heres a question to moms about teens and birth control...teens put in your opinion too...im only 18?

Question

ok...i am 18 and i have a story to share

i lived in montana with my mother, and when i was 15 i snuck behind her back to get put on Depo Prevera...the birth control shot, when she found out, the same day, she actually was very greatful because she didnt know how to approach the topic. she knew i was having sex, with 1 person mind you, and didnt like that i was, but was happy that i decided to own up and at least practice safely...well when me and him broke up, i got off the shot, i figured there was no need for it anymore.

well, when i was 16, i moved down to South Carolina to live with my step dad, as i was having problems back home, after about a year and a half (abstinent and all) i meet my now boyfriend, and decided i wanted to go back on birth control, one for the horriable cramps that i get, and two, so i could practice safe sex, when approaching my step parents they blew me off, and said i didnt need it at all, fearing me and my boyfriend would have sex


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well as we all know, your going to have sex if you want to, and after being denied, i was really upset...i couldnt belive that they would be so selfish, i mean, my mother told them to put me on it, and for there sake of "looking responisable and like good parents" they kept saying no...

Dont get me wrong, i practiced safe sex, but....

i am now 9 months pregnant...My son is due March 12th, and i feel like i have put so much blame on my step parents for not getting me on birth control.

am i wrong for thinking this??? i mean, i know they didnt hold a gun to my head and say have sex, but they also didnt respect me in asking for birth control...what do you think???

ok people. maybe i didnt type it in, maybe none of y'all read right...

I SAID I USED A CONDOM

and NO there are no planned parenthoods in South Carolina, everywhere i called said i would need to either bring in Medicaid work, or my parents

no i am not living with them anymore, me and my boyfriend had plans on getting married, and are getting married on friday (not because were having a baby either, neither one of us belive in divorse, therfore belive it useless and idiotic to marry for babies sake)

Answer 1

FIRST OF ALL, IF YOUR PARENTS WOULD NOT LET YOU GET ON BIRTH CONTROLL THE SECOND TIME AROUND THEN PART OF IT IS THEIR FAULT. BECAUSE IF THEY WOULD HAVE THEN THIS MAY NOT HAVE HAPPENED. HOWEVER KNOWING THAT YOU WERENT ON BIRTH CONTROL, YOU KNEW YOU WERE WRISKING IT. BUT I DO UNDERSTAND. I JUST HOPE THAT THEY REALIZE THEY TOO MADE A MISTAKE. HOWEVER I HOPE THE BEST OF LUCK FOR YOU AND YOUR NEW FAMILY, AFTER ALL THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.

Answer 2

Enough with the blame already.

Deal with *now* rather than what has already happened. You can't change the past. Clearly mistakes were made on all sides. But what good does it do to hold a grudge? You are going to need your family more than ever, and so is your son.

My suggestion is to sit down with your stepparents and let them know how you're feeling. Don't accuse them, just own you feelings (ie. I feel sad and angry that when I asked for birth control you wouldn't help me). Then tell them specifically what you need now (ie. Moving forward, I could really use your support in X, Y, Z ways). Then listen to what they have to say.

If you're asking for something that is 1. reasonable and/or 2. necessary, hopefully they will be willing to help. If not, then you will need to look elsewhere. But you given them a chance and you've been honest, and that's really all you can do.

I guess, in a nutshell, I'm saying "let go"... even if you're right. For your own sake, and your baby's.

Answer 3

You are 18, you are an adult and about to be a parent. Yes, you are wrong for blaming your parents, it was your decision to have sex and now it is time to face the consequences. OK, you used a condom, they aren't 100% (as you know). You need to stop blaming your parents and decide what to do about the birth that is rapidly approaching (keeping the baby, giving him/her up for adoption, raising the baby on your own or with your boyfriend). They may have had what you feel were selfish reasons for denying you, but you were also only concerned with what you wanted (which is selfish). It is time for everyone to stop being "selfish" and placing blame. Step up and take care of the baby...he/she is the only true victim in this situation.

Answer 4

Everyone has a different POV, you shouldn't call the show stupid. I esp. liked Catelyn's scenes. Teen moms are irresponsible.. They're not stupid, they've made a mistake.. I guess they better learn their lesson. Reality TV shows don't necessarily reach an achievement like you said - yes, you're smart for thinking of that idea, but it's called "REALITY" TV show. They partially do have a goal - like, get a good job, and show you what would be the best way to do it if you're a teen mom, etc. Their goal is to teach girls to not be pregnant at 16 - their message is: you'll regret it. although I won't get best answer, I hope my answer reaches an agreement with some people :P

Answer 5

My question is if you felt so strongly about being put on birth control why didn't you just sneak behind their backs like you did with your mom and get one by yourself?? I feel that the fault is all yours and your boyfriend. You do know that there is other forms of birth control besides the pill and the shot. There are condoms, foams, spermicide, and last but not least there is abstinence. I know you probably didn't even think about the last one but I bet you are now. I mean now you are going to be a parent and have to grow up very fast. No more going out and thinking of yourself first. Your whole word now belongs to the baby. I know what is going to happen because I had my son when I was 19 and out of school. It was not fun like you think it might be, you'll never be the same again. So in saying all that next time you might want to listen to parents even if you think they're not fair, because now they will be the ones babysitting when you have to be gone, like hopefully finishing school.

Answer 6

They definately should have, but you can't live your life blaming them. If we all could count how many times we have said could have, should have, it would be up there in the numbers. You have been blessed with a child, try to look at it positively. I was 16 when I had my first child, and it was tough...but he is very much worth it. I am now 29 and have a 7 week old baby girl..things will work out, but try to let go of your past mistakes, and don't place blame, just take your responsibility.

Answer 7

I agree that they should have put you on the birth control it was your responsibility to practice safe sex by at least using a condom. Also you did not need their permission to go to a local planned parenthood and be put on birth control. No doctor can tell your parents you went even. So that was something you could have done on your own, and if you had been as responsible as you said you were you would have done that.

It's a shame you didn't think of that before you got pregnant.

Answer 8

You are living in their house, and they get to make the rules. You went behind your mom's back, why not step-dad's? They really were silly to deny permission, but the blame is yours. Accept it, forgive yourself and go read a parenting book so you can be the best mom you can be. I could have blamed several people for my unintended pregnancy, but it's better to forget it and focus on something real. My favorite baby book is The Baby book by William Sears. It's really long, but you don't have to read it all at once. Check out the website http://www.askdrsears.com Good luck.

Answer 9

Well, first of all, you have every right to go on birth control. And, besides! I am on birth control too, but not for your reason; I went on it to control my periods.....so, I don't understand why most parents instantly think that just because their daughter wants to go on birth control, that it instantly means that they are having sex. Because it doesn't always mean that. Anyways, since you are in a free country, you can go on birth control anytime you wish! Your parents don't have to know about it, it's your body, you would just end up having to pay for it. So, in my opinion, I think that your step-parents are stupid. When a daughter asks for birth control, it is a sign that they understand the risks of having sex and they are trying to take responsibility.

Answer 10

I have 4 girls 1 boy under 9 years age right now and my husband and I teach them about their body and changes they will be going thru. When my children start dating and want to have sex then not only BC is on my mind. There is so much more to it then being worried about getting pregnant. Emotionally and diseases and etc. I will talk to them and support them and give them advice rather they take it or not. I hope I give them enough information that they will be wise.