resort back to his old ways if you confront him in person. Don't ever forget that is against the law here in America to hit your spouse. Call the police every time, no exceptions. Please do the right thing. Talk to your professor about your pregnancy. Tell him the whole story. I wish you luck.

Answer 5

First of all you need to know for sure where you are at with your husband. Do you want to stay with him or not. Because that is going to determine whether you need to tell your husband or not. If you plan on staying with him you better consider all your options before you come at him. Because it is already established that he don't mind jumping on you and you definitely don't want to set yourself up for a lifetime of abuse or worst death. Because he is either going to be mad as hell or very understanding. You are the only one who knows best how he is going to handle this. And depending how much love you got for the prof. You need to at least keep it real with him. You said he wants you to get a divorce. He might be happy. You have to take in consideration his age and this may be an open door for a new life for you. Se definitely tell him but be careful with your husband. And remember this you got the right to do whatever is best for you and your situation because after all you are the mother of the child. You make the ultimate decision

Answer 6

You wanted to help him because you care about him. Just because you dont want to be with him does not mean you do not care. You deserve a new beginning. And who knows how long your husband will be good. I say leave. But do not move right in with the other man. Take some time. About the baby, be happy all the abuse never damaged that possibility. It is a blessing.

Answer 7

If you are done with someone then end it. But I do have a question for you. Why do you need to have another man in your life befor you think you have a chance to divorce him? If you divorce do it for yourself, not for mr.profguy. You owe that to yourself. You have a hughe problem and still your whole post tells more about all the others in your life then about you and what you feel. So what about what you feel and think about it?
Start listening to your own feelings and make a decission that is good for you.

(sorry for getting all Oprah on you)

Answer 8

It seems like you are claiming that your husband beat you and that you are a battered spouse. Yet your talking about divorce and leaving him like its no problem and you don't want to hurt him. Most women who were beat are too scared to leave or get into another relationship. It sounds to me like your taking a shove from 5 years ago and using it to rationalize your adultery. If your husband really is as abusive as you say you and the professor have your lives to worry about before you worry about this little stuff.

Answer 9

Yes, you are in a mess! You need to decide which man you want to be with! There's a test you can have the doctor do that will determine which man is the father of your child. I suggest you get the test done before making any life-altering decisions. Which ever man you decide to be with, you need to be faithful to him and not get yourself into another mess like the one you're in now!

Answer 10

You'll have to either leave or tell him, he'll figure it out eventually. He'll be hurt no doubt, but it's something he has the right to know. If you want a divorce, then divorce. You made the choice to sleep with the other man, so you'll have to make some sacrifices.