too much stress, cant sleep ,too much thinking.. am i normal?

Question

a year ago i entered this " what if " world. i keep asking my self what if i faild college again ? what if my hours wont count when i change colleges in us ? what if they assume im a terr or something then my life is ruined ? what if i wont find a good girl?
what if i didnt get what i want in this life ? what if my job isnt really for me ? what if im on the wrong truck without knowing? what if what if what if what if. alotsssssssssssssssssssof Q;s
cant sleep
bad mood
always upset about something even if its not happening now
i like to be alone more often than b4
and alots more... is it normall ? have u been there done that? or its just me ?
im 20 years old if that tells u something
life was way better when i was just 16 years old watching pokemon. my biggest Q was " whats taking the pizza boy so long"

i like to be that guy again
but
i dont really think its the age thing ? cause i know alots of boys in my age no one really the same.
an advice would be nice
be honest pls

wow you all assume i got issues ? did you all agree on that or something ?

i dont have a proffisonal help , i cant offord it anyway. i dont even know where to seek..

its just i cannot sleep knowing that all my plans might be changed and i got no control , i cannot sleep without having a guarntees :(

Answer 1

You don't need professional help, you just need to "professionaly" figure this out yourself because a lot of the time, what "professionals" do is ask you questions that will lead you to figure out this stuff on your own. No one can take your place and do it for you. Same with all of here, we're only here to help you help yourself.

Alright, first understand that "if" is in the middle of "life" (literally and figuratively). You can always come up with "what if's" for everything, more than you're doing. You can always ask that, but you've gotta ask yourself if asking that will really benefit you or not.

One reason you might be asking what if all the time is because you're not confident in yourself and/or your talents/abilities/qualities. Read what I'm saying very carefully: you have to trust yourself. You have to. Because you're the only person who will be living with you for the rest of your life. People will always come and go, but you're with you all the time. There will never be another person who will have been there for you, with you, for your entire life span. It just doesn't work that way. Like my favorite social studies told me, just last week, "Others can't validate your talents. That validation comes from YOU."

If you can't trust yourself, how can you expect others to trust you? You need to build confidence and trust in yourself, and you do that by stopping yourself from questioning everything. Don't question why you shouldn't question everything. You just don't. Only question things when you have good reason to believe that it'll help you in some way. Also, don't base your happiness on the actions of others -- how often do people do the things we want them to do, EXACTLY as we want them? Very rarely. It could happen a few times, but don't blindly believe that b/c of that, it'll happen always. I'm here to tell you the truth -- it will NOT. Base your happiness on what YOU believe is best. Also, don't act a certain way to get the attention of others. Do what will help you, but just try your best to ensure it won't negatively affect others.

You can say to me "You don't understand" or "You're too young to know what you're saying" (freshman in h.s. if you're wondering), but understand that those are just excuses. You can always make excuses about why you can't do something. Anyone can do that. If people could achieve the goals they set, don't you think anyone could be successful? This is what seperates those who succeed in what they want and those who don't, the words "No Excuses." Read the book written by Kyle Maynard, it might help you out.

And good job on not being the same! That's sometimes a hard thing to do in this world. Be different, but not to the extent that it'll cause harm to you or others. And understand what my s.s teacher said "Things don't stay the same. They move forward and change." You won't be the way you are right now ever again, because there's a lot of stuff going on every second, every milisecond, that changes you that you don't even realize. Of course, these changes aren't hugely noticeable within seconds, but over a period of time you'll notice it b/c they're piling up.

Basically, all the things I said above, just be more confident in yourself. And build that up slowly so that it'll stick around. If you're not confident, there are thousands of ramifications that could occur. Try to figure this stuff out yourself. I know you can do it, and let me know how it works out (if I didn't care how this turned out, do you really think I would've spent this much time typing up what'll probably be the longest answer you'll get?). I wish you all the best. ^_^

Answer 2

The big questions are how long have you been like this, and do you have any family history of anxiety and/or depression. The "blues" are normal, especially at your age. Deep, long lasting blues are a different animal altogether. Genetics and family history can play into this as well. This "what-if" cycle is hard to break alone, especially if it's interfering with your normal activities, like sleep and socialization. Eventually, the problems that anxiety causes will feed the anxiety even more and it's an endless cycle. If you can speak with your (or a) pastor or a mental health profession, then I would highly recommend that ASAP. If you let this go on, it will become something that rules your life and has to be controlled with medication. You're too young to start that, so please try to get it under control now. Take it from an old fart...worrying doesn't change the future, it only ruins the present.

Answer 3

I use to be like that when i was trying to get my life together, everything was always what if, even if i was having fun at a basketball game i would say what if the building collasped from everyone cheering so loud. What if your college hours dont count? okay then fine what if you take them again and your GPA goes up because you already know the stuff and you end up meeting a beautiful girl in one of those classes you're taking for the 2nd time? What if she loves you and only you , what if you where put in that class to help someone who is struggling with that subject? Your Job? really no one knows what job is for them, Besides if you're going to school what ever you're going to school for should be the job for you and any thing else is just to keep the bills paid. stay focus young man. what if you find a woman and get some good loving and you fall right to sleep every night? when you where watching Pokemon didnt you ever say what if they took Pokemon off the air tomorrow? and what if the pizza boy deliver a cold pizza? What if they think you're a terrorist? they probably already do but just dont do anything terroristick, get your education, get your woman (hoppfully a sexy stripper or cheerleader type that only loves you) it can happen because i got one and i still say what if she leave me for another man, then something kicks in my head and say what if she leave and one of her sexy friends want me also. Stay positive young man and trust me you will laugh more just like you are right now while you're reading this.

Answer 4

All your symptoms describe my poor mom. Only my poor mom is not 20 years old. She's 83 and diagnosed being dementia. So I must say you are far too young to be going through this. I suppose you could be diagnosed as cynical. This is not a good condition either. Before you truly drive yourself bonkers, seek professional help. It could be a chemical imbalance and medication can make a whole new person out of you. You will enjoy life to the fullest. I wish you luck. I hate to see any one have to go through what you are right now. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 5

You know many years ago I went through the same thing. I lived in so many “What Ifs” that I couldn’t enjoy my life anymore. It seems you have a good dose of anxiety going on in your life. It seems to me that you’re stressing over lots of stuff that you have no control over. All you can do is the best you can do, and let the rest play out, as it will. Life is not perfect, and sure your going to make some wrong choices, we all do. But you learn from them and move on. Don’t be afraid of failure my friend, some of the most successful people in history failed many times, but they succeeded because they didn’t give up. Once you’ve done everything you can do humanly, you have to trust something bigger then yourself to tie is all-together. To work it out in the way it’s supposed to go. I like what my grandmother said to me growing up, “When I go to bed at night I give all my worries and fears to God, He’s going to be up all night anyways.” You need to stop stressing over all this stuff my friend and have a little faith. If not your on your way to early hypertension and health problems down the road. Maybe you need to seek a little advise from a trusted friend, minister, priest or counselor to gain some perspective. I’ll be praying for you.

Answer 6

First, see your doc. Then, if you have to do "what if," rephrase your questions:

"What if" I don't try and end up blaming myself for all the missed opportunities?

"What if" what I want in life isn't necessarily what I need?

"What if" the woman of my dreams has experiences and insights that are a result of her being a 'bad' girl?

"What if" I make a plan for myself and it ends up benefitting a whole lot of people?

"What if" the pizza delivery guy is in an accident?

"What if" I learn something in college that I can apply in real life and THAT ends up far more valuable than hours?

If you are seeing what you are looking for, it makes sense to look for the things that are healthy.

Live well

Answer 7

Yes, you are normal. Things to do to relieve stress:

1. When you feel stressed at the moment stop to breathe deeply. You will feel the stress level lessen. Do for 5 minutes if at all possible.
2. Find a time of day to take a walk. This should relax your mind and allow you to feel less stressed. Also will help you to get to sleep.
3. Take a relaxing shower before bed. This will help to relieve stress.

Answer 8

Life is made up of what ifs and unfortunately you have decided to fixed on it. There are no promises in life, no sure thing, we have to remember to enjoy what we have, enjoy the moment. I do however think if this has been engulfing you for you go to your Dr . I am sure one would be able to guide you through your world of "what if". Yes, it can make you lose sleep etc, What IFS rob you of your life. Look to the future and jump on the ride of life. It's an extraordinary ride and one you can only take once. Good Luck

Answer 9

To be very honest with you,my advice is that you are normal,but your lifestyle is causing the problem.
May I suggest that you learn yoga and meditation and practice daily,from lesson (level ) 1 to 7 in yoga.
Simple meditation:
Sit comfortably,relax all your body parts,feel it,closing your eyes,repeat "OM" for 20 minutes,once while inhaling and twice while exhaling,as slowly and as long as you inhale and exhale.
20 minutes in complete silence.
Open your eyes very slowly after 20 minutes.Don't sleep.

Answer 10

this will save you my friend. Im 42 now and have the same thing now and just now being able to overcome the what if. nothing is more important than your health.......see a doc get some treatment and read up on people with the same problem. get to know the problem then solve the problem. dont put it off .