Affair with a younger coworker?

Question

I am thinking about "starting" an affair with a younger coworker.
I love my husband, but this man at work is so attractive I cannot stop thinking about him. He is younger than me. He is like 24, I am 29 and my husband will be 33 in 2 weeks.
I deeply lve my husband, but I feel passion for this young guy. I dont even know if he will be "willing" to be with me, but I dont want an emotional attachment. Just passion, my life is very busy, I work 2 jobs and I take care of my house and of my husband, but he is not romantic in any way. I love him, a lot, and I dont want to hurt him, ever. i will never consider leaving him. I just want to feel wanted and desired. That is all.
Just some fun.
And besides that might not even happen because this guy, I have not idea if he likes me or not.
ANy advice?

Answer 1

Let me tell you a story... It's worth reading because maybe, just maybe it will make you think before you act, which everyone knows that with each action, there is a reaction from each "unit" around the "base" people, thus - you and your married co-worker to which you have formed merely a sexual fantasy for...

I'm 30 by the way... Attractive mom of 3... I'm a size 4 at 5'7" and long hair, pretty face, trendy, pta mom, i sew, i cook, i LOVE affection & the bedroom, i am open minded, laid back, smart, funny, serious, and yet I live with a construction worker who I've spent the last 10 years with and given birth to 3 of his children and he screws me over each chance he can, whether it be consuming the golf course for days in a row or just plain "working". This man does not take me ANYWHERE. I am a 24/7 MOM, and being a woman, you know at age 30, we need to feel "sexy"...

Knowing this, here is my story... 5 years ago my husband left for work one saturday morning as usual... We had relations the night b4. I cooked dinner just as I always did and he Vegged out on the couch watching TV as he always did.

To make a long story short, my husband helped the new (also married w 4 kids) secretary that morning and he screwed her.

He CAME home, let me believe nothing happened, I left for 1 hour to take my kids to the sitters, and when I came back... He was gone. No note, nothing missing, he was just gone. I looked and looked for him and finally hit redial on the phone, a woman answered. The secretary. I still had no clue. It took me about 2 hours to figure it all out. I paced the floors... I cried... I lost my mind! 3 days later, she dropped him off at the end of the rd. and he walked up to our home being proud and arogant to pick up his things and take our only vehicle. He moved in with her that night. (Her hubby was stationed overseas)
I, being a stay at home mom, lost my home, had to rely on his family to help me while he lived with her for 2 months and rubbed every last detail in my face. I was so nice, never yelled, never got upset, just cried in disbelief.
I even talked to the woman, and u know that everything I needed so badly from my husband, she complained of the same things from her husband, and yet she didn't even care that we were homeless because she had to come on to a co-worker.
He did come back eventually, though he treated me so terribly that we split up several times after and to this day 5 years later, he still cuts me off, belittles me, and makes me feel that his affair was my fault.
When in all reality I only wanted my OWN husband to be the one to see the sexy side of me.
It's gotten so much worse, but yet there are good days here and there.
But we still fight about this, and our kids are so great and yet if time could only go back and the tempation was avoided.

It always starts out with two people comparing spouses and then the topic of what's lacking at home, and then the sex...

But really, good sex at home takes communication between spouses, and living with someone who forgets your 10 year anniversary or birthday is not exactly what a wife needs to feel wanted and loved and of course sexy.

Sometimes it's best to dismiss things as a passing thought and let it go... This is one of those times when you need to look at the big picture. Your not just affecting 2 people.

There are PLENTY of SEXY SINGLE men out there if you just look, but I would choose first... Single Life? Married Life?

It all depends on who you are as a person as to the way you want to be living right now, but you HAVE to do things right or else in the end you'll only be screwing yourself.

Answer 2

Do you have any children? If you do not have any child get out of this marriage and stay single and never marry just have fun in life you are not ready for a marriage commitment. you are too immature. If you truly love your husband you wouldn't be thinking of doing this to him or your marriage two weeks be fore his birthday.No No No If you do this you will throw away your marriage. There was some thing in the beginning with your husband work 0n getting it back Communication is most important. most men are easy. Give us love and make us feel we are the # 1 and then asks us what you want and it will be yours.If your man wasn't romantic in the beginning you will have to work harder. If he was romantic you need to put the spark back in the marriage. I have faith in you. You have a challenge. Lets see if you can make your husband more passionate towards you. Think of ways you can make him romantic there will always be younger man and younger women. Good luck you can make you husband any thing you want with less effort then being with an affair.

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Affair with a younger coworker?
I am thinking about "starting" an affair with a younger coworker.
I love my husband, but this man at work is so attractive I cannot stop thinking about him. He is younger than me. He is like 24, I am 29 and my husband will be 33 in 2 weeks.
I deeply lve my husband, but I feel passion...

Answer 4

Sounds to me as if you are doing just what most people do anymore. You are giving yourself excuses to do what you want to do. You try to say how you love your husband but at the same time showing that you are simply common and love yourself more then anyone. It is also my guess that you dont mind hurting your husband or anyone else, you just dont want to have to pay the price if you do so and you dont want to be viewed badly for doing so. Be honest.

Look, a person can always find a reason or justification to excuse them for poor behavior. A person can tell themselves they are a good person all they want. They can tell everyone else that they are a good person. But I can tell everyone I am a hummingbird too. The proof comes when it is time to fly.

Look, you made a commitment here, to God, your husband and yourself. End of story. Also, I am sure that you had a good idea of how your husband was before you got married. If you didnt look or did not pay attention, that is as much your fault as his. Doesnt he have a right to be himself just as you are you?

Lastly, examine if you are someone that recognizes the ways in which he might be romantic, you just dont realize his ways. Plus, maybe he isnt all that romantic for you, for you dont earn or deserve it. Bet that never crossed your mind now did it?

Stop being typical. Do what you are suppose to do, what you promised to do and stop making excuses. There are always things we can complain about, to help us do wrong.

Answer 5

Bad, bad, bad idea on so many fronts!! Do not act on these impulses! First, there is obviously something missing in your marriage, even though you say you love your husband. If you love him, you need to fix your marriage and not betray his trust and complicate your life in the worst possible way. You could end up divorced. Insist on marriage counseling or go by yourself. Second, and just as important, if you approach the co-worker, you could be setting yourself of up a charge of sexual harassment and the loss of your job. Worse yet, if he goes along with it, there is no hope for the relationship to last and then you'd be stuck working in close proximity to an ex-lover and any residual hard feelings when the relationship falls apart. Not only that, but workplaces are gossip mills of the worst kind. Your reputation would be ruined and your promotability prospects would be over. I could go on and on but you get the picture. Taking that step would doom you to any number of failures. Find solutions to your marriage problems and then make the decisions that are going to benefit more than your libido.

Answer 6

You love your husband, wouldn't leave him, and don't want to hurt him. So, you're gonna start banging a guy at work. Sounds like a great plan. Heck, why not start shooting heroin, if you want to screw up your life? Oh, I forgot, you work two jobs. So, of course hubby will understand when your playmate's wife or girlfriends knocks on the door to tell him his wife is screwing her husband. Perhaps I misunderstand the situation, and am wrong about how this will play out. Maybe it'll turn out great, and sleeping around will make you a better wife, a more moral person, and just an all around example of proper behavior, and a role model for your children. But, I doubt it.

Answer 7

If it is just stress relieving sex you want, I can help, other wise don't do it, how would you feel if he did it to you? Don't become a slut because once you go down that road, that guy your lusting about will talk about you and suddenly every guy in the office will be looking at you as the easy catch one nighter. Guys like to brag about thier quests and who they have done. Not a pretty picture.
So your husband doesn't display these feeling of affection and passion, you knew him when you married him, did you not see this at the time you said I do? Point is think about the ramifications if your husband finds out and files for divorce all because you could not control your lust. Suggestion, go out and purchase a vibrator and long lasting batteries before you and your crush mess up you and your husbands life forever. Good luck.

Answer 8

If you want to be with someone else, the divorce courts will gladly take yet another petition. If you want to stay married, go to work, come home and live with the choice you made and the vows you repeated.
I would advise that you apply your efforts to spicing up your life with hubby. Also, at 24, he might be emotionally immature. There's nothing like a possible blabbermouth to ruin your career and your marriage at the same time.
Sleeping with the younger man could RUIN YOUR LIFE.
You and that hubby should take a trip together without the kids. No clothing allowed after the hotel room door is closed.
Just say my on screen name. Look that man in the eye and say,

Letsgetbusy

Answer 9

If you choose to do so you will regret it. I am only telling you this because I have made this mistake and hurt my husband like I never imagined I could ever hurt anyone. If you want more romance in your life you need to communicate with your husband. You claim you love your husband, but if you follow through with this you do not love him like you think. Love does not allow you to actually put your husband in a situation that he may get deeply hurt like he would be once he found out. You would be better off leaving your husband than cheating on him.

Answer 10

Great another marriage down the drain ! what a wonderful world. How would you like it if your husband cheated onyou ?? bet that would make you feel great. and you say you love your husband, thats funny. if you have time for an affair, then you have time for your husband, take the effort you want to put into this guy and use it on the man you claim tolove so very much. they say the grass is greener on the other side, how about taking care of your own lawn ?