I recently found out that my husband has been calling a woman frequently on his cell phone, they have been talking each and every day, 3 or four times a day for over a year. I feel betrayed, what do I do?
2007-02-10 01:06:25 · 31 answers · asked by Michael W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, you make copies of all the phone records and also check out any credit cards for evidence. Then, you run a credit check on him to make sure there isn't anything else that may have proof on it.
After you have all of this, you contact an attorney. Then, you confront your husband with this information. After that, its' up to you as to whether you want to stay in this marriage. Do not leave the home, make him leave if he wants out.
If the two of you decide you want this marriage to work, he has to end all contact with this woman and you'll need some outside help dealing with the broken trust issue. It can work, but it takes a lot from both of you.
Good Luck.
2007-02-10 01:18:50 · answer #1 · answered by katalah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Confront your husband about this in a calm way. Find out why he has been doing this and if he is seeing and sleeping with her? What is their relationship and why has he not told you about her? I understand you feel hurt and betrayed. Ask him if he still wants you and the marriage or not or if he would rather be with her. If he says you and the marriage then seek counseling and help for you and the marriage and he will have to cut all ties with her . BUT if he would rather be with her and does not want the marriage anymore then you leave him and file for divorce under the grounds of adultery and get counseling for you. Hope this helps some and i am here if you need to talk. Hugs to you today:)
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2007-02-10 01:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, useless advice. Try to relax. You will survive, even IF your worst suspicions are correct. OK. Now, before you make any decisions, talk to your spouse. It's pointless to beat your head against the wall, or start shopping for hit men, before you KNOW. Good or bad, you need to figure out what the situation actually is. Then, YOU can decide what you are to do. I urge you to DO it. Don't hope things will blow over, or just get better. This is YOUR life, so you darm well should get the facts. Then make a decision, and live with it.
2007-02-10 01:53:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you immediately file for divorce I would get an answer from him on what is going on. Also, I think it would be better to do it non-confrontational as hard as it may be. Tell him you know what is going on with the phone calls and that you are leaving. (assuming you are planning to leave). Do you know if he has slept with her? Do the two of you communicate well? Maybe he has found someone that is easy to talk to and it may not be sexual. It still hurts, but I would need to know exactly what has gone on before making a decision.
2007-02-10 01:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by Quant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been betrayed. I would tell him that you know about this, that you want him to go to counseling, and be honest about his feelings. Leave emotion out of it or you'll never get an honest answer. You' ve been together for 11 years. I'm sure he doesn't want to see you cry or be emotional.. he already knows that he's hurt you. But you need him to be honest and allow him to be honest without attacking his response. It would be better to do this in counseling that way you have someone to mediate the communication, and information. Good luck.
2007-02-10 01:12:50 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel that you don't love him anymore and he doesn't respect you, love you or want to be with you anymore, then get a divorce. But if he still wants to be with you, and a part of you still wants to as well, try marriage counselling. It's worth a shot because it might save your marriage. Who knows what could happen? But 3,4 times a day for the last year? Seems like he's found someone else to love, and it might be time you find someone better.
2007-02-10 01:12:29 · answer #6 · answered by rainbowstylin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you maybe the victim of some Betrayal. you must ask yourself why this should be. nothing happens in isolation or without any cause whatsover , though you have to dig deep to find it. in my opinion you have 2 choices :1- you may need admit this relationship just isnt working and the ties that are breaking so let them go, for only heartache can come from hanging on .allow yourself to feel whatever you need ,knowing that in time you will be able to letgo of your hurts ,gather up whatever remains and rid on in search of wholeness. 2- stay and challange with policy.
gather up your courage and speak out for it .the odds maybe stacked against you but be strong ,you know what is right. hold to your truth, no matter who or what tries to sway you .be brave but not foolish .know the risks and recognition limitation. there are times deciding to retreat isnt cowrdice. but good strategy! just be sure you really understand what your are fighting for . this inner conviction will be your greatest strenght
2007-02-10 01:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by dayana_rose2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your husband and find out if he will come clean on these phone calls.... you might want to go to marriage counseling to see if this can be worked out... My feeling is, even though you love him, if he isn't faithful,... it's not worth the risks... and if he wants someone more than you then, let him go! She will soon learn that if he's not faithful to his wife, and runs to a mistress once, he will most likely do it again with her! Best wishes to you... I hope you will be able to work things out for your future... Good luck!
2007-02-10 01:13:53 · answer #8 · answered by MaggieO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 11 yrs. of being with him and you still are not good enough for him? I would say pack your bags and go find some one that is good enough for you and stop worring about him. It's time to live and enjoy your life because you have been fooled once honny don't let it happen again. Best of luck to you!
2007-02-10 01:14:15 · answer #9 · answered by Tonya B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you know what is going on. Tell him if it does not stop he must leave. Find out the number and call the woman as well and tell her he's a married man and what they are doing is wrong. IF it does not stop kick him to the curb.
2007-02-10 01:23:11 · answer #10 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋