God have never let me have birth and life of suffering. Told recently mom dying 6 months..she hates me I feel and I can't seen to fix it. Aunt's funeral yesterday..cried several times..then awfgul things happened and then I overheard extrememly mean comments by family members that hurt me repreatedly through the years. then brother and sister in law told me another mean thing a sister said yesterday that angered and shocked them. Apaperntly another brother sdaid something but I could not promise him I would say nothing so don't find out what that was. Mom sas usuall defends the mean ones and then could not sleep so upset up all night talked to suicde prevention 2 hours and she agreed it was very mean she tried to motivate me to go back to teaching I confessed I lost licence due to two small shoplifting incidents due to extreme poverty and asked question about teaching license on here and people said they would never want their kids around me and I busted out crying
2007-02-10 01:06:06 · 5 answers · asked by janie 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
and feel like how much can I take after 20 car wrecks,cancer three three times and 2 rapes and domestic violence and so many rejections I can't count them. This from a person hundreds of people said I was sweet and nice and kind with heart of gold who helped more people than I can count anfd who subs said they never saw kids love a teacher and react as they did in 15 years of subbing and parent said kids couldn't sleep for excitment seeing me next day after short absence and they loved school and used to hate it and talk about me and fun things we did 3 hours..and this stranger says she wouldn'yt want her kids around me on yahoos and my family who are supposed to love me and occassionally claim to treat me like total dirt. People were shocked at stories of thingas they did to me and I just want to know why and why has God forsaken me and why must I live a life of such pain and how long must I forgive and keep hurting.
2007-02-10 01:06:58 · update #1
Why did a
God of love let my life be so awful When will my life get better like people say it will. It's been 30 years of living h..l Tonight I wish it would end soon but I will not do it myself still I am so hurt,,my family devastated me today..I'm crying my head off at the computer right now..sorry for spilling my guts but if you have answers or wisdom, please share it as I need help right now.
2007-02-10 01:07:16 · update #2
I am 37 years old and it's taken me this long so far to realize and accept the cards dealt to me for my own life journey...and still at times and more often than not do I ponder the "why me's" and the only conclusion I feel I can accept is this: (this is my own personal concept for me and may or may not apply to or be accepted by you)
: Since I am absolutely sure of my way above average caring heart and kindness and my ability to be open minded and non-judgemental to literally everything and everyone....my journey which so far has been more painful and devastating and confusing and frustrating and frightning and emotional than it has been happy,peaceful,understood,comforting,secure,whole and fullfilled and complete...........I must be here to experience the hard-ships and fears and tears of life because I WILL go all the way thru these experiences one at a time or sometimes several at a time with out trying to bring anyone or anything with me so as to not feel the pain by myself. In other words I am a very very good friend a good listener ...I am all about everyone and everything before me ....I thrive on helping if I can to anyone in need and if i'm lucky (which so far can be counted only on one hand) I will share my lifes experiences with someone who will soak up EVERYTHING I have to share as well as then trust enough to honestly open up wide and share and compare thier experiences and although there may not be any or very few ways to draw a happy conclusion or medium....the true true friend I have made will be there with me and for me and just being able to trust that you have someone who knows you ,understands you and is on your side till the end with no judgements for me is the greatest reward and something I would never give up or trade for say a life of easy street and breezy way cuz this world has more hatred,greed,deception,violence,and trickery ,and falsified contents (people) that unless you enjoy living a mostly blueprinted FAKE ,fictional life , the true honest journey isn't the way the majority of earths contents (all living things) are living and therefore really aren't living,and in the end simple honest goodness will be the only things living. This may or may not have made sense to you I hope it does and I hope you can find strength and clarity and most importantly TRUST within yourself to know who you are despite what you may hear fom others (unless what they say is true) you know you better than anyone and you know the truth about your being ....and if you can find others (they are out there although the numbers are not great)like me for instance ,I bet you can and will find some of the answers you are searching for as well as REAL securities like love ,acceptance , recognition,laughter,fellowship,friendship,truth,wholeness and peace. The simple things in life in our day and age have either been forgotten,adjusted completely differently by material objects or just plain ignored and made fun of by the majority of us all ....turning this awesome unexplainable gift we live on into what will eventually (if continued..) be a cold hatefull lonely empty waste of space. You are living in such pain because of the bad surroundings .....like I am ...thats why I when given the chance try to step out of this nightmare to find and remember and enjoy and share the simple things with others who are searching for and really do want just to be happy and just to share and spread happiness the way it used to be and the way it should be.
2007-02-10 02:59:06 · answer #1 · answered by Candi G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg, are you ok?? *hugs* damn, I dont even really know what to say, just want you to know someone has read this and is thinking of you.... It sounds like you have a very messed up family (no offense meant). I'm sorry you lost your teaching license, surely if it was because of extreme poverty that could have at least made allowances?! ignore the nasty people on here, they dont know you or how much of a good or a bad person you are... I know it is hard, but my best friend has had a life of hell some of the things her brother held her down when she was 16 so his entire football team could rape her (and they had been friends all their lives), her stepfather abused her, her mother died of cancer after a long battle, she has been shot, arrested, been stabbed in the back numerous times and yet she is the best person I know... I have gone through hard times myself although nothing this extreme... I am glad you rang the hotline and talked to someone, that was good.... i know you feel like **** but hurting yourself is not the answer i know i've been there and supported my sister through the same thing... Is there anyone in your life you can go to for support? Friends or work colleagues or anyone? Please dont say you wish you had never been born, think of all the people's lives you have touched, I know you havent really gotten anything but I believe in karma and all these people who have hurt you will get their own back trust me. If you wan2 talk more email me little_purple_buttafly@yahoo.com.au, let me know how you are ok? Seriously
2007-02-10 01:27:33 · answer #2 · answered by buttafly_biattch 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably Shattered Angel . The characters are very stereotypical and cardboard cutout type. The main character is a blatant Mary Sue who doesnt do much for the series. All the male characters are simply fanservice; the typical knight in shining armour. Theyre only there to be in a romantic relationship with a character; otherwise they are just eyecandy. The plot is really overused; sci-fi mecha robots, extremely cheesy plot, etc The art is actually really nice, but it will often transfer into a flowery background with a flower field and a storm of cherry blossoms. Again, very chessy. The animation is ok. The fighting is also ok.
2016-05-24 23:46:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that you seem to be feeling so much pain at the moment. I don't know you, but I am thinking of you, wherever you are.
It seems that you have an awful lot to deal with in your life at the moment. Please just do some small things to care for yourself - have a drink of water, go for a walk, eat a nice piece of fruit, listen to a calming song.
And please don't worry about people on the net who say unkind things. They are really not worth worrying about, as they know nothing about you and wouldn't dream of being so rude in reality - but the anonymity of the net lets them get away with it here.
Take care of yourself. You might not feel it at the moment, but you are special and you deserve loving care.
2007-02-10 01:17:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
In order for the people on here to make me cry they would have to have meaning in my life.
2007-02-10 01:34:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋