I yearly visit my grandmother in another state and my aunt is usually there at the same time. We will go out to dinner with my folks and my aunt never offers to pay, always assumes my father or I will pay. I am the only one working, others are retired, but it doesn't seem fair that I always pick up the tab. Any suggestions?
2007-02-10 04:01:48 · 10 answers · asked by sei 1 in Dining Out ➔ Other - Dining Out
When push comes to shove, she will pay. One easy way is to ask for the check and divide it evenly among all in the party and waive off payment from your grandmother and just pass the check in its plastic plate around for everyone to contribute their portion. This makes it easier than looking at meal costs separately and it re-kindles family bonding. However, some people like to take it all in...perhaps a talk in advance of going out would help. If the risk is too great for causing a stir, the just lose graciously and be glad to have the time together. People tend to hold on to their "bad" habit until challenged. Use your best judgment.
2007-02-10 04:13:42 · answer #1 · answered by Joseph H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one has considered this. Does the aunt think that she is an "invited guest" at these annual dinners? If she does, she should not be expected to pay. You might get around this by asking her if she would be in to taking your grandmother out with the rest of you. If she commits to this then she obliged to chip in.
Also remember that a lot of older ladies are simply not accustomed to paying for dinners. These are the same ones that always expected the "man" to drive the car, take out the trash and shovel the snow. She just might be from that mind-set. You're not going to change that now.
Finally, if she IS loaded, your buying her a meal once a year might just be the act of kindness that gets you a terrific mention in the old bag's will.
2007-02-13 19:13:00 · answer #2 · answered by DANIEL R T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you visit your grandma and that your aunt is usually there at the same time, is it possible that maybe your aunt enjoys your company and never thinks it would bother you to pay for her dinner even though it is ONCE a year?
But since you asked the question why don't you suggest to your parents that this year you want to do something different and say that you want to try to split the tab and see how they react, if they agree then problem solved, however if they are not keen to the idea try to go to someplace that is not to expensive.
2007-02-10 09:40:34 · answer #3 · answered by Jane_Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well is it possible that this aunt doesn't really have any money and or friends? I mean does she go by because she is expecting the free meal. Or is she stopping by as she would like to see you and your family as well as she hasn't seen you in the last year. But IF she is there only to mooch a free meal, then you might want to sit down with her and tell her that you and your mom and dad are taking out grandma and you would like for her to go, BUT you just can't afford the extra meal. So if she would like to go she will have to pay for her own meal. BUT my own belief is get over it. She will soon enough be gone from this world. ONCE she is gone, well that is forever. You'll never get to see her again. So enjoy what time you can with her now, as you do with grandma. Good Luck.
2007-02-10 04:14:58 · answer #4 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who expect other people to pay for their meal usually have enough money to pay for their own meal and every one else's at the table twice over. That is how they saved their money. When the bill comes, say " your bill comes to $--.-- Aunt whatever. That will make it harder for her to wiggle out of her share.
2007-02-13 01:22:11 · answer #5 · answered by starflower 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divide the check by the # of people at the table. Then tell everyone how much they owe. you can say " Grandma I'm buying your dinner tonight.
2007-02-11 07:55:29 · answer #6 · answered by Vic 420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she is invited to go with your family, it would be appropriate to say something like "We plan to divide the bill equally among all of us. Is that agreeable with you?" However, ONCE A YEAR???
2007-02-10 04:11:18 · answer #7 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't give her an option, warn your parents ahead of time, and just ask the waitress to give you seperate tickets. if she's invited out, then it probably rude, but if she invites herself, then she can pay too! you can always swipe your parents' tab when she isn't looking and pay for theirs.
2007-02-10 04:30:16 · answer #8 · answered by Taia 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Difficult situation, but c'mon.. is just once a year... I'm sure everyone is grateful to you.
2007-02-10 14:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by sway2021 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that would really be hard to do
2007-02-14 02:02:13 · answer #10 · answered by jerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋