I have just come back from my husband's flat where he lives during the week. He is in Turkey for 3 weeks and I found the keys to the flat by accident and couldn't resist going there. A year ago I found out he was having an affair. I knew she must be an arty type because suddenly he was into art something he had never mentioned. I found a painting hidden under his sofa and the enscription on the back was Merry Xmas, I hope you like it, with Love Zoexx. He told me before Xmas that he didn't have anyone in his life now and that he had resolved things in his head. I asked if it meant he would come home but he said he wants to wait till the summer. Whilst he is in Turkey to see his family he phones every 2 days and says to me "don't forget will you?" our old language for saying that we loved each other. He has started to come back to the house friday to sunday and also wednesdays. He has become a changed man, nice, considerate, takes me ou, but I don't know if this change is for my benefit
2007-02-10 05:13:55 · 9 answers · asked by jospinelli 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think she works with him so he sees her there. From what he was saying she did all the running but since I have found out he has always said that he doesn't want a divorce that him leaving home was not about the other woman but the fact that he wants to be single and doen't want the commitment of marriage anymore. His behaviour is confusing because for someone who doesn't want these things why come back home so often? It could be about the money I suppose. He keeps me in the house till he is ready for his next move whatever that his and then sells the house, by then the property will have appreciated, our daughter will be safely at university. This is what I am having problems with, and now by hiding the picture, no, by keeping the picture he has confused me more. Don't know whether I should confront him with it. Certainly he wouldn't have bought and furnished a flat if he intended to move back home in the near future. Perhaps I should find HER and talk to HER.
2007-02-10 06:19:46 · update #1
Cheaters are garbage.
Hopefully, you don't have children.
Put the trash out by the curb.
2007-02-10 05:17:07 · answer #1 · answered by spamovision 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You found the keys on accident? Be honest with yourself, you hunted them down and snuck over to his place while you knew he was gone to nose around. I would've done the same thing.
It sounds like you have a complex relationship. If she painted the picture for him for him for this last Christmas it sounds like the affair is still smoldering...and that may be complex as well. It being under the sofa is interesting...you really did search the place didn't you?
Him coming back around and being good to you sounds like a good sign, unless he has some ulterior motive (like money). Often a failed affair can help rekindle appreciation for a spouse. I hope that is the case here if that is what you want.
This does sound rather complicated, you may want to consider seeing a counselor. Not that it sounds like you "need help", but a trained counselor can help you sort through things and get the most healthy perspective for you. Friends are great for listening, but they have too many emotions invested in you and will be protective. A good counselor will be entirely objective and emotionally uninvolved. Best wishes!
2007-02-10 05:25:19 · answer #2 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't make sense that he needs to live alone until summer. It sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. The Christmas gift gives me the impression that he was seeing her over Christmas. I doubt if anyone would go to the trouble of painting a picture for someone they broke up with.
I'd suggest that you see a counselor. Please realize that you are wasting months or years of your life on someone who is not there for you.
2007-02-10 05:27:48 · answer #3 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him. If he really loved you, he wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place. Plus the fact that he didn't tell you about the painting. Thats a serious clue to get out.
2007-02-10 05:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by nothing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i smell something rotten in turkey. can you afford a private detective? check up on him. if he loves you so much, he would be at home. while he's away, set up your finances, etc., in case something DOES show up. good luck!
2007-02-10 05:20:33 · answer #5 · answered by bad guppy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait and watch. We all deserve second chances, but they don't have to be taken lightly.
2007-02-10 05:26:38 · answer #6 · answered by dianabarff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't believe he is faithful, and hiding a gift from another woman, no.
2007-02-10 05:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it time and good luck
2007-02-10 05:20:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him
2007-02-14 03:13:20 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋