I've recently discovered that the man I love and adore doesn't want kids ,but I desperately DO!?

Question

Should we break up or shall I leave the subject alone and see what happens?

I do love him. Lots.

We are both over 35. I have been married and divorced and don't want another marriage. I can live without that. I can't live without becoming a mother though.

Answer 1

I divorced my husband ecause of this ( he changed his mind about wanting to have kids) and met someone who was much better suited for me and now I have a beautiful 10 month old who is such a joy.

Maybe this is a sign he is not the one.

Answer 2

Break it off. Here is the reason my aunt married someone who didn't want kids. Anyways, she got pregnant using birth control, he(my uncle told her to have an abortion). She moved in with my grandmother and payed for all the medical bills and kid stuff on her own.They got back together, they have 3 kids, more like she has 3 kids.She pays for all the kids stuff NOT him. She has her own job and has it made but her hubby has never been into the kids. OH, by the way after 30 yrs of marriage there getting a divorce

Answer 3

I think a lot of that depends on how young you two are. Also, you aren't even married. A lot of younger people will say that, then down the road they really do want kids. People change as they age. But, that is a risk you take by staying with him. He may never change his mind.

Then at 35, you know what you want. I suggest that if you are serious about wanting kids, you are going to have to find someone who wants kids too. I know it requires you to start over again, but this guy doesn't want any. If you stay with him, you will only resent him later in life when you still don't have any kids.

Answer 4

Look im with someone who didnt want children and i had to choose either him or children with someone i felt i would never love as much as i love my partner. I chose him because there is no point separating from someone and looking for someone else when you feel you have found the right person even if he doenst want children. Anyway now he has changed his mind and we are trying. Give it time if you love him. Otherwise you may go with someone else have children but always regret your decision and it will just be an unhappy life for you and the child you bring into the world. Good luck

Answer 5

Don't think he's the one for you. For heavens sake don't have an accident it really won't change his mind, just leave you and your child in a mess, sometimes as men get older they do change their minds but you can't plan your life around that. Do you know love an adore sounds a bit smothering,perhaps it's me. May be if you backed off a bit. The thought of you and a child might be just a bit too much. Good luck

Answer 6

Talking from experience, if you really love this man as much as you say you do, PLEASE find out if you are able to have children before you make a decision to leave or not.

I had an on-again off-again relationship for 4 yrs with a guy who did not want children but I desperately wanted them. We finally ended our relationship for good knowing that one was never gonna be happy.

Turns out, we could have stayed together. I could not have children.

In the end, I found the man of my dreams with someone else and have 2 step-children.

Answer 7

You have to love him so much that you'll be happy even if you don't have kids. Please don't marry him assuming he'll eventually change his mind. Because it's very likely that he won't change his mind. I have a friend who married her husband 15 years ago assuming he'd change his mind, and he never did. She's still happy, but I know she is really disappointed....I have another friend who is engaged to marry an older man, and he might not want to have more kids (his kids are grown). She told me that he is so wonderful that she'll feel fulfilled even if she doesn't have kids.

So, given those thoughts, search your hearts for the answer. I can't give you the answer. Good luck.

Answer 8

you are able to't in any respect tell how someone elses relationship is in basic terms by technique of searching at them as I surely have considered human beings like that too and they did not make it. That reported What do i imagine the characteristics a guy looks for in a lady: self positive, has her personal id, complication-free, being concerned, unselfish, supportive, not petty, does not nag, prepared to have sex usually devoid of the guy having to beg for it, retains herself up bodily (does not allow herself flow after she receives right into a sturdy relationship).

Answer 9

How old r u . I ask because I've seen this before.Guy or girl early on doesn't want kids , there dead set against it , they brake up and years down the road guess they have a kid and are proud as punch. Sometimes ones mind can be changed and sometimes little accidents happen. hehe.

Answer 10

He wants no responsibility and that does not bode well for a future together. Stay with him for a while and be in love it's great as he might change his mind about kids , but there will be a time to choose your long term future

Answer 11

I think that when a man and a woman are in love and make love, the thought of baby comes in second. Primacy of making baby is never the subject of love. I think the man is afraid of commitment and being responsible for the consequence of love. I find many of my male friends being afraid of such responsibility and commitment. I guess if his intension is to just have sex and not deal with its consequences, then he is not your man and you are not his woman. I hope this thought helps.