we broke up but was still seeing each other,and he said he was with her at the time we weren't together.she said that the twins are 1,but to me the time doesn't make sense.he said he doesn't think he's the father.what should i do,because i still love my husband and i don't want to lose him!
2007-02-10 06:04:46 · 13 answers · asked by APRIL H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we also weren't married at the time.
2007-02-10 06:17:27 · update #1
call Maury.
2007-02-10 06:07:52 · answer #1 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Timing, especially where twins are concerned, can be deceiving. If he had a sexual relationship with her at all, whether it was once or more makes no difference, he could still be the father. The only true/sure way of knowing is a paternity test. The state will order one if she is naming him as the father and wanting child support and he denies it. If she is wanting him to be part of the babies life and he is the father then ask for joint custody of the babies and help him to raise them, no need for you to lose him.
2007-02-10 14:24:13 · answer #2 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the better question is what does your husband want to do? He can demand paternity testing and then timing won't be an issues to anyone. Are you willing to take on having his children by someone else in your life permanently? Big decisions! If you are the kind of person who can love these children by another woman, then if he's willing to work it out, by all means, go for it!
2007-02-10 14:22:26 · answer #3 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a DNA test to determine whether he is the daddy or not. Then it is up to you. I forgave my husband and we are in the process now of getting visitation and paying child support. It is hard but if your marriage is strong and you truly love each other this is just a bump in the road.
2007-02-10 14:32:12 · answer #4 · answered by Bama Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold on for a wild ride and get the DNA tests done to be sure. If he's the dad, then you are the step-mom and you are going to have to accept the children, like it or not. Being a step-mom can be awful, but it can also be very rewarding.
2007-02-10 14:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by Kbear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you love your husband, hold his hand while he takes the blood test. If it turns out he is the father then quit trying to do the math and get on with life. Be a good step mom. If he isn't and you split up again, buy him some condoms.
2007-02-10 14:11:16 · answer #6 · answered by shellybellycocoapuff 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GURL! u got yo self a situation! i think u should find out when these babies were born because if he did this while u guys were still 2gether then u should just let him go and move on. if i were u i wouldnt want 2 take the possibility that he could cheat on me again. but then again thats just what i would do. o and and the time makes perfect sense. that just tells u he was cheatin on u.
2007-02-10 14:19:59 · answer #7 · answered by Krispi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, you will work through it, counseling highly recommended for both of you. My friend actually had to deal with the same thing, and their marriage is stronger than it probably would've been (WITH COUSNSELING). My friend's husband actually gave up legal rights to the child. Until the child knocks on the door, they are not going to worry. You cannot throw it in his face constently or push it to the side and not deal with it if you are serious about your marriage. Of course, DNA first, before any desicions. Stay calm. Best of luck.
2007-02-10 14:17:34 · answer #8 · answered by Ginger 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, the best thing that you can do is demand a paternity test. If the mother refuses, take her to court to get a court-ordered paternity test.
2007-02-10 14:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by kate 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a DNA test is in order. if she tries to refuse the test.. she may be lying and you might need to get a court order..eitherway.. a DNA test is the only way to know for sure.
2007-02-10 14:11:44 · answer #10 · answered by road runner 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to lose him, tell him that. Don't nag about his past mistake. He will have to pay child support if the twins are his.
2007-02-10 14:36:50 · answer #11 · answered by supertop 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋