my husbands friends talk crap aout me behind my back and so does his family and he knows they do but swears they dont. but his friends always accidentally tell me. I think he talks about me too and he dont trust me and i have never gave him reason not to. and he says i do things to make him mad but he only tells me that when we fight over something else that he has done. he has cheated on me and gotten caught doing stuff with other females he shouldnt. so why does he feel this way and what can i do to get him to talk to me and tell me the truth about how he feels? i mean if i do stuff that sounds suspicious and stuff that makes him mad why does he run to his friends and family and lie to them about me and make them hate me more? why cant he tell me these things. he only tells me things this way when we are fighting because of other reasons for things he has done wrong. what should i do and should i even care if his family and friends talk about me behind my back?
2007-02-10 01:03:47 · 8 answers · asked by Angel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To try with this insecure man is a major mistake. You will be setting yourself up to live a life of awkward holidays, always feeling uncomfortable around his friends and family, and always second guessing. If he has not had a pivot point in his life where he has changed because he has hit bottom and now ready to mature and act like a real husband should act then this is not worth it. He has cheated on you, it is time to move on, this is a realationship that if you leave now, you will look back on it and be glad you did. If you don't leave now then you will look back on this one day and be full of regrets, and wonder what my life could of been.
2007-02-10 01:11:32 · answer #1 · answered by 4sanity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe he is behaving that way because he feels guilty. HE knows everyone knows what he has done, or is afraid they do or will know, and he wants them to accept it. If everyone thought he had a wonderful wife and he treated her like crap, what kind of man would he be? So, he is just trying to drag you down to his level to make himself feel better.
Whether or not you should care is iffy. In the big picture it doesn't matter, but it still hurts. Obviously you guys have bigger issues here. There is not much you can do about him slandering you instead of talking to you. I assume you have mentioned this to him before...perhaps you two might benefit from counselling so that you can move past the infidelity and work on your communication.
2007-02-10 09:23:51 · answer #2 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like this guy is just using you as a maid or cook or whatever. I think you have gone beyond the talking stage. If I spoke about my wife the way he says he does about you, I would be just using her as I described and be getting my sex on the side. You may need a lawyer, not a mariage counselor. Good luck.
2007-02-10 09:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a very dysfunctional relationship. Maybe you two could first try couples therapy. If that fails then I would get a separation. If nothing improves then last resort is to file for divorce. Why go through all that unnecessary drama?
2007-02-10 09:18:38 · answer #4 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His guilt about what he has been doing is the cause. When men cheat they always blame their spouse for things that never happened. You have two choices, accept the way he is and the way he is treating you, or get out of that terrible situation. I wish you luck. You deserve better than that.
2007-02-10 09:10:41 · answer #5 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With out knowing his side to the story.
I would get out of that relationship and never look back.
If he does talk badly about you behind your back and pick fight with you, you don't need that.
2007-02-10 09:15:47 · answer #6 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id divorce him since he cheated
2007-02-10 09:55:22 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to ask why are you still with him. Leave him, leave him now.
2007-02-10 09:12:25 · answer #8 · answered by Pandora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋