Chatting with women, keeps his email secret, missing work?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 1/2 years. We met online, he's from Seattle, me Milwaukee. It was great at first. Real and it felt honest. A year ago, it died. No sex, all the physicalness on his side stopped. He said it was him. I accepted that answer. Well, it's still stopped. No sex, little kisses good morning but the worst part is Myspace and emails. He keeps everything a secret. He's missed at least a day week from work for the past month. He says he's fixing or doing something at home (and he is home all day) but sits on the computer all day. He has 25 girls in his IM yahoo and now is chatting on Myspace. He says they are friends, but honestly they get more conversation and time with him then I do. He sleeps alot, takes a nap everyday at 4PM I get home at 5PM and make dinner, he sleeps. He says he's tired all the time and makes excuses not to have sex with me. I am very worried. HELP

Okay alot of you gave great answers, here's more. He talks to his family as if he's having a good life here. He has moved around alot. He says and others say he's always been like that, trying to find where he wants to be. This is the longest he has stayed in one place and his mom is just thrilled. But, he seems so bored. We use to go out with our friends, dancing, a few drinks, now he'd rather go out with the guys from work for drinks after work. He says Im invited but I work till 5 he only works till 3. He's obsessed with our fish tanks (salts). When I have brought up the online friends, says they are only friends. He acts so weird about the internet thing. He clears the history and tempoary internet files so I can't see what he's been doing online. He' use to work for Mircrosoft so he knows computers.

Answer 1

he has mentally and emotionally checked himself out of the relationship, he already shows signs of cheating, you need to dump him, move on and find someone else who is more compatible with you who will be willing to give you the type of relationship that you want and who will be honest with you about the things going on in their life.....

Answer 2

Spam is a direct result of visiting a site that is somehow similar to the sites he's receiving spam for. Bottom line, he wouldn't be receiving "dating spam" if he hadn't been to a dating site. What's more, he locks his cell phone. Honey, I'd check his cell records for strange numbers and I'd give those numbers a jingle to see who answers. Make sure to block your number before calling cause you don't want any weirdos calling you back. You might want to check credit card and bank statements to see if there are any unusual cash withdraws or purchases. Lastly, his behavior suddenly changed for a reason. This isn't coincidence. Stay alert and don't reveal everything that you've noticed. Talk to him, but if you notice gross discrepancies in his stories check it out. You might feel it's amoral to violate his privacy, but so is having an affair. You're his wife, you have the right to know what's going on. If you find nothing you can be reassured, but if you find something at least you can make an informed decision about the future. Good Luck, Dawn

Answer 3

It's time to call it quits love. It becomes very difficult when honesty and trust desert a relationship and you will only waste valuable time and effort while he has his cake and eats it. He obviously depends on you for food and keeping house which will soon graduate to shelter and all sorts. He is a user who moves around playing on women looking for love and relationships. Period. Be glad you have wizened up before his got you into debt and emotionally dependent. Do the right thing for you and suit yourself as he most definitely is. All the best.

Answer 4

wow.ok.first has your boyfriend ever cheated on another girl before? sometimes the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" is true.i think that you guys have just gotten so used to each other your relationship got boring to him.i have only been with my boyfriend for 8 months and we are somewhat used to each other but not in a bad way.if your boyfriend is used to you and he's not happy then maybe its time to end it because as much as it will hurt it will hurt even more to keep it going.maybe you should talk to him.if he's used to it and not happy then that means he's not the one you need to be with.stop wasting your time on someone who obviously doesnt want to commit to ONE relationship.he's going to end up hurting you if you keep this up.im sorry but i STRONGLY recommend you end it or have a really long talk with him.best of luck to you

Answer 5

On those days that he says he is too tired to have sex with you are those the days that he misses work? If so then it sounds to me like he may doing more than just sitting on the computer all day long sounds like he is having a booty call in your home.

He is hiding things for a reason. You need to just drop him and find yourself someone else.

Answer 6

It sounds like neither of you know how to end a relationship. He's doing what he knows how to do which is start a new relationship, and you are doing what you know how to do, and that is survive in a relationship that is gone.

You can however try, and try very hard, if this man is the man that is your everything. If this man is NOT your everything, chalk it up to experience, and move out.

Answer 7

This relationship is over - he's on the computer 24/7, misses work because he's talking to women on-line. You need to face it, and move on. Best thing for you - he sounds like a loser.

Answer 8

It is time to leave, if you are not married there is no reason to stay with this loser. I have had trouble with my husband on internet. It has scarred our relationship. I am not sure it can ever be repaired. Men do not realize how bad it hurts when they do things like talking to other women on internet.
Good Luck!! You deserve better than this crap!!

Answer 9

seems you need a reality ck, not to sound mean but get yourself a myspace account and fake pic and set him up to meet you somewhere, and when he arrives which Im 90 percent sure he will you need to walk away, and never look back because sometimes the truth is in front of us but we dont want to believe it.....

Answer 10

it seems like he´s obsessed with the internet......tell him to get rid of the internet connection or you´ll leave.....he´s living in a phantasy world and has lost touch of real life and his real girl:you!