i live with a peculiar problem - i lost both my parents immediately after birth and bought up by an far related uncle. i owe everything to him. he is a widower and we both stay togther as he does not have a child of his own.
after my marriage a few years ago things were going fine till i discovered that my uncle/stepdad was having an affair with my wife!!! i was shocked (I ama travelling sales executive and remain on tour most of the days)
i spoke with my wife about this ad she told me point blank that she cannot live without him as she felt he was more satisfying than me and she liked him too.she also clearly stated that she woud even go to the extent of divorce to livewith him but wouldnt mind staying with me as long as i did not interefere in this. i spoke to my uncle/step dad and he told me that he was lonely and he felt her as a caring oe and he needed her at his age. as a means of grattude and as ido not want a dvorcei social life, have allowed this continue- am i wrong?
2007-02-10 08:27:33 · 8 answers · asked by orangeman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i do not want to live as a divorcee inthis society. also i am indebted to him due to which i allowed to continue as this is happening within the four walls of our house without others knowing. bothmy wife and uncle/stepdad are happy now
2007-02-10 08:30:42 · update #1
It sounds like you care about your wife and your uncle very much... however that does not justify you punishing yourself for their sense of desperation.
If they've cheated on you, then it was because they were both looking for something to help complete themselves in different ways. Who knows if they've found it, it may be just because they found similiarities between eachother in their search of what they may feel is missing from their lives. Whatever good they have done for you in the past can't erase the fact that they're willing to intentionally and continually cause harm to you now.
You aren't responsible for them, not in this current affair of things. They know what they are doing, and what they're asking of you must be hurting you in more ways than you can describe. Despite what you say about not wanting to lead a divorced social life, would life be much better twenty years down the line if you're still allowing this to happen? What is so horrible about recognizing what you don't deserve and leaving it?
2007-02-10 08:42:34 · answer #1 · answered by Jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he took you in when your parents died does not mean you owe him your wife...both of these people are not only making a mockery of your marriage but of you as an individual as well. As a man, and husband, you need to remove yourself and your wife from this relatives home, if she refuses then divorce her. It is not normal for wives to have a husband and a lover especially in the same household, I don't care if it is kept within the four walls of the home. What if a child is conceived, who does it belong to and who will the child call Daddy...you of all people know how it is gr owning up without that man in your life, can you imagine a child not knowing who is his Daddy? Your wife and relative is taking advantage of you and your kindness, but for everyone involved it needs to cease. Let your Uncle/step parent find his own woman.
2007-02-10 16:44:38 · answer #2 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's true that some men have reduced sexual needs and some have healthy needs.
so it's not your fault that you must work so much and so far from home.
you are not at home to entertain your wife, so your uncle has erected himself and taken on the task.
just don't think about their bellies slapping together in the heat of passion.
let us hope the neighbours don't find out what is going on, otherwise more men will be attending to your wife in your absence.
2007-02-10 16:45:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might feel like you owe you uncle for raising you, but you sure don't owe him your wife. Let them be together and run far away. The divorced social scene isn't as bad as living under these circumstances!
2007-02-10 16:32:34 · answer #4 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um. Yeah. Leave them behind and base yourself somewhere else. That is awful. You self esteem has got to be shot to put up with that. You need to seek counseling and a good lover for this one. Sheez.
2007-02-10 16:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're an idiot! Your gratitude, apparently, knows no bounds, sharing your wife with your uncle is insane!!! You are absolutely 100% wrong!
2007-02-10 17:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Incest and adultery. Yep, I would choose to stay. NOT!!
2007-02-10 16:34:54 · answer #7 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy moly!!!!! Never talk to either one again!!!!
2007-02-10 16:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋