I'm sure people have had similiar questions on this forum, but I will post one more as I need help and encouragement. Been divorced for 9 months now. Although I don't want my husband back (he betrayed me) I can't seem to feel happy anymore. Everything seems like more trouble than it is worth. Have been asked out a couple of times, but said no, as I have a distrust of men at this time. I am depressed, but I don't think seriously enough for medication. My main problems are low energy and trouble making even small decisions since the divorce. Any one who has been in the same boat and can offer words of advice?
2007-02-10 04:40:58 · 14 answers · asked by 13th Floor 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the low energy thing could be from the depression, As for the decision making that will come with time you probable don't feel like you can trust your self right now (you chose to marry him and that didn't work out ,by the way that is not your fault). The dating thing you may just not be ready to date , but not going out with somebody because you don't trust man, they want a date, one night ,they didn't ask you to marry them there is no commitment in one date. besides not all men are scum. my ex-wife cheating on me was the best thing that ever happened to me, if she had never done that i would have never meet my wife. the two women i marred are total opposites so please don't blame all men because your ex was a scumbag
2007-02-10 04:54:08 · answer #1 · answered by longhaired_jesusfreak 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems that there are at least 2 aspects here.
One is that you now have to deal with life's doldrum by yourself (it is always easier when someone was around). Just like moving to a new city and your mind is not yet in it, you find a lot of inconveniences every day and wonder if you have made the right choice.
Two is about the mind or depression. Medical doctors will tell you that depression could be helped by medication but also by regular exercises. It is about a particular hormone. Actually,sexual activities would increase that hormone but I am not going there in this message but emphasize on the exercise part. People need it anyway. Develop an exercise regiment such as walking, jogging, or going to the gym. Being in shape or getting back in shape does make you feel better about yourself and a more positive outlook of the world.
2007-02-10 05:43:16 · answer #2 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek out some counseling. I spent the first 6 months of my divorce in my small dark and very cold apartment because that is where I felt the safest. I would not eat for days, then I started to get sick. I lost alot of weight. I would not return phone calls, pay bills or even hygene my self that well, yucky!!!, Any how when my electric bill was cut off, that literally sparked the light at the end of the tunnel. Reality had set in and I asked God for the strengh to move on. It has been a year since that lonely time in my life. I am a guy and as you say distrust us at this time but not all of us are that bad. I have dated only twice since my divorce and has been hard to start over. Hang in there, keep your self busy and try not to think about the divorce too much.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-10 04:54:12 · answer #3 · answered by Phillip M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Life is really a lot simpler than you are making it, I suspect. You go to work, you pay your bills and your taxes, and if you get bored, you find some way to entertain yourself or go for a walk or something.
You are in the process of disengaging from an attatchment, and it's going to take a little while to establish some daily grooves and start to enjoy life again, but it's going to happen.
I suspect that your energy is being used up fixating on what went wrong with this relationship and resisting accepting your new life. Once you accept your new life, and understand all you need to unserstand, then your energy levels will return to normal, and you'll be happy again.
Is it a nice day outside?
2007-02-10 05:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been divorced from my ex for 10 years now. I remember how you are feeling now. I do however remember not having the same outlook about men as you do. Yes my husband betrayed me, but no, I do not believe that all men will betray. It will take time before you can feel more confident in men, but don't rush it. Take your time and heal. It seems as if dating right now isn't in your best interest because if you do, you may not enjoy it and it will make matters seem worse. Take your time, find enjoyable things and hobbies to occupy your time. Love will be there trust me. I have remarried and have a wonderful husband whom I would never trade for.
2007-02-10 04:47:28 · answer #5 · answered by ♪♫♪justpassingby♪♫♪ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're in a depression. I'd recommend that you see a counselor to help you through this time. Also, it would be helpful to attend a Divorce Care or Divorce Recovery class. You'll find others going through the same thing, and they'll become great friends. A good website is linked below.
Also, find things that you enjoy--foog, music, friends, walking, friends,--and do those things. It's time for R&R for yourself. Pamper yourself during this time.
2007-02-10 05:31:50 · answer #6 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're suffering from depression and it's normal after a divorce. Either get some therapy or take some time to find things that bring you joy. Hang around your friends and family, take a class, start a hobby.
You'll get over this but it takes time....good luck.
2007-02-10 04:45:27 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to your doctor and at least try some antidepressants for a short while. They may perk you up just enough to get out and find a new life for yourself. It's only been 9 months for you, I"ve been divorced for almost 5 years and I still don't have much interest in dating!
2007-02-10 04:55:27 · answer #8 · answered by mamabear1957 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Exercise.
It's not just good for your body, but also gets the positive juices of the mind flowing. It will get your energy level back up and feeling better about yourself.
Time with friends never hurt either. Talking through your problems with someone who cares can be very therapeutic.
2007-02-10 04:45:27 · answer #9 · answered by spamovision 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes i have and its not easy to get away from unless you try.. my friends had to drag me out and get me to join church groups and get me back into life.. maybe that's what you need someone in your family or friends to get you going again.. or you can do it your self get up join groups like church if you go, join a gym get into shape and will give you energy and or join single groups that take day trips.. one group i joined we went camping and rock climbing and river rafting.. and its not about getting hooked up its about not doing things on your own.. the people i met were men and women and we all had the same issue divorce or just cant find the right one.. we all became friends and always planned trips the same time so we know we had someone going that we knew.. so good luck take care and get up and get back out there and enjoy life..
2007-02-10 04:51:39 · answer #10 · answered by tlcoufan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋