In the past week 2 of my friends commited suicide! One overdosed on heroin and the other jumped of the rook of my 3 story school! I just want to hold them and say everything will be okay, I love you, don't do it! I feel like a horrible person, how did I not see the signs???? Its my fault if I stopped them they would still be here, I'm too late, one was 18 the other 16 they are too young! I miss them!!!!!
2007-02-10 03:58:47 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I'm 14 years old
2007-02-10 04:04:45 · update #1
Unless you are a psychic, you couldn't have know, but you do need to talk to someone about your feelings. You are not responsible, and you need to understand it was beyond your control, regardless of how good of Friends you were.
2007-02-10 04:04:59 · answer #1 · answered by Boston Bluefish 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People who commit suicide seldom show signs at all before they kill themselves. But no matter what their reason is, from what you said up there, why do you blame yourself dear? Did you do something to have made them do that? If not, then you are not at fault. Don't ever think that way.
No one wants to see this sort of thing happen, and if you feel bad about it, it is just because you are a real good friend that they have had. And I'm sorry that they did not realize that before it's too late.
Don't blame yourself, remember how you have wanted to be there for them, how you are feeling at this very moment, the memories, the emotions, and try to bring these positive feelings towards those that are still alive now.
It is too late to try and show more love for them, but it is very brave of you to share this on the internet. It is a very brave thing to admit your love and a feeling of guilt (although you shouldn't feel that way because it is not your fault sweetheart) for your passed friends. That is not easy to do. Most people would have blamed everything else and hidden away to cry, but you are facing this mixed feeling head on right now. So remember this moment, and begin caring for those still here around you. Show your concern and love for their family, for your other friends, your family, even try volunteering, and soon you will grow to know that you can be there when people need you the next time.
I'm really glad there's you in this world. You are only 14. There's so much you can learn from this and bring that love in you for so many people. I'm sure everyone these two friends of yours had known would miss them too. Show your support for them. Be there.
Cheer up. You can do it!
Hugs.
2007-02-10 04:24:18 · answer #2 · answered by DewBreeze 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, right now you are in a very emotional, confused and mournful state. Please don't blame these two very tragic losses on yourself though. Many people have downs and are sad and this doesn't mean they are about to commit suicide. You couldn't have known; I know this for a fact, because if you really did suspect two of your friends would commit suicide, you would have stopped them. I can't imagine losing my close friends and my heart goes out to you. Recognize that many people (like yourself) blame themselves, cause it's often easier to blame someone (even if it is yourself) than have no one to blame at all. And it's just human to say - What if I'd stopped them?? What if,what if... But let these feelings go; they're gone and there's nothing you can do. It would probably be a good idea to talk to someone (perhaps a councellor) about your feelings. Be strong and remember your two friends will forever live in your heart and if you loved them, you'll forever continue too - love doesn't die.
2007-02-10 10:47:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG I'm so sorry. You should really blame yourself. Sometimes there are no signs that something like this is going to happen. Someone I know had a friend (that I didnt know) that killed themselves. The thing that shocked my friend the most was that there were no signs. They acted normally until the end. My father knew someone at work, he said he seemed normal until he stopped on a bridge and jumped. Both were unable to tell any signs. We aren't psychics, we cant read minds and we cant tell how people act when they are alone. Stop blaming yourself and remember, you aren't alone in these situations. Reaching out to others in the same situation as you may help.
2007-02-10 05:06:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey I feel guilty for the billions of kids that die because of rich people's greed. Disease, murder, starvation etc etc.
Please don't think that I'm not sympathetic For fifteen horrid years I have hoped to not wake up and have been seconds from suicide six times but have had the responsibility (for my kid's health) and the conscience not to let something outside get me down. I'll die (and I'm pretty sure I will ) on my own terms and not make some poor friend or relative feel bad about it.
Now, if you can love a stranger that's me, and learn to love the opportunities left in your life please do. And remember that blame, like hate eventually consume you!
Love and remember the many good times and not the few seconds that were bad!
2007-02-10 04:17:32 · answer #5 · answered by salubrious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can NEVER blame yourself. You are way too YOUNG. I can't even fathom being 14 years old and feeling sooo horrible. You must not and CANNOT blame yourself. You might want to talk to someone older, perhaps a parent, or a friend's parent....SOMEONE, or call a free hot-line. You are way, way too young, as I said earlier to feel this way.
I hope this helps. Try, if it's possible to GET out of the places your friends have been to, i.e, the DRUGS........ugh!!!!!!!SAVE yourself, your WHOLE LIFE is in front of you.
You are just a CHILD with a broken heart, and I can feel your pain, but you must try to DO WHAT'S RIGHT for you.
2007-02-10 04:17:23 · answer #6 · answered by luvbooksswak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could not have known this. If one was on drugs, eventually it was goin to happen anyway and the other one that jumped had problems that they couldnt handle and didnt get help. Its a shame you feel that way. How can it possibly be your fault.
Talk about it with your parents. Maybe you can get some councelling to make you feel better. Time will help you.
2007-02-10 04:10:25 · answer #7 · answered by nikogal2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is in no way your fault! I recently had a friend commit suicide, and he was the last person on earth that I ever thought would do such a thing. It's natural to feel bad and miss them, but do not ever feel responsible. What they did was their fault, and their fault alone!
2007-02-10 04:11:26 · answer #8 · answered by Answer Master Dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really is not your fault. If people are determined to do something they are
going to do it. Often if they are really
serious they will not give you a clue.
It is the ones who give you a clue who
need your hugs, because they are
still looking for reasons to stay here
on earth.
It is hard to lose friends, especially in
such a shocking way... but there are
times when we must just look in the
other direction and go on with our lives
and affirm life in the way we like and
choose.
peace
2007-02-10 04:07:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have my deepest sympathies, I have worked with others and thought i was close to who have committed suicide and asked similar questions. You must not blame yourself, you could not be with those friends 24 hours a day and often they hide their symptoms. Just try to focus on the good times you had with them, but i know that is very hard to do.
2007-02-10 04:07:01 · answer #10 · answered by Rancher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You r not a horrible person! its not your fault i mean ppl in this world just wanna reach out and then its to late.But it was their choice and its not @ all your fault! I guess to them it was time to leave but don`t beat your-self down about it,There are no signs no one knows when some one could commit suicide it just happens but its ok and its gunna be fine.
2007-02-10 04:11:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋