I like a guy a lot but there's a lot of things about him that aren't too good...?

Question

so he's called chris and he's 17 and i'm 16.

but i really really really like him he's sweet, kind, funny, smart, he's so awesome! then last night me and my friends and his friends all camped out (insane i know...) but it was fun and we got talking and he told me he liked me and asked me out.....

he's a really nice person most of the time but sometimes he's very critical of people, sarcastic and various other things. so a lot of the time he's not very nice but i know he doesn't mean to and when he realises he's doing it he stoppes and says sorry but it's really hurtful to people...it's not like he's a nasty person, the situation is just very hard to explain. can i stop this? i really don't like it.....ohhh i'm confused. what should i do?

Answer 1

You have it backwards: He's a jerk who sometimes manages to act sweet. He does mean to be that way because he enjoys belittling other people. It's how he feels good. He's not "sorry" he just says that to get people to hang around with him.
He IS a nasty person, but you feel the need to rescue him, make him feel better, change him, love him into a sweet person... forget it. Move on.
He's very critical of people, sarcastic, not very nice, really hurtful to people and a nasty person. You'll be sorry if you go out with him.

Besides-- what makes you think it's your responsibility or obligation to try to change him or even feel the need to tolerate bad behavior? His attitude is not your problem. Don't make it your problem.

Answer 2

Usually when two people are getting to know each other they are on their best behavior and their "true selves" don't start surfacing until about 6 months into the relationship; if he is doing this and you are not in a relationship it is an early warning sign.

You can't change him unless he truly wants to change and the only way to try is to approach him about what a great guy he is until you see him do "(insert example of bad behavior here) and you know he doesn't mean to be cruel, but sometimes he really hurts people's feelings and you know he is a better person than that. When he is good to people, praise him for it; if not, withhold your praise. Hopefully, he will try to live up to a higher standard based on praise, not punishment.

Some fellas will fake it to stay in a relationship, but not for long as after few months if they truly don't want to change they will feel like they are not being themselves and will either end the relationship or their true nature will start coming out.

Answer 3

You should take to heart what the people are telling you here! The negative aspects of Chris IS in his character, and sure he can be nice sometimes, but, this doesn't make a good BF/Mate, because once you get to know each other, he'll act the same way towards you, AND more often, and THEN, you won't want to take it anymore!

You can be friends with him, but that's all he's capable of!
From experience, I used to ignore those kinds of signs in guys and I'd like them no matter what----thinking I could change them over time, BUT, it doesn't happen! You fall for them, and next comes heartache, SOOOO, since you're young, don't settle for 1 guy:; there are many out there who are good natured and sweet, and in time you can find 1! OK?

1 note, avoid these "belittling" kind of guys! Now you know what to watch for! Be choosy and meet guys who will be good TO YOU and FOR YOU!

Good luck!

Answer 4

It is all attitude and u did describe he's a really nice person. He may not be critical of people maybe he just don't agree with other injustice issue. If u like him why u r bothering about that. As long both of like and understand each other your relationship will go along very well. Human all not a God, without realize in daily life we will hurt by talking something which we don't mean to hurt our frens. So be happy with your fren and let him know when he did talk something mean in very good manner. That will relief u.

Answer 5

First of all "WE CAN'T CHANGE OTHERS". you said he makes remarks and then say he sorry. but you say he is awesome, being sorry meaning not to do that again, but for you to say that he does this over again. show his lack of compassion for others, and shows how high his ego is within itself. any self respecting person or sweet (as you called him) that knows he is hurting others and doesn't put an end to it for good, they are not a good. sweet and definitely not a funny person at all. So maybe because of the likeness you have for this person it is blinding you from seeing this person's true character. If you really want someone that is really a nice person, get someone that has morals and feeling for others....It could just be that you like his " BAD BOY ATTITUDE...........BUT how long will it be before he start to treat you the same? Good Luck

Answer 6

you're too young dear. anyway, so you like this guy. i have this suitor who's just like him. i hate him. nah, it's not that i hate him but i REALLY REALLY don't like him. nah. i mean his attitude. anyway, he's so frank * to the extent that he hurts the feelings of others* and soooooooooooo mean. *yeah mean! as in mean!* he loves to say bad things. so my first impression to him is so like a hell-no-to-my-friendlist!

but there was this time that i'm so sad. 0f all the people he's the FIRST one who asked me if i'm ok. he even told me this, "phy, *he used on calling people hey* if there is something i can do for you just tell. you look ugly when your sad." i was shocked cause i saw the sincerity in his eyes. he never leave my side that day he's not saying anything, though. before i gone to my bed, i received a message from him saying "i hope everything will be fine." and i've seen the other side of him. he's nice and sweet. he just love to bully but he's a very goodfriend. he would protect me from anyone who will try to hurt me or give me pain.

it's like, nobody's perfect. even how nice, great person there will always be this not-so-good-attitude. if he really likes you, he can lessen his bad habits. help him change for good but never DICTATE neither FORCE him to change. just help him, ok?! if you don't like him because of his attitude, maybe you just really don't like him. =) cheer up. don't be confused. there's more important things than this and that is your studies! ^_^ smiLe!

Answer 7

This guy is acting like that during the "courting" stage? imagine how he's going to act 6 months down the road when he's comfortable. YUCK, he's not a keeper, why would you want a dog you have to train, when there are so many out there ready for a home?

Answer 8

Well, if u like him and he likes u thats awesome! But if he has some problems being nice at times, maybe u can change him. Go out with him and try to make his bad behavers stop. If u really like him and u try hard u can do it!

Answer 9

Some guys (Chris) talk alot of crap to make you laugh, and sometimes this really works on girls. If you dont like it, and you keep telling him to stop, eventually he will. You just got to give it time; guys can be really cocky and when he likes you, he will put down any guy that he considers as a threat to him!

Answer 10

Don't think you're going to change him. The only reason he says he's sorry is that he's trying to impress you and realizes you won't like him if you see his hateful side. If you go out with him, soon the romance will wear off and he'll be saying hateful things to you or about you...