Please, please give me serious answers here. I'm going through a really bad time ok. My boyfriend of 4 years is very sexual. Over the past 6 months or so he has been very verbally abusive about everything. The more he screams at me, the more I don't want to have sex or get close to him on any level. The past couple of months he has desided to hit or kick me when he is screaming at me over not having sex with him. I think to myself that if he loved me on an adult level then he would try to repair things between us thats causing that level of distance between us however he only gets worse because I'm not giving him myself sexually. I don't think I could even force myself to have sex with him because it would feel like rape to me. Is this exceptable for him to be treating me horrible because I'm not putting out, or is this abnormal behavior for a real man? I know I need I probably need to get far away from him however it's hard to do during the middle of a very important semester.
2007-02-10 08:48:43 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I am sorry to hear about your dilemma.
No person has the right to be verbally or physically abusive. And you are not wrong to have lost a desire to have a sexual relation with this man even if he was your boyfriend for 4 years.
The only cure, the only recommendation is something you already realized and wrote, "You must LEAVE this persone before he hurts you." This is an illness that is difficult for people to overcome. I know you are busy in your semester but you have got to leave this relationship and get out of his sight forever.
Go rent "Sleeping with the Enemy" if you have any doubts or need a glimpse of the future.
http://www.ndvh.org/ (National Domestic Abuse hotline)
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
My thoughts are with you.
2007-02-10 08:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by KingGeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not married to him, and he gets abusive with you, because you won't consent to him is entirely wrong on his part. If there is no engagement between the two of you and even if there were, move on to another man. You will know when you want to consent to him. There has to be that special attraction to do it. I mean the compassion, the caring along with the physical attraction. It would be best to find out if he would marry you and wait for a diamond from him to show his love for you, other than with just words and materialistic things. And why spoil the honeymoon? Isn't that what honeymoons are for? Don't get involved with someone who physically abuses you. It will get worse later.
2007-02-10 09:04:16 · answer #2 · answered by Yafooey! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK you need to get as far away as possible from this crazy man. It does not matter if you are in a middle of "important semester" or crap like that. Bottom line is when you are in a relationship and you are being abused its a sign to get out of, and i mean any kind of abuse mental or physical.
2007-02-10 08:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by Decoder333 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong. Sex is something very intimate and if the back of your mind is filled with negativity it will never feel like a good time to have it. Hang on until the semester is over and then cut loose! With someone else, of course
2007-02-10 08:52:51 · answer #4 · answered by Viviana 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, seriously, your boyfriends sounds like a pompous ***. Anyways...try talking to him in a calm matter...honestly is always the best policy. Tell him how he makes you feel and explain to him why he needs to treat you with respect in order to get it in return. Sex should be something that comes from Love and passion not force and unwillingness. Try talking first and if that doesn't work, leave him and find someone who appreciates you for you and someone who makes you want to have sex. Because sex should be something you want all the time if your in love. Trust me on this one!
2007-02-10 08:54:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of this worm and don't ever have sex before you're married with anyone, that is, if you want a sane life.
I think that you really need to have a tough male family member or two go over there and tell him that if he ever comes within 20 feet you again ever, that he'll be sorry he was ever born. There was a time when this would have happened, I assure you.
Do get the police involved if you can, but you never should have gotten involved with him.
2007-02-10 08:52:15 · answer #6 · answered by Joseph C 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like the man has issues - serious issues - and you would do well to leave him.
Regardless of your semester or anything else actually.
Your physical well being is far more important.
A relationship with no respect is no relationship at all - and you can't physically abuse someone and respect them, no matter how much you fool yourself into thinking so.
Oh, and by the way, I don't blame you for not wanting to do it with him, he sounds like a jerk.
2007-02-10 08:54:12 · answer #7 · answered by HP 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not a mature adult - he's a jerk. His behavior says that he doesn't care a bit about you, only getting his rocks off. Tell him that his behavior makes it impossible for you to feel even remotely sexual, and if he cares, he needs to be more supportive.
But in the long run, it's time to get away from him. Break it off, and move on.
2007-02-10 08:55:15 · answer #8 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is getting physically abusive, you need to get out now. It's only going to get worse and worse. This is not normal behavior at all. Haven't you ever watched any of those shows like Oprah, where they tell the stories of how men have killed their women??? You need to get out of this relationship fast, before something terrible happens. Good luck to you.
2007-02-10 09:31:29 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ Zoey ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend shouldnt be hitting you or kicking you, or abusing you with his words. Get out, and find a new man because he isnt a real man.
Why would you want to have sex with a man who is abusing you physically, and metally anyways.
You deserve so much better
2007-02-10 08:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by chicata25 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋