My husband of less than a year was caught logging onto an "intimate encounters" site less than 2 months into our marriage, a month prior to our marriage I found emails from a woman to him indicating that she had slept with him. He denies all of this has anything to do with him (says the online profile was his cousins and he was checking it for him, says he never slept with that girl and SHE was playing me with those emails). I have no sexual interest in him anymore since all of this. On top of everything, I moved to other city, left my family and job to be with him and now I pay for 70% of the bills, and do 70% of the housework. I married him after only knowing him for 4 months because I thought I loved him and he needed someone to sponsor him into this country, but half the time I feel as if I've made a huge mistake.
2007-02-10 04:57:08 · 22 answers · asked by MsTrust 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should also mention that he is a good guy sometimes, and he tells me he loves me daily.
2007-02-10 05:19:12 · update #1
No you're not..I think you're making a big mistake! and you should file for divorce ASAP...I'm talking to you since I have a similar problem but the difference is that I can't escape anymore I have two girls 8 & 6 years old..and I can't just leave for their sake!! and I have to live each day in a Huge Lie...so PLEASE before it's too late get out of this before you lose more..GOOD LUCK....
2007-02-10 05:46:29 · answer #1 · answered by lolo6771 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes position because some quite everyone seems extremely selfish, and others trust that in the experience that they shop attempting, they could fix their relationships all on their personal. tell him if he would not go away you on my own, you're going to his spouse. He needs to stay married. He needs someone to do each little thing she does. He likely cares about her very a lot, would not prefer to damage her or see her with some different person. He likely would not choose his children to wade through anymore than they have already. He needs all that, yet nevertheless someone new and interesting devoid of the household initiatives of having a relationship. tell him you're going to his spouse, and also you'll see the actuality of the count. he will turn OUT. he will probably get indignant and threaten you (why ... because he values his marriage more effective than he values you). If that weren't authentic, he does not be married. imagine about his spouse for a minute. She likely realizes there are topics. instead of him specializing in fixing his relationship, he's dropping his efforts elsewhere. She ought to sense so puzzled and determined... and there are 3 youthful ones in touch?? definite, unmarried women human beings connect with married men for an same reason married men stray vs. go away. they are selfish, and choose what they prefer no count the way it impacts persons.
2016-11-26 21:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole idea of marring someone is because you love them, but you can't love anyone if you don't know know them. I am so sorry this is happening to you, but why didn't you get to know him better? why did you rush into this? was it his or your idea to marry so soon? There are some people out there that will take advantage of others for no reason at all. they are just users, if you are paying that much percentage of the bills, it shouldn't hurt you to pay all of your bills, on your own. Talk this over with your husband and make your decisions from there, maybe you have to chalk this one up to a learning experience, don't feel bad we all have been there, some more times than others, take care of yourself and Good Luck
2007-02-10 05:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by Ann J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I really think that marrying to sponsor someone into this country should have been just that: a marriage of convenience. I am betting that he feels this way, and now that he is here, he is ready to part ways. I don't think I would have given up my family or have moved to sponsor someone; there are ways around that. But, now that you are in the situation you are in; I would suggest cutting your loses and go your seperate ways. You don't want someone that married you just to get into the United States anyway; yes it happens all the time, but you choose what happens to you next time. Ok?
2007-02-10 05:10:00 · answer #4 · answered by mymohum1969 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No please get a good attorney and head back home to be with family and friends so you will have a good support group to help get you through this. Once you get away from him and give yourself time to think you will really be able to see the real person he is and that is a cheating, lying peice of crap and that you don't need. He should be doing half so now you just need to drop it all and do none and he will have to do 100%. He will one day realize how good of a woman you were to him and then it will be too late. You will heal and life will look better than ever to you once again. Good luck.
2007-02-10 05:50:09 · answer #5 · answered by steve and angie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but you had the clues 2 months before you married him that he was doing stuff like this. That should have been a warning sign to you about what he was like. Now that you are married, you basically have 2 choices. Either stay with him and work on your trust or give up and start over. Of course, he will have to be willing to help you regain your trust in him. If you are both willing and love each other then try to make it work. Seek counseling to work through this.
2007-02-10 05:33:59 · answer #6 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say leave him.Only knowing him for 4 months is not alot of time to get to know someone.
His cousin can check his own emails from home.He doesn't need to use your computer.
He is playing you if you pay most of the bills and house work.A marriage is about team work.You can't be doing 99.9% of the relationship.Get a divorce.
Next time,get to know the fellow for a couple of years.Move in together and then think about marriage.That is what I did.
Whether the emails were in the past before the marriage or after he knew he was in the relationship right?There is no excuse for his behaviour.Don't tolerate that.You can do better just set your standards higher in men.(Get to know them first)
Good Luck!
2007-02-10 05:13:05 · answer #7 · answered by virgo woman 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
being in your shoes is one of the hardest situation. We , as a third person is not in any position to give advice nor tips to make things work or decide for you. I'm pretty sure your more intelligent that what you say and if things turn out worst than expected just always think simple and follow your heart, because it will lead your way home.
2007-02-10 05:25:58 · answer #8 · answered by *Pretty Pink* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I think u made a mistake and I think ur intuition is trying to tell you. It's good that u know now then later. Call it off now - it's good to not get too affected by him. TRUST ME!! it sucks that u had to leave it all behind for him - but it's not too late to start over from zero - you are TOTALLY capable!
Good luck!
2007-02-10 05:23:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've made a huge mistake. Learn from this and don't do it again. Leave him ASAP and get a divorce, the situation is NOT going to get better. Unless you like supporting his lazy a**, GET OUT!!!!!
2007-02-10 05:11:01 · answer #10 · answered by mamabear1957 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋