I am in a complicated situation..I am having my best friend get me pregnant so that I can be a mother. We have worked out all the details and his fiance knows of this arranged "issue" now that they are getting married and they both agree with this, if for some reason I am not pregnant by the time they are married, should I still sleep with him or should we stop? He doesnt have a issue with it but i think i might. What should I do?
2007-02-10 01:12:36 · 27 answers · asked by lucy_2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok i think i need to add some details here. he has been my best friend for 15 years. I am in a relationship with my girlfriend of 5 years. i want him to be the dad. I had lost one child with him already and want that second chance. so..maybe this will help get some answers that are not attacking and calling me sick and stupid. there is more than i can type here.
2007-02-10 01:32:11 · update #1
well explaining that you are in a long term relationship with a girl..it changes things a bit. If you guys have done this before then them getting married and wanting to help you and your partner achieve this goal of motherhood is up to you and them. I think that you should ask them if it is ok if after they are married if he can still help you..after all if you cant trust your best friend who can you trust? Good luck i am for it You are not disgusting or thinking of yourself. it is physically impossible for you and you love to have a baby so more power to you and more power to them for being so accepting and willing to help someone become a mother it is a wonderful thing. I dont think you are thinking of yourself at all.
2007-02-10 01:40:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have a baby with this friend, a friend who has no ties to you other than friendship. He's not family, he's planning on marrying someone else, he could WALK AWAY at any time. You are not even beginning to think of the baby, you are being SELFISH and thinking only of yourself. You want a baby....what about this child, doesn't this child deserve some type of committment from a mom and a dad? To knowingly plan to bring a baby in the world just because you want one, without any thought to how this will affect the baby is just unbelievably selfish to me. When that child reaches the age of 5 and starts asking deep questions, you will have very lame answers. When all the other kids in school talk about mommy and daddy....it will be difficult. BUT YOU DON'T CARE, you just brush it aside. AND, what happens if your best friend ends up having kids with his fiance/wife. You don't think she's going to start having problems with this whole situations, feeling protective of her own kids. It's a mess waiting to happen. I think you are being very foolish....and I'm sorry you lost your first baby, I know that pain firsthand, but I think you are doing this for all THE WRONG REASONS.
2007-02-10 02:07:39 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the whole situation now.You are being extremely selfish and only thinking of your wants.The child you have deserves to start out life with it's own father and mother in a commitment towards each other.Sooner or later the relationship between the three of you will be troubled and where then will the child be? in the middle of situations caused by the very adults that are suppose to protect them .If you want to have a child and can't seem to find a man of your own then perhaps you should wait until the Creator sends you a child without the complications of hurting others.If you do go ahead and have a child without a relationship,then don't use your friend and put his future marriage in jeopardy.
2007-02-10 01:30:37 · answer #3 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are asking for trouble, why bring a little baby in the world in a situation like that? He is getting married, don't you think he or she may sue one day for custody? My advice is find someone who has no ties to anyone, and why cant you just wait to have a child with someone you really love and are compatible with? Really strange question you are asking. It won't work the way you guys plan on doing this, never sleep with a best friend it ruins everything, trust etc..
2007-02-10 01:21:36 · answer #4 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you already have the answer. The fact that you are doubting and having reservations about the situation is a bad sign, I think you know you should not be sleeping with a married man, best friend or not, it is a slippery slope. I would look into going to a sperm bank and/or other options.
2007-02-10 01:57:15 · answer #5 · answered by poetprincess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you think a man would have a problem having sex with another woman no strings attached? He wouldn't ! but anyway I can't see why you would continue once he is married, I can't see why you doing this is the first place. It is too personal and we are only human there are automatically going to be some ill feelings towards the situation in the long run. I think that you are making a very big mistake and playing with fire. try another method like your own husband.
2007-02-10 01:24:23 · answer #6 · answered by Jan l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly I don't think you should have children. you choose to be in a relationship with a woman, so you gave up your rights to be a mother. Why should a child have to come up confused because you choose to get your private area eaten out by a woman? Children don't deserve that, because he or she is going to come out confused... Growing up seeing mommy kiss another girl but learning that babies are made by a man and a woman.. IF you want to have children be with a man and stop using them for there sperm.. I don't have a problem with people who choose to be gay. I have an issue when you try to cross lives... Live on one side of the fence... Stop trying to combine the two...
2007-02-10 02:18:37 · answer #7 · answered by Shonda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this day and age you do not have to sleep with someone to have their child. If you love your friend and respect that he is getting married you should understand how his fiance feels. I think if I were in her shoes I would feel threatened as well. If hes just a friend you should not sleep with him it only complicates things. Get artificially inseminated.
2007-02-10 02:18:12 · answer #8 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having sex with him will changes everything. Don't do it. Nothing will be the same after you make love with him, after his married. If you need to be a mother, get your own husband and be pregnant by your husband's sperm. It'll lawfully, gracefully and godfully. To have a baby is a different thing from to have a life with a baby. Think twice.
2007-02-10 01:31:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are other ways to get pregnant besides actually having sex with the guy. Maybe you should explore some of those options. You don't want to become a issue in their marriage later. It does seem inappropriate.
2007-02-10 01:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋