WE HAD BEEN MARRIED FOR 14 YEARS IN THE END I NOW KNOW THAT I WASNT WORKING AT OUR MARRIAGE I WAS TOO CENTERED ON WORK, THE HOUSE,THE KIDS ,ME.WE HAVE 3 KIDS 5,10,12.WE SHARE THEM WEEK ON,WEEK OFF SHE MOOVED OUT HAD AN AFFAIR GOT DUMPED,AND IS NOW TRYING INTERNET DATING.I STILL HAVE STRONG FEELINGS BFOR HER FIRST LOVE -TRUE LOVE I MISS HER TERREBLY BUT SHE IS PRETTY HOSTILE THAT HER FAIRYSTYLE LIFE HASNT WORKED OUT AND IS TAKING IT OUT ON ME.IM THINKING TO MAKE A BIG EFFORT ON VALENTINES DAY ANY SUGGESTIONS I REALLY WANT TO IMPRESS HER AND MAKE OUR MARRIAGE WORK....
2007-02-10 07:59:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all calm down. Secondly, know that you're not alone. This happens all the time
If she has made up her mind... you might just have to sit back, and breathe a bit before trying too hard.
How about something simple - try a simple date... and do NOT come on strong.
Read a lot of the stuff at this site. And try some of the strategies.
Good luck.
2007-02-10 08:04:21 · answer #1 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She obviously wants to be romantic, and be loved for who she is. Therefore, I would suggest the most romantic evening possible for her on Valentine's Day. First, please make a "date" with her-so she will know to expect you. Please let her know also, you will arrange for the babysitter, and what time she should be ready to have you pick her up. Does she like surprises? If so, just tell her she has a surprise coming on that evening. And, if she should dress up or not. A nice dinner, candle light, soft music, and flowers-red roses are for your true love. Either a single rose, or a dozen. At some point later in the evening, or unless she asks you why you did this( earlier), let her know how you feel. Let her know you relaize the mistakes you have made. (But that as a man--that's apparently how you were). That things will change for the better. That you (if this is true) want to start dating her-even when back together-once a week-out to dinner, or the movies, or long walks, a picnic, etc. Please be willing to go to counseling if that is what she wants/feels she needs for this relationship to work. One thing a wife likes and needs, is the attention (loving) from her husband. Not always sex either. Just time to sit, watch tv, cuddle, a few kisses throughout the day and evening. If she has a problem, let her talk it out with you. If she wants your ideas on how to fix the problem-she can ask you. Sometimes a woman just needs to "vent". Maybe, it would be good, start helping her around the house. The best example as a father is to be loving to your wife. I truly wish you the best. Take care.
2007-02-10 16:19:28 · answer #2 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry this is happening to your family. Divorce is hard for everyone but the kids pick up most of the tab. Your wife is probably angry with you for what she sees as you neglecting her. And you admit you did. She's also probably embarrassed that she got dumped. Internet dating is going to get her nowhere except maybe raped, beaten or killed by a wacko. She is obviously feeling desperate for attention. As for Valentine's Day...this is a tough one! It's likely that anything you might do will fail to change her mind when she's feeling upset and vulnerable. I would not spend much money. However, you might contact her in advance and ask if you can see her (maybe for coffee or dinner somewhere), Tell her you really need to talk to her. If she will see you, take her flowers when you pick her up. Speak from the heart; admit your shortcomings and ask if she will consider a trial period of ...say 2 months...to give you another chance because you think she's too special to lose and you think you've figured out how to be a better husband if she'll just let you try.. I hope she will listen from the heart but if she doesn't, don't beg. Just give it your best ONE TIME. If she won't see you, put your thoughts in an e-mail. I wish you the best of luck...may God help you say the right things and may He help her hear what you mean.
2007-02-10 16:15:58 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think true love is hard to find. If you have found it, let her know. Start all over!! Start a new home and a new life together. You ALL will be better off. Everyone has baggage. Everyone makes mistakes. My husband had an affair, and we ended up happier now, than in the 11 years before. We have been married 13 yrs. now. We were high school sweethearts. TRUE LOVE!!! It is a powerful thing. Dont underestimate the power. It can get your family through this hard time. Your wife needs to know that you still love her and care about the hard time shes going through. You know her better than any of her new dates!! Send her a "Secret Admirer" card in the mail. Do somthing secret for the next couple of days to get her interested in meeting you. Let her know you have known her a long time and you want to see her again... she will be surprised!! That would be romantic. Maybe you could take her somewhere you never took her before, and talk about starting all over again....like this is your first date..
I hope it works out and you two get everything worked out!!
2007-02-10 16:11:42 · answer #4 · answered by HappyGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her yourself for Valentine's day and take back the divorce and pull out of it. Buy her some of her favorite flowers and a nice card with some candy or a prety necklace. Let her know how much you love her and how special she is to you. Tell her how sorry you are and that you still love her and that you are VERY sorry for what you did to her in the marriage and ask her to please forgive you .Trust me this will make her think about things and maybe even bring her to tears. Tell her that you want to be her one and only again. I wish you the best and will be praying for things to work out for the two of you again.
2007-02-10 16:21:22 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would honestly take and forget it but if u want to impress her try writing her a poem telling her how much u love and miss her and want to work things out along with a big box of chocolates,a dozen red roses a bottle of her favorite perfume, a lovely teddybear and balloons
2007-02-10 16:06:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget it dude. She is already wanting to live it up by being single again. This means the prospect of new and exciting c0ck will keep her hostile towards you.
What you should do is go out there and date (screw) as many hot broads as you can find and never repeat that marriage mistake again.
2007-02-10 16:04:38 · answer #7 · answered by Billy Bob D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well we reap what we sow.....too little too late.....you need to back off.....let her do her thing for a little while....then start dating her again. You won her once.....now you know her even better.
If you must "valentine" her do it as a secret admirer.....then her tensions my be relieved...do this for awhile...then reveal yourself.
Blessings on your efforts
2007-02-10 16:05:50 · answer #8 · answered by gluckstadt_randy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try talking to her and show her you love her and can't live without her in your life see if she'll go eat and romantic outings to get that feeling back if she falls for you again try to give her presents
2007-02-14 15:54:21 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋