Tell the family im Preg?

Question

i am about to go to my sisters house where my entire immediate family is having dinner. (mom, older sis, older bro, his wife and 2 kids) im 10 wks and havent told them im preg? i REALLY dont want to hear anybody's mouth about not being married. im not getting married nor do i want to. but i gotta tell them eventually...tell em all at once or try the trickle down efffect (tell my sis-n-law, have her tell my bro ( the most open minded of the family) , who can tell my sis, who will tell my mom?

ps im in my 20's with my own car, job, place, etc. and an education.

not scared....just dont want them to say a bunch of discouraging things to me. especially not all at once. it will anger me and stress me out, and im stressed as it is.....

Answer 1

Maybe you should talk to your open minded sister in law about it, ask her not to tell anyone until you've made up your mind. I do think your family should know in case there was anything to happen to you. Plus I'm sure even if they do raise the topic of you not being married, the excitement over a new baby should outweigh that not married part. You sound pretty set in life, congradulations!

Answer 2

It might cause a problem if you tell them at a family function. Still, if your open-minded brother and his wife are there, then that could be a good time to tell your family because you will likely have his support to back you up. It all boils down to the fact that whether or not they approve doesn't matter. A life has been created, and short of aborting your baby (I hope you won't do that), your family is going to have to get used to having a grandchild, niece or nephew and cousin arriving in a few months. You are an adult. You have your own car, job, place to live and an education. If you are responsible enough to have that, you can tackle parenthood. It is the most frustrating and exhausting experience you will have, yet also the most completely rewarding and enriching experience as well!

My 16 year-old niece announced to my family, during my son's first birthday party, that she was pregnant. She was still in school, had no job, had a very irresponsible boyfriend who fathered her child (who is now happily married, successful and has 2 other kids with someone else), and she wanted to keep her baby. Many of the people she thought were her friends ostracised her. When she announced she was pregnant at my son's birthday party, my very conservative, Christian family looked at her and kind of said "oh...." in a way that suggested they wanted to be happy for her, but they knew that was not really good news. I went up to her, gave her a big hug, told her that a child was a gift from God, and told her that while her circumstances might not be ideal, I was very happy for her because she will discover what a blessing a child can be. Today, my son is 17 and her son is 15. Both are great kids. My family loves her son very much. Give your family a chance to get over the shock, if they have any. Realize that if they are upset or say something inappropriate, it is probably only because they love you and are concerned about you raising a child alone. That said, tell them when and where you feel is right, but hold your ground. You ARE an adult, you have the RIGHT to make your own choices and to live by them, and you DESERVE to be respected as an adult with freedom to make your own decisions in life without being scorned, just like every other member of your family. Hang in there. Best wishes to you. Most of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Answer 3

Tell them all at once but you have to have them all sit down TV off and lay down some ground rules like.

Let me have my say and then we'll discuss one question at a time.

I know it sounds kinda' stupid but maybe have something like a talking stick and whoever has it gets to talk.

If you do it this way it's way less melodramatic and no one will be talking behind your back.

Oh and have this kids if they're less than 12 or 13 leave the room while the adults talk. I say this b/c having a baby in a childs mind is a happy occasion and it sounds like there may be some strife with this announcement.

Whatever you do act as mature as you know how. You're an adult now so act like one.

One last thing....my wife and I have adopted a child b/c she can't get pregnant, I'm adopted, my sister is adopted, my wife's sister is adopted, and Joseph adopted Jesus. I guess I'm saying adoption isn't a bad option. May not be for you....I'm just sayin'

Answer 4

Honestly, you are an adult, start acting like one. It would be one thing is you were 15 but being that you are in your 20's and self supporting, why does their opinions matter so much?

I am 29 and have an 11 year old (pregnant at 16) and I have a 7 week old..I tell you it was tough telling anyone when I was 16, but now, being an adult, and self supporting, who cares what they think, you will be ok without their help if they decide to write you off, which is just wrong!

Good luck!

Answer 5

Do you think your dad is the type to press charges on your boyfriend ?(If he is over 18, he can be charged with statutory rape) The only thing you can do is be honest. Say dad, can we talk. And then explain to him that you and your boyfriend are having sex. Tell him, you went to Planned parenthood, but you found out it was too late. Then all you can do is present options to him, or listen as he presents options to you. Whatever you do, stay in school ! Good luck, I hope it works out. I will be scary, but you have to tell him so you can get prenatal care for the baby, or deal with the alternative. You might just want to leave the age thing out for now.

Answer 6

In my opinion, it would be best if they all heard the news from you. Very nicely let them all know that you feel they might not agree with your decision but you felt it best to tell all of them face to face.

Another thing, if those at the family get together begin to make ugly remarks then again very politely say "I did not tell you this information for your opinion. I was just letting you know up front so you did not hear about it from anyone else than me".

Answer 7

It's seems fairly immature to use the trickle down effect for something like a pregnancy. If you're not ashamed of yourself then why not just tell them all with your head held high?

Answer 8

I've been there! I would just tell them and get it over with. They will probably say something about not being married. You don't have to be married, too raise a baby. I wasn't and my 2 are just fine. Good Luck.

Answer 9

I'd tell them all at once and get it over with. Tell them you're an adult and no you don't want to marry him. You are going to be a good mom whether you're married or not and should NOT marry someone just because you're pregnant.

CONGRATS!

Answer 10

I'd wait until after the first trimester. The first 12 weeks can be risky for a miscarriage. Then, call your mother and siblings. Word of mouth will spread.