How can I get over a bereavement?

Question

I am at my Motherš house and she is playing a tape my step-father made for her and it still makes me cry - seven years on. She knows it makes me cry but I do not like to cry in front of her as it sets her off too.

He died in the same ward as I had been on just 2 days before and I had fought tooth and nail to be allowed out and I did not know he was in - until someone came from my church and told me he had died. He had cuddled me just a week before while I was in the hospital.

My real father was (still is) an abosolute pig, and I hate him. I liked, then came to love my step-father because I could talk to him about anything! We went through a lot together. He was not perfect, I realise that, but who is. We even had the same illness, I lived, he died.

Trouble is, I cannot stop crying when I think about him, and hear his voice on tape - like now. What can I do?

I cannot go to his grave as we took him back to another country - and get lost every time we go back!

I cannot talk to him as my belief is thoroughly Christian and Christs teaching forbids communication with dead spirits.

Answer 1

I have lost both my parents when i was ten years old, even to this day..everyday I think of them, I miss them when I am happy or sad...11 years later and i still feel the loss.
My advise to you is to keep playing that tape, have a good cry ''tears do heal''
DAD, so many images come to mind,
Whenever I speak your name.
It seems without you in my life,
Things have never been the same.
At times I'm filled with longing,
Your face I'd love to see.
To feel your warmth, to hear your voice,
To have you here with me.
No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say good-bye.
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why.
I try not cry for you,
You're in God's loving care.
Just tell me how I can go on
And never have you here.
I will think of you as resting,
From the sorrows and the tears.
A place of warmth and comfort,
Where there are no days and years.
The years have passed so quickly
And still I miss you so.
There are times I can hardly wait,
Until it's my time to go.
You left us peaceful memories,
Your love is still my guide.
Although I cannot see you,
You are always by my side.
(C)
I hope you get some comfort in reading this poem, its not much but I believe we all will see our loved ones some day. (((hugs))) to mum and yourself. Keep Strong

Answer 2

Every one who comes here into this World has to go. It is but the law of the Lord...Breavement becomes all the more accute when your mind is idle.It becomes a devil's workshop.Engage yourself any type of activity which is close to your heart so that you forget your self and forget the breavement,Do some constuctive work. Try to help others like you in bereavement. Do good things to others and they will come back multifold.

Prayer is another balm to soothen your heart in bereavement.Pray for your departed step father's soul.Pray to the Lord just for His sake execting nothing, begging nothng out of Him .Just LOVE Him and bow down for all good things he has bestowed on you. Think of so many less fortnate brothers and sisters in the world, Be Thankful to the Lord for all that HE has has given. Read a few passages from the scripture and dwelve upon the meaning.
After all TIME is the ONLY sure medicine to heal you. May GOD bless you

Answer 3

Look into a grief counseling group. They can be a tremendous help. Call a hospice near you and ask for them to recommend one to you. If not, call a church and hopefully they will be able to help.
I lost my sister-in-law (my best friend) over 20 years ago and it still makes me very sad, but the group has helped. Realize that sometimes when we lose someone, we're never the same. Be glad that you had him in your life and that you loved each other. Good luck.

Answer 4

Go to his grave,spend time there as often as possible,talk to him,you will feel at peace.God go with you.

Answer 5

prey to god to give you the strength to bear it.pray to Him[GOD] to give your step father a better life in next birth.

Answer 6

Time makes coping better and it varies from person to person.