I broke my arm two days ago, quite badly, and can't do an awful lot. We have a one year old, and three other children. i cant even pick the baby up. My husband didnt take any time off work to take me to the hospital, and went to work for a full day today. All of my family and friends are offering great support........ why cant he? He knows how much pain I'm in. Hes a workaholic, works about 80 hours a week already, but I always thought if I needed him there would'nt be a problem. Hes going to work tomorrow too! Help!
2007-02-10 06:35:04 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, to everyone who is going on about doctor bills. I work too, and contribute to this family finacially. We live in the U.K so don't pay doctor bills either. i would never expect him to take alot if time of work, just a ride to the hospital, or the added though of maybe trying to get home early. He and i make an equal earning, and he works seven days a week, we both pay the bills. I am at home right now because i can't drive, am in ALOT of pain, and am typing with one hand. How quickly people jump to conclusions is amazing!
2007-02-10 08:03:35 · update #1
In "husband" thinking, he IS helping, by working and providing money so you can have a house, food, etc. He is not being inconsiderate in his mind.......he "helps" the way he has been taught to. If you need a different help, then teach him! Good Luck!!
2007-02-10 06:45:28 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question. He is a workaholic, that is his primary focus. If he is a good husband in every other way, let him go to work and keep the family. Don't have any more kids. Right now the family is the focus , not your feelings. He may be a jerk, but there is a lot worse out there. Except the help of your friends and remember what goes around comes around, he is not invulnerable to illness. Everyone has something wrong with them, including you, reflect on that and keep going. It isn't forever.
2007-02-18 11:55:10 · answer #2 · answered by notuptoit2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men and women are different.
If your husband hurt his arm, he would probably have went to work so he cant understand what the big deal is and frankly, I cant either?
what really is it that you cant do?
diaper change?
lay the one year old on the floor.
So you dont pick her up for a day or two.
She wont die!
get the other kids to help you.
One arm pb and jelly sandwiches are doable.
I see you can still type.
Bet you can drive a car.
I wouldnt have stayed home either
Since you dont work outside of the home, you might not realize that he has a boss that he has to answer too.
Do you know what he does at work?
Probably stuff that would suffer if he didnt get them done (thus the 80 hours)
Do you want a at home nurse or do you want someone to make sure that there is money for you to go to the doctor and provide for you and four kids.
he should save his sick days for a REAL emergency.
If the doctor thought your arm was so bad, why didnt he keep you there?
YOU ARE OVER REACTING and the people that are telling you how bad your husband are probably laughing behind your back at how selfish YOU are
2007-02-10 15:18:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He seems to have past family issue. When a person becomes workaholic or even alcholic, s/he wants to avoid something. What 'something' is you need to figure out. Maybe too much of your family and, thus, support is around, and he feels neglected; maybe his painful memory returned when he saw you getting hurt because he went through too painful experience early in his life; maybe he just does not know how to act compassionately and kindly because he grew up from a very emotionally-dry family. It can be any of the above and more. I would talk to him (not confront him) gently and understandingly.
2007-02-10 14:48:28 · answer #4 · answered by dansdna 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Did you ask him to take off of work and he said no, or did you just secretly expect that he would read your mind and no that you wanted him to?
If you didnt ask him to take off of work, dont bytch about him not doing so. If it were my husband that broke his arm, I wouldnt have thought to take off work unless asked.
For a broken arm, I probably would not have done it but I would have explained it in a reason that he could understand. I might bring home paper plates or dinner but I would not instinctively think that taking off of work was an option and would want to save my sick days for something more important....
(when your clumsy butt was in a car wreck or something of the like)
If he is a workaholic then why are you trying to change him?
He might be working that hard so you dont have to?
Maybe he is working that had do that he can get a promotion.
either way, NO ONE is perfect, not him not you.
Love him the way he is and quit trying to change him or else you will find yourself ALONE 24/7 wishing you werent such a nag!
2007-02-10 15:01:02 · answer #5 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Face it. Is this the first time he has expressed selfish behavior? Or did this tradjety open your eyes to it. Honey, sounds like you got one of these self obsorbed males in your life. It isnt you and no it isnt wrong to hurt. He is not being there emotionally for you and of course he is a workaholic and that addiction comes with problems of its own. Hope you feel better. Seek individual counseling as a support for your broken esteem. It will help sort it all out.
2007-02-10 14:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As an employer, I would be PISSED if my employee took off of work because his wife broke her arm.
He probably went to work to so he wouldnt have to hear you complain about how much pain you are in.
If you are soo hurt, why are you on the computer typing.
I would be pissed if I was at home from work and you were on the computer typing crying about what you cant do!
GET over it and dont nag him about it when he gets home.
It is easy for family and friends to be supportive over the phone but how many of them came over your house to help you do what your husband isnt doing>?
geez
get over yourself!
How long do you expect him to be off of work?
Your arm wont heal for a month
should he stop working all together>
Cut him a break and be glad thatyou have someone that is paying your doctor bill and not complaining about the work you cant do!
2007-02-10 14:53:06 · answer #7 · answered by lisa s 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Any of those 'supportive' family and friends offer to PAY YOUR DOCTOR BILL?
I bet your husband did and didnt think twice about it.
go to the credit section of yahoo answers and read how many people dont have insurance and are wondering how to pay doctor bills.... you dont have the problem do ya?
If I were your husband you told me some crap like this, I would spend that time talking to a divorce attorney.
Some people are never happy!
Go see a counselor, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT NEEDS HELP!
p.s. quit airing your dirty laundry to the 'supportive' friends and relatives...bet most of them that would even listen to this crap are and would be happy to see you single!
2007-02-10 15:10:52 · answer #8 · answered by onestepbeyond 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He should learn how to make time for the family, in this if he was the one that got hurt he'd probably want you to come home and help out some. I guess some think that we are superwoman and that we could do it all.
2007-02-17 19:40:20 · answer #9 · answered by Patricia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
aww bless you i would be very hurt and upset too just because he loves his work he should love you more we work to live not live to work ! well thats my motto and he should put you 1st takecare and if you feel like you can try and catch him and have a word with him i think he needs to realise how upset you are it wouldnt have hurt him to take you to the hospital or something you would have appreciated it soo much knowing that normally he wont stop work for anything takecare and goodluck:)
2007-02-18 05:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋