Moving out at 17 with a child, in New Hampshire?

Question

I am 17 years old, and just had a baby boy last month. I dont turn 18 until August, which is far too long. I currently live with my step-dad and his wife because my mom is deceased. They have guardian ship of me. My baby's dad is not allowed in our house, and he is hardly allowed to see his son. We plan on getting married whenever we can, but even before then I need to get out of the hell hold I live in. Any suggestions. Is it legal?

Answer 1

I live in New Hampshire...

I'm pretty sure you're only allowed to move out of your guardians home once you're 18 unless you get emancipated, as the person above mentioned. You'd have to take your stepfather to court and you'd have to prove to the Judge that you have a steady job so you can definitely support your child, and if you move in with the father he'll probably have to go and prove that he also has a steady job and home to support the child. It's a really big hassle and it would be months before your case would even make it into Court.

I moved out of my mom's and into my boyfriend's family's house when I was 16, but I had my mother's permission. I still had to go to school where my mom lived, though, and that was tough. I thought about either getting emancipated or having my boyfriend's mother adopt me so I could go to school with my boyfriend in the town I was living in, but I decided to just wait until my birthday. I turned 18 before my case ever would've gone to Court. It would've taken a year!

It may be best and easiest to just wait it out and try and make the best out of the situation. Time goes by too fast and before you know it you'll be 18 and able to leave your stepfather's. But if you and your child are living in an abusive home (and even arguing between your stepfather and his wife could be considered abuse to you and your child) I would definitely think about taking this to Court. If it's a desperate situation you may get a Court case fairly quickly and could become emancipated.

Hope I could help! Feel free to email me if you need anyone to talk to.

* Ok, PLEASE, don't pay any attention to the woman below. That is awful information. First of all, she said herself that she doesn't know about New Hampshire. But then she says "All the police will do is talk to you and say your parents would like you to come home. But they cant make you." Those may be the laws over in Michigan, but they're not the same at all here in New Hampshire. It's true, they can't make you go home - but if the teen chooses to not go home they will be put into juvenile hall or jail until they either choose to go back with their parents or turn 18. You can contact your local police and find out for yourself, but don't take xxmilitarychikxx's information. That's not the way things are in New Hampshire. And the last thing you need is to get a arrested and be in jail when you have a child to take care of.

Answer 2

You can have yourself legally emancipated. You will need to consult an attorney to do so, but most offer no-cost consultations.

Legally, even though you have a child, you are still a minor. You are still the legal responsibililty of your guardians. An alternate to an attorney, perhaps you can call social services and ask what to do since there is a baby and the baby's father involved.

Bigger question; how are you going to support yourself and that baby if you move out? Babies are expensive & you don't state if you are working, intend to work, etc. You better sit down and think about everything before doing something you may regret.

Answer 3

despite the fact that you dont like the rules they have set for you in their home
have you considered the fact if you move out the Stable support system you are counting on for you and your baby will probably stop as well
Rent Grocerys Diapers Childcare $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Think carefully before you leave
The grass isnt really greener out there for a 17 yo mommy

Answer 4

I am not a lawyer and only a lawyer or possibly social services could accurately answer your question.

In some states, a person under 18 may be "emacipated" by having a child, getting married, supporting oneself, etc. By looking at the laws in NH, I could not find a provision for this. However, it appears that you have a right to petition to have your guardianship terminated or, alternatively, to have your guardian changed. If you decide to do the latter, try to pick some very responsible member of the community as your new proposed guardian. For instance, choose a respected teacher, pastor or mother who successfully raised several children. You could also ask social services to put you and your child in foster care, although that might not be ideal.

You will also need a way to support yourself. If your mother left you any money, you might need to find someone to be the guardian of the estate, i.e. to manage your money until you are 18. This could be the same person or a different person than the "guardian of the person".

Another issue is, who is the guardian of your child? Is your step-father the guardian of your child? It seems to me that it is not in the child's interest to be removed from the father. Even if the father is not perfect, unless he is actually dangerous to the child it is better for them to establish a good relationship now. If your step-father is the guardian for your child, then he has a legal right to keep the father away, otherwise, I doubt that he legally can do this. If there are concerns, the father (or his parents or an interested adult on his behalf) could go to the court to get an order of visitation. You could also petition the court to have the guardianship of your child assigned to another adult, either the father, if he is over 18, or his parents, another adult, even social services, etc. The child at least theoretically could still stay in your step-father's home, although this might not be practical.

If you wish to investigate these alternatives, I would call Child Protective services in your county as they would probably be able to give you some advice.

The best way to get this accomplished would be to find a knowledgeable lawyer, although it might be hard since you probably don't have a lot of money. You could try Legal Aid, or try walking into some lawyer's offices to see if you can find a sympathetic soul. A lawyer who does divorce work would probably be familiar with custody and guardianship issues. Social services might also be able to tell you about lawyers who do this type of work. One comment, it costs a lot to run an office and it will take a lot of time for the lawyer to help you. Try to pay the lawyer something eventually. I am not a lawyer but we need to appreciate people who do this type of underpaid and underappreciated work.

The most important issue that I see is that the father of your child cannot see his child. It is very important to keep the father involved. I guarantee that this will be important to the child later. One easy solution might be to try to find a sympathetic and knowledgeable adult to help you work out the issues with your step-father so that he will be more agreeable to letting the father visit. August is not really that far away, but, in the lifetime of a baby, it is a long time and the father shouldn't miss out on this.

Except for the need for your child to spend time with the father, consider whether you should just wait it out. You think August is a long time, but it really isn't. All of the above legal procedures could easily take until April or May or even longer. If there is a dangerous situation in your home, Child Protection can remove you immediately. However, almost every young person thinks that their parents are horrendous at age 16 or 17, but later they have a more sympathetic view. It sounds as though your step-father is at least providing a home for you, possibly at some sacrifice to himself in terms of money, privacy, etc. Maybe you should just sit down and ask your step-father to tell you about his life, his childhood, his work, his views on life, children, etc. Try not to judge or be defensive because, if you can just listen to your step-father, it will help you understand him and perhaps make him more sympathetic to you also.

Maybe it would be better to try to work hard at school, spend extra time with your child, and just avoid your parents if necessary. Alternatively, try to help out. Get a part-time job to save some money for an apartment so you can actually move out at 18. See if your boyfriend's parents will help out by coming over to pick up you and the child for a visit once or twice a week at their home.

These are just my thoughts, having dealt with these issues.

Answer 5

I don't know about NH. I am from MI and my twin left home at 17. My mother called the police and the police said they can't do anything about it because she is 17. All the police will do is talk to you and say your parents would like you to come home. But they cant make you.

Answer 6

No,get out the damn house and go see the father,let the chold see his father go by an apartment for you too,Wish u best wishes for your georgeous baby.

Answer 7

Sure