My ex and I for the most part behave amicably toward each other. But he still slacks off with visitation.
When he does come...(2x in last two years) I have made a nice dinner and let him have time with our daughter while I cleaned up.
No problems, very smooth. And I never give him a hard time.
He sent something for her birthday and xmas in 2004 and 2005. But then nothing this past year. It really hurts my daughters feelings that he didnt send anything. As i guess she got used to it for a couple years. I try not to say anything bad about him in front of her. She spent hours making a scrap book for him and copying photos. And he hasn't even bothered to pick it up.
He is 33 years old and says he has changed and grown up, but he is the same idiot as ever.
Is there anything that I can do to help him realize the damage he is causing our child? How can I encourage him to be responsible and use his visitation? Is he just a hopeless ***? Why are we always last in line?
2007-02-10 08:32:08 · 4 answers · asked by Esperenza 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most deadbeat dads just don't know what they are missing!
Until later in life when they are lonely and nobody wants to have anything to do with them.
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2007-02-11 07:13:55 · answer #1 · answered by Dave Yours Truly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I know what he is going through, as long as he pays for the child support he feels his obligation is fulfilled. The 2 hardest things in my life were watching my kid grow up with out me, and the death of my third wife a year ago. It is very painful too painful so I just used to avoided my visitation rights. No matter what she said I just made up more excuses to stay away.
Now my kid is a young man and we get along great, I just stay away from My first wife cause we are both now single for the first time since we got the big D. and she is still so freaking hot.
2007-02-11 16:45:41 · answer #2 · answered by Mijoecha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is never easy especially when kids are involved. It is hard to say why your ex acts the way he does he could just not care or he could be a inconsiderate *** or he could honestly feel your daughters better off without him. You said you get along amicably so I would contact him and set him down face to face and talk. Tell him how his behavior is hurting your daughter and ask him what the problem is. Then I would tell him that he needs to explain to your daughter his behavior and what he plans to do with it. If he refuses to talk or slacks off then try getting a mutual friend or one of his family members that you get along with to talk to him. He owes it to your daughter and it sounds like you are trying to be a great Mom to her. Keep doing what you are and tell your daughter that you are sorry and understand it upsets her but her Dad is the only one who can and should explain his actions. Good Luck
2007-02-10 21:09:21 · answer #3 · answered by buffybot67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is one thing that a lot of us mothers want to know it really has nothing to do with the divorce it is for the sake of the children. the fathers then wonder why the child wants nothing to with them when they get older. I personally think that some men don't have the means mentally to care for a child. I know the thought that you have about them not using their visitation to but then down the road it will be that we mothers did not want them to see the child it is an endless battle.
I am going through the same thing so I know what you feel but I don't know how well I answered your question but some time it is nice to just know that your not the only one going through it!!!
2007-02-10 23:14:20 · answer #4 · answered by Robin t 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋