we love each other so much and we have a long distence relationship so we only get to see each other once a year. we have been together for almost 5 years. well he wants to go on this band thing to california. and i really dont want him to go because i wount even be able to talk to him. he asked me the other night if i wanted him to go and i said no. he said ok that he wount. but i know he does because last night he told me he would reather go to band thing then spend time with me this summer. i dont know what to do i love him so much and i put him ahead of everything in my life. he still says that if i say no he wount go but i know he wants to go. dont know what to do plz help!!!!
2007-02-10 04:11:49 · 20 answers · asked by kim 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you have been together for 5 years and you only see each other once a year?! Sorry, but this is not a relationship. I say let him go on his band thing and stop putting him ahead of things in your life, friends are for life but boyfriends have an expire date.
2007-02-18 00:36:38 · answer #1 · answered by ice_ice_baby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See you put him ahead of everything in your life. This would be a great oportunity for the both of you. Let him go! Maybe you two could set a time for talking on the phone each week or something. But this would give you a chance to put yourself first and give you a chance to do some things you haven't gotten to do. Enjoy it!
2007-02-15 22:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by l_peplow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him go--keeping him from doing something he obviously truly wants is both selfish and indicative of an unhealthy relationship. He will end up resenting you if you continue to demand he give up something he really wants.
Say he honors your demand and stays. And his bandmates make it huge, while he is back in Hometown, USA with you because you told him not to go. He is going to resent you for keeping him from what might've been. Even if nothing happens with his band, all during the time he spends with you, he will be thinking of 'what if' he went out to California, and possibly end up resenting you for denying him his chance.
You are his girlfriend. If you really love him, you should be interested in what is best for him, not what makes you happiest, and what is best for him is leaving you for a little while to follow his dreams. You should be his biggest fan and supporter, willing to sacrifice to keep him happy and to support his dream. Demanding he forgo what might be the experience of a lifetime to stay home with you is selfish and unsupportive of his dreams. Change your tune, tell him he should go and that he should have an amazing time.
You are putting a lot of stress on the poor boy by demanding, essentially, that he choose between you and his dreams. And that is not fair.
2007-02-10 04:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to go let him go. Otherwise you will feel guilty and he will be upset, which will cause problems in your relationship. Support your man and try to come to the understanding that you guys should become good friends with the possibility of getting back together in the future.
2007-02-17 01:48:07 · answer #4 · answered by someadvice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go...He asked you so that you can have some type of say so in what he does...If you start controlling what he does trust me when I say that he will begin to see a pattern and will more than likely end it with you. So be a good girlfriend and tell him to go...who knows maybe he will come home for a couple of weeks or maybe even send you a ticket to come and see him....
Good luck
2007-02-10 04:58:54 · answer #5 · answered by lady_tee_76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh, youth. Don't be like that, you have a long distance relationship and it seems to be working for you. Don't be selfish, do you realize how much more he will love you if you show him his happiness means more to you. Don't do it to him and yourself it isn't for a life time. You must be very young and insecure, time to grow up, I mean that nicely. I think the guy is terrific for doing what makes you happy. Let go and trust and wish him well and you will be waiting for his return...
2007-02-17 22:42:41 · answer #6 · answered by brown eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO WITH HIM!!! I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION IS, BUT A 5 YEAR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOU ONLY SEE EACHOTHER ONCE A YEAR SEEMS TO NEED A SHOT OF "SEEING EACHOTHER MORE" AND GOING WITH HIM TO "THIS BAND THING" IN CALIFORNIA MAY BE THE BEST THING FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP. IF ITS SO IMPORTANT TO HIM, KEEPING HIM FROM IT IS WRONG. GOING WITH HIM MIGHT SHOW HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO YOU, AND WHO KNOWS, MAYBE A 5 YEAR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP CAN TURN INTO A MARRIAGE? WOULD MAKE IT EASIER TO SEE EACHOTHER.
2007-02-15 06:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by YouKnowImRight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You see each other once a year?!
So, basically you're asking him to give up a possible future employment opportunity b/c the both of you can't get your acts together to see more of one another?
If you loved him, you wouldn't ask him to give it up. If he loved you, he'd make more of an effort to see you more.
2007-02-16 05:59:35 · answer #8 · answered by Slimslimmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to go and then suck it up. Life is too short to not do what you love. If he doesn't go, then later he will hold it against you, saying, "I could have been in this band, if it weren't for you, I gave up what I wanted most for you." You don't want that responsibility.
2007-02-10 04:25:14 · answer #9 · answered by DisIllusioned 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well like the other girls said you need tolet him go do this band and pluse a long distens relationships are hard but on this one you have to let him do this band thing hang in there girl it will be ok
2007-02-17 12:21:42 · answer #10 · answered by trixie6965@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋